Funny / The Golden Child

  • The scene at the airport where Numspa attempts to have Jarrell arrested. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome as Jarrell foils the attempt by pointing out that if he's arrested, the Ajanti Dagger will end up in an evidence locker until after the trial, anywhere from a month to a year - more than enough time to turn his quest into even more of a mockery than it already is.
    Jarrell: *speaks in a goofy accent* My brother has forgiven me! (kisses cheek)
    • Adding to that immediately after is Numspa's complete WTF expression at that kiss on the cheek, to the point it makes one wonder if Charles Dance (playing Numspa) had any idea what was about to happen before they started filming.
  • The scene wherein Jarrell tries to sneak into a place via a shortcut through a suburban backyard and suddenly finds himself awkwardly facing the family who lives there in mid-cookout. "Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten anyone. I just...I just want some chips. I just want some chips." (pointing gun) "Turn that over, man, it's burning! It's burning, turn it over!"
  • Jarrell makes scary noises upon entering the maze.
    Jarrell: It's a piece of cake! Oooooeeeeeoooooohh!
  • Jarrell calls Kee Nang "Agent 69".
  • The Golden Child makes friends with one of the really dumb bad guy by bringing a soda can to life, and having it do a little dance number.
  • A variation on Punch! Punch! Punch! Uh Oh....
    Jarrell: (walks into room to kill Numspa, grins, raises knife) My dear, sweet brother Numsie!
    Sardo Numspa: (transforms into demon)
    Jarrell: (makes Oh, Crap! face) I can see you're busy right now. I'll come back some other time. (runs awaaaay)
  • The Old Man knows Jarrell all too well.
    The Old Man: Keep your thought as pure as the water.
    Jarrell: Hey, this water ain't really that pure.
    The Old Man: Un-heh, neither are you.
  • And after he gets the knife.
    Jarrell: I got the knife... now turn on the goddamn lights!
  • Jarrell walks past a newsstand and reads over the shoulder of a man perusing a "Chunky Asses" magazine:
    "Butt Pie"....that's the sequel to a book written called "Butt Cake"....very popular on the newsstands.... was a butt with cake all over it. (The man puts the magazine down and leaves in a hurry. Chandler looks at the mag and calls after him) " Chunky Asses"?
  • The Signature Scene where Jarrel and Kee Nang first enter the monastery and are required to spin giant Tibetan prayer wheels when making their requests....
    Kee Nang: *Chants an exchange where she makes the request for Ajanti danger to The Old Man. Spinning the wheel for each statement*
    The Old Man: "Let HIM ask for it!"
    Chandler Jarell: *messes with the wheel like he's scratching a record for a rap song* "I say-a I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I WANT THE KNIFE."
    The Old Man: *annoyed* "Let him ask AGAIN!"
    Chandler Jarell: *a bit cowed* "Uh....*spins wheel*....I waaaaannnt the kniiiiife....*spins wheel*....pleeeeeeeeessse."