Funny / Osmosis Jones

  • "Mr. Mayor, what do you have to say to all the hair cells recently laid off from the scalp?" "There'll be plenty of new jobs for everyone on the back."
  • From the same scene as above, "Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor! Do you have a plan to deal with the fat cell housing shortage?" "I'd like to announce we are beginning construction on a, haha, third chin."
  • Leah running into Thrax in the hallway. "HAI BABEH!"
  • From the deleted scene:
    Ozzy: Now get your butt outta my car!
    Drix: Oh! I don't even have a butt.
  • And this little gem.
    Ozzy: What the heck is a uvula?
    Drix: It's that little dangly thing that hangs down in Frank's-
    Ozzy: Boxer shorts! Okay, here we go! (drives down a road leading to "Rectum")
    Drix: Not THAT little dangly thing, the one in his throat!
    Ozzy: (Beat) I knew that. I knew that.
  • The exchange when Ozzie describes to Drix how poor he was in his childhood.
    Ozzy: I'm not kidding man, my high school was Crack Central. No, it was IN the crack. Right in the stanky, pucky center. We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches. You ever try to blow dry your hair with a fart?
    Drix: OK, I get it, you were poor.
    Ozzy: You bet I was. You ever try to make a snowman with toilet paper cling-ons? Now, that's poor.
    Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit.
    Ozzy: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit, that's for rich folks.
    Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes
    Ozzy: Ah, you wanna talk about wipin'?
    Drix: NO!!!.
  • Thrax's trip into Frank's Black Bug Room.
  • The Ebola joke.
    Thrax: This is about the baddest illness any of y'all have ever seen.
    Scabies: Look who thinks he's the Ebola virus! HA!
    Thrax: (For once not wearing a Slasher Smile) Ebola? Let me tell you something about Ebola, baby. EBOLA IS A CASE OF DANDRUFF COMPARED TO ME!
    Scabies' Mouth: You ain't so tough! HA! That was nothin'! (gets sucked down a drain which presumably puts him out of his misery)