Funny / The Shadow

From the 1994 film

  • During their first meeting, Khan does a big speech on how he's planning to conquer the world.
    Khan: That is a lovely tie, by the way. Where did you get it?
    Lamont: Brooks Brothers.
    Khan: Is that mid-town?
    Lamont: 35th and Manhattan. You are a barbarian.
  • In a second meeting, Lamont and Khan each fire a gun at each other and the bullets just collide in mid-air. Both men just stare with open-mouthed "are you kidding me?!" looks.
  • The Mongol warrior that the Shadow has been trying to interrogate has just fallen to his death. Cut to Moe, reading a book titled Developing Your Psychic Ability.
    Moe: I sense somebody's coming...
    SPLAT The warrior hits the sidewalk near Moe's cab.
  • At dinner with his uncle:
    Wainwright: You know something, Lamont? It puzzles me how a man like yourself, who has absolutely nothing to do, can be late for every little engagement?
    Lamont: Practice, Uncle Wainwright. Lots and lots of practice.
  • When Margo is trying to convince Lamont to let her help:
    Margo: We need each other.
    Lamont: No, we donít.
    Margo: We have a connection.
    Lamont: No, we donít.
    Margo: Then how do you explain that I can read your thoughts?
    Lamont: My thoughts are hard to miss.
    Margo: And why is that?
    Lamont: Psychically, Iím very well endowed.
    Margo: (yeah right) Iíll bet you are.
  • The following exchange concerning dreams:
    Margo: Oh, God I dreamed.
    Lamont: So did I. What did you dream?
    Margo: I was lying naked on a beach in the South Seas. The tide was coming up to my toes. The sun was beating down. My skin hot and cool at the same time. It was wonderful. What was yours?
    Lamont: I dreamed I tore all the skin off my face and was somebody else underneath.
    Margo: You've got problems.
    Lamont: I'm aware of that.
  • The part where he tries to hypnotise Margo into forgetting him. Not only is she immune due to her own telepathy, but also accuses him of being drunk. The look on Cranston's face was priceless after.
  • Moe and Margo standing in the rain, waiting.
    Moe: You know what I love about this job? The excitement.
  • When Lamont meets Khan in the restaurant and tries to give him the number of a good psychiatrist he knows, Khan loses him temper and drives the Phurba point-first into the table between then.
    Lamont: Oh, that knife.note 
    Khan: Recognize it? I took it from the Tulku. No, no, I correct myself. I took it out of the Tulku after I ran it through his heart.

From the pulps:

  • The Golden Vulture by Lester Dent:
    (One of the villains has realized that a chance to murder someone is a trap set by the Shadow)
    O'Hallihan cursed violently.
    "Seventy-fifth Feather!" he began calling over and over into the instrument. "Seventy-fifth Feather! Important orders! Seventy-fifth Feather!" He kept that up fully five minutes, his voice growing squeaky with excitement.
    "Will the Fifty-first Feather do?" a voice asked, nervously.