Funny / Carpe Jugulum

  • Magrat Garlick's given name is a misspelling; it was supposed to be Margaret, but her mother's mispelling of the name ensured the priest got it wrong. So when Magrat's daughter was to be named, she spelled the child's name out carefully and added a little note to the priest about it. He was so nervous, never having conducted the ceremony before, that he formally and irrevocably pronounced the infant "Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre".
    • Which, you have to agree, is better than the old king "My-God-He's-Heavy the First", or Mr. "James What the Hell's That Cow Doing in Here Poorchick", who's usually called 'Moocow'.
    • My-God-He's-Heavy the First, implying that there have been at least two Kings My-God-He's-Heavy.
  • Magrat shocks Nanny Ogg, who wasn't expecting the coven's erstwhile Maiden to crack a naughty joke of her own, while teasing her about Igor's apparent crush on her.
    "Oh, I don't know, I really don't," said Nanny. "I mean, it's flattering and everything, but I really don't think I could be goin' out with a man with a limp."
    "Limp what?"
    Nanny Ogg had always considered herself unshockable, but there's no such thing. Shocks can come from unexpected directions.
    • It's heartening to know Magrat has become more comfortable with her sexuality and she and Verence are having a good time in that regard.
  • Granny, having come back from having been apparently killed, is about to walk into a storm to fight the Magpyres and is obviously overexerted and wounded. Mightily Oats tries to rally the townsfolk of Lancre to help her by asking if it's right to have a poor old woman walk out there alone to fight a whole clan of monsters. The townsfolk ask him why they should care what happens to the monsters. Oats then tries to ask if they'd let anyone walk out alone on a night such as this. They reply that it depends on whether or not they knew where Granny was at the moment.
  • Death collecting Thcrapth, before Igor brings him back to life. Death notes that while occasionally people are relieved to see him, this is the first time he's been met with such enthusiasm or, come to that, such a sheer amount of slobber. Death allows Igor to bring the dog back partly because it seems the only way he'll get his scythe back from the mutt. Even funnier when you remember Death is a Kindhearted Cat Lover.
  • Count Bela de Magpyr (the Old Count) reminiscing with the townsfolk over all the times their ancestors have killed him, including saying he's got a "good memory for necks" to Granny Weatherwax.