Funny: Stand by Me

  • Just after Teddy breaks down over Milo Pressman calling his father a looney and the gang lapses into awkward/sympathetic silence, Vern begins singing, 'Have Gun, Will Travel' and then abruptly trails off as he realises that nobody finds it remotely amusing.
  • Teddy's threat to Pressman: "I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!"
  • "By the time we get there, the kid isn't even going to be dead anymore."
  • And then there's Gordie and Chris's reaction ('JESUS!!') to the gun firing (which Chris claimed wasn't loaded).
  • "Oh Billy, I wish we never boosted that car! Oh Billy, I think I just turned my Fruit-of-the-Looms into a fudge factory!"
  • "Aw, Vern, you we're so scared, you looked like the fat guy from Abbott and Costello when he saw the Mummy!"
    • "I wasn't that scared."
  • Vern crawling on the train track while Gordie slowly walks behind him with a steely expression on his face.
  • "D'you use your left hand or your right hand for that?" "You wish."
  • The whole campfire conversation with the famous "Man, that's weird... What the hell is Goofy?" and all.
  • "This is my age! I'm in the prime of my youth, and I'll only be young once!" "Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life."
  • "I don't shut up, I grow up! And when I look at you, I throw up! Bleeeehhhhhh!"
    • "And then your mom comes around the corner and licks it up."
  • "That's Chopper?!"
  • "Now, he said 'Sic 'em, boy.' But what I heard was, 'Chopper, sic balls.'" *cut to Gordie screaming in fear*
  • "Suck my fat one you cheap dime store hood."
    • "'Suck my fat one?' Who ever told you you had a fat one?"
      • "Biggest one in four counties."