Funny: The Dick Van Dyke Show
- In "That's My Boy??", Rob and Laura thought that they may have picked up the wrong child due to earlier mix-ups at the hospital. They finally contact Mr. and Mrs. Peters, and all suspicions disappear due to racial differences.
- This exchange between Rob and Laura:
Rob: Did you know that one in every fifty million women has the wrong baby?Laura: That's a cute trick; how does she manage it?Rob: No, she doesn't have it while she's having it; after she has it, she has it!
- This exchange between Rob and Laura:
- In "The Curious Thing About Women," Rob finds that Laura has been reading his mail, so he writes a show about a woman reading her husband's mail. Laura sees the show and later repeats everything done by the woman on TV. The crowning moment of hilarity is when Rob walks in and finds the raft leaning against the wall with Laura hiding behind it, trying to contain her tears of shame. From the same episode, we have the reactions of Millie and Jerry, who come in to apologize for the ribbing they gave Laura, only to be reduced to helpless laughter at seeing her with the raft.
- One episode features a man who claims to be Rob's old army buddy, but Rob does not recognize his face or his name. The man and his wife show up at the Petries' home and act in ways that make Rob and Laura suspect that he is a thief. Then Rob finally remembers the man, but the police have already shown up, and Rob is at a loss for words.
- In "It May Look Like a Walnut," Rob has a nightmare about a horror movie (starring Danny Thomas) in which aliens with eyes in the back of their heads invade and use walnuts to turn humans into aliens. The most memorable moment is Rob opening the closet door and hundreds of walnuts spilling out, with Laura sliding out soon afterwards.
- "Danny Thomas put nuts in my hat!"
- "I see you!"
- In "Washington vs. the Bunny," Rob has a nightmare about his indecision over whether to go to Washington to do some talent scouting, as per his job, or stay at home and watch his son, Ritchie, perform in a school play as "the main bunny". The nightmare involves Laura dressed in a bunny costume and controlling Rob as a puppet and making him dance like one. At one point, there's this exchange:
Laura: (puppeting Rob) Bow for the people. (Rob does so) Now show how nicely you make a telephone call.
Rob: (holding up a phone; nasally) Hello? I want to go to Washington!
Laura: No! Now you say that the right way.
Rob: Hello? I don't want to go to Washington!
Laura: That's a good boy.
- The episode "The Impractical Joker". Buddy humiliates Rob with the practical joke and the mild-mannered writer resorts to a Paranoia Gambit to get back at him. He continually tells Buddy that he's not going to do anything - to the point of calling him up in the middle of the night to do so - and comments once that when he one day plays a joke on him, it will be so "diabolically clever" that he'll never see it coming. Needless to say, this does nothing for Buddy's nervousness.
- The Stinger at the end of "4 1/2" is particularly funny in and out of context. Dick Van Dyke addresses the audience:
Dick: Next week, by popular request, the whole cast is going to prison. Join us, won't you?
- What makes this funny out of context is that Van Dyke didn't often do this at the end of episodes, making this seem like a complete non sequitur. In context, this is funny because that's actually precisely what happens in the next episode.
- In "The Sleepwalking Brother", Stacy's subverted love song:
My heart told me that I should get a wife;My heart said I was in a rut.My heart told me that I should get a wife—I wish my heart would keep its big mouth shut!
- The entirety of the the Christmas Episode, "The Alan Brady Show Presents".
- "Waiting for an Armadillo", the avant-gard play Laura goes to in "Roses and Rye Bread."
- From "Ghost of A. Chantz":
Mel: Scream! You're on Sneaky Camera!...Rob: You mean to say you've been filming...all...this. Come on out of that room, Mel.Mel: Rob, are you angry?Rob: No, Mel — I'm insane!Mel: Keep going; we're still filming!