Funny / The Other Guys

• The TLC references.
• The really quiet fight scene.
• The song filled with rich history.
• Gamble and Hoitz getting bribed.
• The grandma sex talk.
• The Gator song.
  • Gamble's Backstory of being a college pimp nicknamed "Gator". That single premise alone has had fans begging for a prequel.
• Mark Wahlberg's utterly straight-faced ballet dancing has to be seen to be believed.
  • The capper is his claim that he only learned how to dance like that to make fun of other boys for being "queer".
    Allen: ...you learned to dance like that sarcastically?
    Terry: Yeah, I guess!
• Allen's explanation as to why tuna would win against lions in a war.
  Allen: ...We'd develop a system to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family, and we would corner your... your pride, your children, your offspring...
  Terry: How would you do that?
  Allen: We would construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp, we will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem! That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen and then stalk you.
  • After Allen wins this argument, Terry's response is to throw his hot coffee on his shirt before storming out.
  • Interestingly, the Atlantic bluefin tuna that Allen is referring to don't weigh 800 lb as he claims, but close to double that at 1,500 lb. He may have been off about the weight, but he wasn't kidding about how big they were.
• Gamble's first "desk pop."
• Danson and Highsmith hitting the pavement was pretty funny, right?
  • "Aim for the bushes..." It should be noted that there's nothing down there but flat concrete. Terry even says at their funeral that "there wasn't even an awning in their direction".
    • It doesn't get any funnier than a heroic scene between The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson jumping off a building pursuing villains to a Foo Fighters song... ending in both of them immediately dying.
    "There goes my hero, watch him as he goes! There goes m-" *SPLAT!*
    • If you watch the scene carefully, their movements as they fall (epically flailing their arms) appear to shift slightly, which brings to mind the possibility that they realized just how Screwed they were the moment they were a few feet away from the ground!
• Hoitz and Gamble lying on the ground after the explosion at the accounting firm. "How do they walk away? I call bullshit on that!"
  Allen: When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit!
  Terry: Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate!
• "ARE YOU A BIG MAN? HUH? I'M TALKIN' TO YOU! DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SAY 'I'M PUTTIN' ON MY BIG BOY PANTS'? LOOK, I'M WEARIN' A BELT! I GOT BIG BOY PANTS ON!" "You're scaring the shit out of me, man, stop it!"
  • "I CAN SAY BIG LOUD THINGS! I CAN BE DEMONSTRATIVE!"
  • "IS THIS HOW YOU CONDUCT YOURSELF? IN A DEMOCRACY?"
• The helicopter being taken down by golf balls.
• "Good cop/bad cop? Oh...I thought you said bad cop/bad cop."
• A key piece of evidence ends up tying to an ex-girlfriend of Gamble's, who expresses seething rage and then crazed desire to have Gamble make out with her again. With her husband in the other room totally fine with it... and he gets angry when Gamble and Holtz flee the house before Christinith can finish making out with Gamble.
  "YOU GET BACK HERE AND MAKE LOVE TO MY WIFE!"
  • After getting away, Holtz still couldn't wrap his head around how Gamble is like catnip to women.
    • Then it turns out they didn't get away - Christinith and her husband were still chasing them, twenty miles later.
• The "Bed Bath and Beyond" scene. Notable in that there was a featurette made about it ("Bed Bath and Way Beyond") during which the director said there was nearly half an hour's worth of material that Michael Keaton improvised that they could have used. Some notable alternate takes include:
  "Please. Stop talking about your near death experience on the Staten Island Ferry, okay? That white light shit that scares people. That's not what the 'Beyond' means. It's 'Bed, Bath and Beyond', not 'Bed, Bath and I saw a light and my mom came back, screaming at me to clean my room' and that shit. Don't do that."
  "People know how loofahs work, Tony. Don't unwrap the thing, clean your back off and go 'See?' and then try to sell the thing to the guy!"
  "Kristin. Bath towels. When you're displaying the bath towels - I don't care how big they are, I don't care if they're the big shower kind - you've been taking your top off. Okay? Don't do that. I don't mean to point you out, but just don't do it. Just keep your clothes on and say 'See how big they are?' You don't have to go 'See how big they are?' The size refers to the towels."
  "Votive candles. The scented ones. Okay? They're just for light and a little bit of scent. I'm not going to point to who it was, but somebody was putting the hot wax on their nipples."
  "By the way, if somebody comes in who even looks remotely like a gangbanger, don't sell 'em knives! Just don't do it."
• The other officers chewing out Holtz for shooting Derek Jeter:
  "HE IS A BI-RACIAL ANGEL!"
  "YOU SHOULD'VE SHOT A-ROD!"
• The narrator's summation of Danson and Highsmith's deaths.
  "I don't know, but that shit was crazy. "
• Samuel L. Jackson telling Allen to "shut his face."
• When Hoitz tries to talk to the suicidal guy who is preparing to jump from a window, he says this:
  "Listen. We all know you're a scumbag, and nobody cares about you."
• Gamble bursts into Captain Mauch's office to demand his gun.
  Gator needs his gat, you punk ass bitch!
  • The funny part is Mauch is on the phone and just hands him the thing almost nonchalantly.
• "Gentlemen, you have a choice- "Mamma Mia!" or "Jersey Boys"."
  • BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY, BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY...