Funny / The Co-Optional Podcast

The Co-Optional Podcast

• One of the funniest moments came in Episode 35 when TotalBiscuit started musing on how he still has nightmares about taking tests, which resulted in Jesse attempting to give him nightmares about bananas... with guest Sly Fox Hound revealing a giant banana-man plush that sent the entire cast into hysterics. This moment is also animated.
  TotalBiscuit: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE THAT?!
• Towards the end of episode 68, we have a glorious nine-minute rant from TB on the subject of credibility in journalism. From Law and Order's infamous then-recent episode to flipping Ben Kuchera the double bird, everything in this rant could qualify, but the CMOF comes at the very end:
  TB: How could you have less credibility than me?! I'm sitting here in a BATHROBE, you idiots!
• In Episode 69, there was a discussion on The Order: 1886 when TB remarked about a realistic dong, spinning off into a conversation about dong physics.
• Episode 73 at one point has the hosts and PeanutButterGamer discussing what their wrestling personas would be like. Jesse is The Garbageman. This moment is also animated
• Episode 74 begins with everybody talking about dildos, VR porn, juicy penis controller, and Japanese "suction" machines and Jesse being the star of the show.
  *Everybody stops talking about Japanese "suction" machines in favor of going back to discussing a penis-based controller*
  Jesse Cox: Why are we skipping over the Japanese fuck machines?! *Everyone busts up laughing* No, no, no! No, no, no!! You can't move on from that! There are machines! In Japan! That jerk you off! We are not moving on from this, I wanna know!
  • Eventually, TotalBiscuit gets everything back together, before Dodger promptly sends everyone back down the rabbit's hole (and Jesse under his desk) by mentioning Anne Hathaway: Erotic Mouthscape. It then turns out that the game site couldn't handle all the sudden influx of traffic and crashed.^note The second website to do so during that episode, as it happened.
  Dodger: You'll never know what happened after you banged your tooth! You'll never know, those of you who got that far!
• In an attempt to fill the podcast with something during the post-E3 drought, TB decided to play Quiplash, Fibbage, and Drawful with the usual along with Cry, Crendor, and Proton Jon.
  • At the end of one round of Quiplash, the prompt was "An angry review you'd give this game (Quiplash)." Two of the answers were about FOV Sliders. And it's Crendor who wrote the winning FOV Slider entry, prompting a reaction from TB.
  • In another round of Quiplash, the prompt was "Come up with the name of book [sic] that would sell a million copies, immediately." The two choices were "Pictures of Boobs Inside Buy Now" and "Harry Potter and the Game of Thrones". TB, who had up to that point criticized most of the answers, admitted both choices were Actually Pretty Funny.
  • During Fibbage, the final question was "Former first lady Barbara Bush wrote an official apology letter to this fictional character in 1990." One of the answers was "DarkSydePhil".
  TB: We only wish he was a fictional character!
  • In Drawful, TB utterly fails at lamp attack. Cry made an obvious throwaway answer to poke fun at it, and Crendor picked that answer.
• Episode 90: Nintendo's evil plan. Now animated.
  TotalBiscuit: We found out why everyone had gone to The Rapture.
  • With the release of Pokemon GO, it's now Hilarious in Hindsight.
• Episode 93: The idea of using weed as a performance enhancer for eSports.
• Their discussion on Overwatch, resulting in them having the idea of all joining a game as Tracer and spamming her catch phrases over VOIP.
  Tracer here! Tracer here! Cavalry's here!
• Episode 97: A slip of the tongue leads to "Dodger's idiot mouth".
• Ep. 102 starts off with TB singing the #FucKonami anthem.
• In Ep. 105 with JonTron, while they were discussing British swear words, Jon had a derail where he brought up Grant Kirkhope's Mumbo Jumbo voice, where upon the transformation incantation was Grant's exclamation of "ooh, me knackers!" when experiencing pain in said region. And that's just as the cast was about to take a break.
• When they started streaming Episode 107 with Xavier Woods, there were some technical faults which kept Xavier's mic from working, and hilarity ensues. Moment captured here.
• TB's American Football rant in Ep. 110, where he calls it the nerdiest sport.
  TB: American Football is nerdier than Blood Bowl, and Blood Bowl has fucking goblins in it!
• During Ep. 118 with Cinnamon Toast Ken, Jesse's mother sends him an e-mail noting how much better Ken's camera and lighting setup make him look and that Jesse should ask him how to do the same.
• Ep. 139 with Ben Croshaw had TB look into the Devolver Digital Films line. One of which is "The Mechanical Bride", and he finds the screenshots terrifying enough to find a trailer on YouTube to inflict on the viewers. He then comes across a part of it where a bot thrusts its pelvis, and promptly nopes out of it. To cap it all, Dodger reveals that Devolver Digital's site crashed on account of so many viewers flocking to watch the video.
• While discussing the vaporware status of Half Life 2 Episode 3 on Ep. 185, TB suggests that while Valve's games are great, they aren't always the best in their respective genres. Upon hearing this, Jesse and Nerd³ swiftly peace out to leave TB to his fate.
  Nerd³: When this gets gif'd internet, I wasn't involved!
• When the group talks about Amiibo's, they create an alternate universe where apocalyptic tribes are formed around Pokemon types. Tribes with an industrial theme are based on poison types, a troupe of wandering minstrels based on Jigglypuffs or musical normal types, the fire tribe would have a Charmander with a doof warrior, nature conservationists based on grass types and finally a city based on water types and they would have constructed the city on the back of a large blastoise. The animated version is just as funny and intriguing.
  Jim Sterling: "We're joking about this, but the Amiibocalypse is coming, and it's gonna take us all."
• While Episode 217 is almost entirely a tearjerker (a memorial episode after Totalbiscuit passed away from cancer) Jesse finds a running thread of levity. While Genna and Dodger recount heartwarming stories of John's life, Jesse can't get over the fact that in all of the Yaoi fanart created featuring him and John, he was always on the... er... receiving end of things.
  • The cast got a round of sad chuckles from Gennas story about TB's medicine-induced dreams - specifically that he was playing Fortnite - and him criticizing the quality of his dreams afterward.

The Co-Optional Lounge

• Episodes 4 & 5 of the Co-Optional Lounge (in which the crew plays Battlestar Galactica) are rife with hilarity. The funniest moment arguably being when Crendor inadvertently sends himself to the brig.
  • If that doesn't make you laugh Totalbiscuit's contagious laugh probably will.
• At the climax of Episode 8 of the Co-Optional Lounge, TB is about to win their game of Talisman when Jesse resolves to acquire the Gong of War in order to pull TB off of the Tower and to effectively destroy TB's chances of winning. What ensues also doubles as a Crowning Moment Of Awesome for Jesse.
  Crendor: "It's an Easter miracle!"
• The CoxCon 2015 Co-Optional Lounge: Whenever Crendor wins in Bucket of Doom
  • Crendor's answer for the mermaid question.
• Towards the end of one session of Secret Hitler, Jesse's reaction to the then-current turn, then Crendor actually winning as Hitler, and just as the liberal TB successfully had him elected as chancellor. TB reacts accordingly.
• The sixth episode of Secret Hitler saw Cry getting shot in one of the games. Because dead players are not allowed to speak normally for the rest of the game, he instead proceeds to provide snarky comments at the appropriate moments using a wavering voice with an echo effect, which is later dubbed as 'Ghost Cry'.
  Genna I said yes [to voting in Toasterwoman] because I didn't have any reason not to trust her, and I also wanted to know if John was Hitler!
  TB Well, now you know that I'm not!
  Sinvicta: Why would you want to know if TB was Hitler?! If he was, that would mean the end of the game! If he was liberal we could still keep going!
  Genna: I forgot about that!
  Ghost Cry: Likely excuuuuuuuuuuuse!
  
  Ghost Cry: You trust Crendor like dummieeeees!
  TB: Fuck off Ghost Cry!
  • TB also spends that entire game with the word 'suspicious' written with an arrow pointing to him and a 'Shoot me' on his side of the table.
• In the 8th episode of Secret Hitler, Jesse Cox was Hitler for the first game. In the second game, everyone is convinced he's liberal except Nika, to the point that TB gives him Chancellorship for the first round after the 3rd fascist card was played. The next bit of dialogue goes as follows:
  Sinvicta: [Jesse] are you Hitler?
  Jesse: (Beat) (Pulls out Hitler role card) Yeah, of course I'm fucking Hitler.
  Liberals: What?

TGS Podcast

• Episode 14, where the trio go live together for the first time in the series' run, has a lot of funny moments, but one of the best is when TB discovers that the Jaffa cakes shipped to Jesse has the expiry date of '1272' on the box after they literally fed one to Dodger for a taste test. Hilarity Ensues as the trio go through confusion, amusement and denial.
  Jesse: I think what we're about to find out is that we've killed Dodger live on air.
  TB: 'Best Before: 1272.' No, I'm actually deadly serious. *shows the box to Jesse* Look, see?
  Jesse: *takes a look* Oh my god! *cracks up* No way!
  TB bursts out laughing and doesn't stop for a good while
  Dodger: Wait. *takes a look at the box and then drops it as she shakes in silent laughter*
  Jesse: I feel like we should be pouring out this [champagne] for our soon-to-be dead homie. I'm so sorry.
  Dodger: Those are some seriously old Jaffa cakes, dude.
  
  Then TB calls for a break because the three are laughing so hard, and when we come back they're still laughing.
  
  Jesse: Wait, that can't be right! *sends TB into laughter again as he checks the box*
  TB: Oh, you don't think it's from the 13th century?!
  Jesse: 'Best Before, 1272.' But it has the new stuff, so it can't be that old. Maybe it means, like— *beat* No, it says 1272.
• In one of the final TGS podcast episodes they discuss Australia and their issue with anal probing, and while the discussion naturally goes into the topic of Suspension of Disbelief the logic for it was a tad odd.
  Jesse: Anal probing does not occur because it's too damn hard!
  • Also from that episode, the talk about Jesse liking his players 18 plus.
  Dodger: "And now when people find you at conventions they can look at their ID and say, 'You know, next year'."
  TB bursts out laughing
  Jesse: Here's the thing, I'll look at them and say 'For you, I'll wait'
  Crendor: "But when you get there I got my anal probe in the back of my truck!"

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