Any time Rincewind proudly declares his own cowardice and/or uselessness.
"Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad."
And also proudly declaring that he is a Racist — the ten kilometre, the hundred metres, he ran them all.
The wizards' attempts to explain sex to the God of Evolution.
Mrs. Whitlow, who finally takes over and explains it matter-of-factly. They can't actually hear what she's saying, but apparently there are hand gestures involved, prompting them to wonder if A.) Mrs. Whitlow is a widow, and B.) just what her husband died of.
Fights over who is going to bring Mrs. Whitlow a tray of food.
The wizards' ship has fallen apart, and they've barely made it to the next island. Before, when they were out in the sea, they saw the Bursar swimming away from them slightly, before remarking that they shouldn't worry, he always comes back. He does come back. On a wave. Standing up. Surfing. Ridcully and Ponder watch as he avoids death several times, and when he glides up on the beach, shoving the plank into the sand, what does he say...?
Bursar: Hooray. My feet are wet. This is a nice forest. It's time for supper.
Mad relating to Rincewind how he and his family traveled thousands of miles across shark-infested waters to Xxxx. "Why, if it weren't for the the dwarf bread we-" "Never would've clubbed the sharks to death?" "Ah, I see you know your breads."
The Archchancellor's Keys routine. Especially the overblown way it's done.
Rincewind and The Luggage's reunion.
Rincewind: Is that a stud? Have you had your lid pierced?
The Luggage backed away. It's manner indicated very clearly, that while it might given on the shoes, the dress and even the earrings, the battle over the stud would go to the finish.
Death asks his library for a book about the dangerous animals of Xxxx, and is buried in an avalanche of volumes. Then he asks for a list of the harmless animals there, and gets one piece of paper with the words "Some of the sheep".
Ponder, fed up with how the rest of the faculty is feuding over Mrs. Whitlow's attention, remarks, "You'd think she was the only woman in the world." To this, Ridcully replies that she just might be.
Ponder's mind raced and hit a speed bump.
[Baby!Librarian] looked like he had seen something truly horrific, but this is a baby orangutan's natural expression and in any case he was looking at the Dean.