Funny: GoldenEye

  • One for Q as he notices Bond inspecting a large sandwich:
    Q: Don't touch that!
    [Bond backs away as if it bites]
    Q: That's my lunch!
  • General Ourumov, drinking quite frequently from his flask, during the tank chase. Especially "Use the bumper! That's what it's for!"
    • The look on his face at the start of the chase when Bond smashes through a wall with the tank is priceless. Hell, that whole chase has a lot of funny moments, simply because of the sheer audacity of the whole thing.
  • The look on Ourumov's face after Xenia has way too much fun killing the staff of Severnaya, which seems to say, "Trevelyan has me allied with this sociopath?!"
  • When Bond find's the Canadian admiral's body with a giant grin on his face stuffed into the closet. It's as if to tell us that if you had a choice of you wanted to be killed, you should choose to have Xenia Onatopp crush you between her thighs.
    • "Who's strangling the cat?"
    • When Bond is informed that the cat-strangler in question happens to be the mistress of the man currently pointing a gun in his general direction. Specifically, Valentin Zukovsky informs him of this by shooting between Bond's legs, causing the cushion Bond's sitting on to explode feathers all over the place.
      Valentin: [Threatening] That is Irina. My mistress.
      Bond: [Trying to school his face appropriately] Very... talented girl.
      • "IRINA! TAKE A HIKE!"
    • The ensuing reaction when Bond asks Valentin (the man he shot in the leg) to do him a favor:
    Valentin: My knee....aches every day. Twice as bad when it's cold. Do you know how long winters last here? Tell him, Dmitri.
    Dmitri: Well, it depends—
    Valentin: SILENCE!
  • Bond dropping in on the guard in the bathroom: "Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock." [punches the guard out cold]
  • "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" Cue liquid nitrogen tanks exploding and turning Boris into a Human Popsicle.
  • Natalya utterly beating the shit out of Boris in the control room. Even Trevelyan smirks.
  • Bond in tank = 1; truck with cans of Perrier = 0. A statue (a soldier on horseback) doesn't come out of it too well, either.
  • Boris' Villainous Breakdown at the end, from his Oh, Crap reaction to the antenna malfunction to shaking the computer and screaming "SPEAK TO ME!"
  • After Xenia's death: "She always did enjoy a good squeeze."
  • During the interrogation scene, Bond and Mishkin are going back and forth, exchanging accusations and insults, when a frustrated Natalya tells them to stop.
    "Oh stop it, both of you! Stop it! You're like boys with toys!"
  • Jack Wade and his love of stiff-assed Brits.
  • How Bond handles his psychiatric evaluation per M's orders: seduce the psychiatrist Caroline and take her on a road trip, and during it, race Xenia Onatopp down windy roads.
    Caroline (nervously watching Bond race across a mountainside road): I enjoy a spirited ride as much as the next girl, but...
    (Xenia Onatopp revs up in her car right next to theirs)
    Caroline: Who's that?
    Bond (smirking): The next girl!
  • Boris messing with Trevelyan as they prepare to activate the Goldeneye satellite.
    Alec Trevelyan: Prepare the dish.
    Boris: No! It's too early. I am not ready!
    Alec Trevelyan: Do it!
    * Boris gives an "okay, fine", look*
  • Bond's new car has stinger missiles housed behind the headlights, to which Bond muses, "Just the thing to unwind after a long day at the office."
    Q: You have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.
  • Q shows off the exploding pen grenade:
    Q: Three clicks (clicks the pen thrice) arms the device, another three (does so) disarms it.
    Bond: (takes the pen and clicks it three times) long did you say the fuse was?
    Q: (snatches and disarms the pen) Oh, grow up, 007!
    • And then he demonstrates it:
  • Boris' reaction when Bond calls Trevelyan a common thief.
  • Bond's response to Mishkin's overly cordial interrogation:
    Bond: What, no small-talk? No chit-chat? That's the trouble with the world today. No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore. It's a lost art.
  • Alec Trevelyan killing a scientist in the facilty can be this to people who have played the game, since killing scientists and civilians is against the mission briefings.