- One for Q as he notices Bond inspecting a large sandwich:
Q: Don't touch that!
[Bond backs away as if it bites]
Q: That's my lunch!
- General Ourumov, drinking quite frequently from his flask, during the tank chase. Especially "Use the bumper! That's what it's for!"
- The look on his face at the start of the chase when Bond smashes through a wall with the tank is priceless. Hell, that whole chase has a lot of funny moments, simply because of the sheer audacity of the whole thing.
- The look on Ourumov's face after Xenia has way too much fun killing the staff of Severnaya, which seems to say, "Trevelyan has me allied with this sociopath?!"
- When Bond find's the Canadian admiral's body with a giant grin on his face stuffed into the closet. It's as if to tell us that if you had a choice of you wanted to be killed, you should choose to have Xenia Onatopp crush you between her thighs.
- "STAND BY YOUR MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
Valentin: My knee....aches every day. Twice as bad when it's cold. Do you know how long winters last here? Tell him, Dmitri.
Dmitri: Well, it depends—
- Valentin finds Bond's whole persona hilarious:
James Bond. Charming, sophisticated secret agent. "Shaken, but not stirred." Ha ha!
- Bond dropping in on the guard in the bathroom: "Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock." [punches the guard out cold]
- "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" Cue liquid nitrogen tanks exploding and turning Boris into a Human Popsicle.
- Natalya utterly beating the shit out of Boris in the control room. Even Trevelyan smirks.
- Bond in tank = 1; truck with cans of Perrier = 0. A statue (a soldier on horseback) doesn't come out of it too well, either.
- Bond removing his belt preparing the piton within during the shootout in the archives. Bond finds himself on the receiving end of a bewildered look from Natalya.
James Bond: Trust me.
- Boris' Villainous Breakdown at the end, from his Oh Crap! reaction to the antenna malfunction to shaking the computer and screaming "SPEAK TO ME!"
- After Xenia's death: "She always did enjoy a good squeeze."
- During the interrogation scene, Bond and Mishkin are going back and forth, exchanging accusations and insults, when a frustrated Natalya tells them to stop.
"Oh stop it, both of you! Stop it! You're like boys with toys!"
- Jack Wade and his love of stiff-assed Brits.
- When they first meet, Wade flubs the Spy Speak verification code. Bond draws a gun on him and demands to see the Embarrassing Tattoo that he was told Wade would have. When he does...
- How Bond handles his psychiatric evaluation per M's orders: seduce the psychiatrist Caroline and take her on a road trip, and during it, race Xenia Onatopp down windy roads.
Caroline (nervously watching Bond race across a mountainside road): I enjoy a spirited ride as much as the next girl, but...
(Xenia Onatopp revs up in her car right next to theirs)
Caroline: Who's that?
Bond (smirking): The next girl!
- Boris messing with Trevelyan as they prepare to activate the Goldeneye satellite.
Alec Trevelyan: Prepare the dish.
Boris: No! It's too early. I am not ready!
Alec Trevelyan: Do it!
* Boris gives an "okay, fine", look*
- Bond's new car has stinger missiles housed behind the headlights, to which Bond muses, "Just the thing to unwind after a long day at the office."
Q: You have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.
- Q shows off the exploding pen grenade:
Q: Three clicks (clicks the pen thrice) arms the device, another three (does so) disarms it.
Bond: (takes the pen and clicks it three times) ...how long did you say the fuse was?
Q: (snatches and disarms the pen) Oh, grow up, 007!
- And then he demonstrates it:
- Boris' reaction when Bond calls Trevelyan a common thief.
- Bond's response to Mishkin's overly cordial interrogation:
Bond: What, no small-talk? No chit-chat? That's the trouble with the world today. No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore. It's a lost art.
- Alec Trevelyan killing a scientist in the facilty can be this to people who have played the game, since killing scientists and civilians is against the mission briefings.