Funny / Rhythm of War

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Chapter 2

• Veil being annoyed at how long it's taking for the Sons of Honor to kidnap her.
• Kaladin enters the stormshelter to talk to the Mink, but he's already snuck out, leaving behind a decoy.
  Herdazian Soldier: He does this sometimes, Brightlord.
  Kaladin: Does what? Turns into rags?
• Syl's Kaladin impression:
  Syl: Well well. Grumble grumble. Get in line, men. Storming rain, ruining otherwise terrible weather. Also, I’m banning toes.
  Kaladin: Toes?
  Syl: People keep tripping! I can’t have you all hurting yourselves. So, no toes from now on. Next week we’ll try not having feet. Now, go off and get some food. Tomorrow we’re going to get up before dawn to practice scowling at one another.
• Hesina's ability to seek out the current gossip:
  Hesina: So, how is Lyn?
  Kaladin: Does that always have to be your first question?
  Syl: She broke up with him. Right after our last visit.
  Hesina: Oh, Kaladin. How's he taking it?
  Syl: He sulked for a good two weeks, but I think he's mostly over it.
  Kaladin: He's right here.
  Hesina: And he doesn't ever answer questions about his personal life, forcing his poor mother to turn to other, more divine sources.
  Syl: See, she knows how to treat me. With the dignity and respect I deserve.
  Hesina: Has he been disrespecting you again, Syl?
  Syl: It's been at least a day since he mentioned how great I am.
  Kaladin: It's demonstrably unfair that I have to deal with both of you at once.

Chapter 4

• Veil detailing her con to dupe the Sons of Honor in her head. She created a fake illusion-detector, disguised herself as a mystic old woman and used a fellow Lightweaver as a "victim" to prove that it worked, price-gouged them (which only made them even more convinced that her artifact worked), and spent almost the entire time being interrogated/initiated by the Sons of Honor laughing about it.
• Shallan wonders about where the Sons of Honor got their robes from. She pictures them telling the seamstress, "Yes, we want twenty identical, mysterious robes, sewn with ancient arcane symbols. They're for ... parties."

Chapter 12

• Veil and Adolin have been responsible for trying to set up Kaladin with women around Urithiru, and Kaladin is half-annoyed, half-amused at this fact.
• Veil keeps pestering Adolin for details on his old conquests, specifically how certain assets of one particular woman felt. He doesn't want to share, because she's kind-of-not-quite his wife.
  Kaladin: You two have the strangest relationship.
  Adolin: (gives a look that says "you have no idea'')
• Pattern is still unclear on how sex actually works, so Veil tells him to ask Shallan about it.

Chapter 15

• In the middle of an important discussion about the nature of the Cosmere and in particular Zahel's immortal place in it, we get this gem:
  Kaladin: I don't know what any of that meant, but thanks for replying. Wit never gives me answers. At least not straight ones.
  Zahel: That's because Wit is an asshole.

Chapter 21

• Adolin shows up to Kaladin's father's clinic to discover that it is swarmed with young women, but he's allowed through to speak to Kaladin. Kaladin complains about how many young women are turning up to get a peek at him. Adolin muses that it's probably because Kaladin is now the most eligible bachelor in Urithiru, and he'd be surprised if half the young women in the kingdom didn't suddenly come down with headaches. Then he realizes it's already happened and Kaladin hadn't actually put together why so many women were coming to him with minor ailments until that very moment.
  "You can be deliciously naive sometimes, Kal," Adolin said. "You need to use this angle. Work it."
  "That would betray the ethics of the surgeon-patient relationship," Kaladin said, closing the door—preventing Adolin from counting the suspiciously well-dressed young women in the waiting room.
• Later on, Godeke the Edgedancer asks Adolin why he has so many swords strapped to Gallant. Adolin then starts going on a lengthy explanation of every one of the dozen swords and other weapons he's bringing on their trip to Shadesmar. When Godeke finally manages to get away from Adolin, the prince then calls over his grooms to bring even more weapons to put on Gallant's saddle. He's not going into Shadesmar with just a harpoon and a knife this time.
  • He ends up using one of them. One.

Chapter 22

• As Adolin and Shallan are traveling though Shadesmar, Adolin puts his arm around her. They start talking as they walk, only for Pattern to suddenly come up behind them and hug them both.
  Pattern: Mmm... I like having arms.

Chapter 24

• At the beginning of the chapter there is a series of sketches done by Shallan about the Cryptics, depicting them in their dignified, glassy robes and also showing their odd, bony hands and feet. At the very bottom of the page, Shallan notes that she hasn't seen any Cryptics actually running, but she thinks it would be "very silly," and then she draws a hilariously ridiculous sketch depicting how she thinks they run.
• Veil's attempts to get Shallan to talk to her and Radiant. She grabs a notebook and paper and starts drawing (and Veil is horrible at drawing). However, her subject is Adolin, and it's intentionally bad. Shallan knows what she's up to and doesn't bite. Veil gives him a unibrow, then wall-eyes, and then finally makes him unfashionable (wearing cut-off shorts!) before Shallan gives in.
• Shallan confesses to Adolin about having tried to rob Jasnah when they first came together. Rather than be upset, Adolin finds the idea that she tried to rob Jasnah completely hilarious, and they agree that she probably hasn’t mentioned it because it nearly worked, out of shame for having been fooled for so long. Adolin notes that Shallan may have been able to fool a normal person, but not Jasnah Kholin.

Chapter 34

• Adolin is telling Shallan about an old flame of his, when he was much younger. She was apparently 14, a bit older than Adolin at the time, and rather "well put together" for her age. She spent time dropping hints about wanting to see how Adolin could use his "sword". The innuendo went right over younger Adolin's head, and he bought her an actual sword as a gift.
  • Shallan's response is... not much better.
    Shallan: What is a girl going to do with a sword? A real one, mind you. This conversation could quickly get off track...

Interlude I- 5

• Everyone has caught on to Lift’s shtick and have started going as far as deliberately leaving food out for her to steal. This ends up annoying Lift, and she spends a good chunk of the interlude acting like an edgy brooding teenager. Which, being 13 now, she actually is.

Chapter 47

• Nale is in the middle of a grand proclamation of Dalinar going about an unjust war when Cord shoots him in the face with a Shardbow. Rather than be horrified, given the rapid healing abilities of Radiants in general, Dalinar seems more mildly annoyed at the interruption and tells Cord not to fire again.

Chapter 50

• Wit gets many good lines in this chapter, but possibly one of the best lines in fiction is:
  Wit: "How remarkable," he said. "If you spend your life knocking people down, you eventully find they won't stand up for you. There's poetry in that, don't you think, you storming personification of a cancerous anal discharge?"

Chapter 61

• Presumably in preparation for their conflict, Odium has instructed that his most intelligent and trustworthy Fused scour Urithiru for any information on Dalinar Kholin... including meticulously itemizing and cataloguing his socks.

Chapter 78

• Adolin has to learn honorspren law under the tutelage of an inkspren named Blended. Unfortunately, honorspren law is bizarre.
  Adolin: It seems designed to be frustrating.
  Blended: Yes. This is unsurprising, as it was devised by a stuck-up bunch of prim, overly polished buttons.

Chapter 80

• Half of the chapter is heartwarming, as Wit gives Kaladin a desperate breath of fresh air in the middle of the nightmares Odium is giving him. The other half is hilarious.
  • Kaladin asks Wit for a story. Wit is absolutely gobsmacked with delight; no one ever asks him for a story.
  • The story is called "The Dog and the Dragon." Kaladin, of course, doesn't know what either of those things are, and Wit takes a moment to once again complain about Rosharan ecology.
    Wit: You can't know any of this, because you live on a giant ball of rock full of slime where everything is wet and cold all the time.
  • Wit's Cryptic, Design, happily reveals Wit's tricks and spoils the ending of his story. Wit is not amused.
    Wit: I have bonded a literal monster.
  • In the middle of illustrating his story with Lightweaving, Wit complains that this version of the magic almost seems too easy.
  • When Kaladin points out that Wit's stories always have a point, Wit pretends to be offended at the mere idea of art having any meaning.
    Wit: I should thank you not to demean me by insisting my art must be trying to accomplish something. In fact, you shouldn't enjoy art. You should simply admit that it exists, then move on. Anything else is patronizing.
  • Pretty much everything involving Design, because she's a Cryptic who is just as (intentionally) annoying as Wit, and he clearly can't stand having an equal in that department.
  • With Pattern there are few subtle jokes and consistent references to Cryptics being associated with various bits of numbers and math throughout the series. When it comes to this chapter and Design the number puns get more blatant than usual.
    Design: I'm real… Not imaginary at all. Unfortunately I am irrational.

Chapter 103

• A mix of heartwarming and funny as Lift asks what took Kaladin so long to show up. Teft responds, "Boy likes to grandstand," before admitting that Kaladin is inspiring.

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