"You can always trust Gadgetron quality!"
Early-Installment Weirdness and Ratchet's Jerkass personality aside, Ratchet and Clank's first adventure still has plenty of comedy under its belt to last you for long enough.
As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.
- Ratchet and Clank's very first interaction (and lines of dialogue). Ratchet has found the little robot's unconscious body and taken it back to his garage as he continues to work on his ship. Clank then wakes up and approaches the poor lombax from behind to compliment his handiwork, spooking the living tar out of Ratchet and causing him to fall over.Clank: Interesting...
Ratchet: YIPE!
Clank: You're quite handy with your wrench. - While Drek's first appearance where he politely explains how he's going to build his own planet by taking fragments from others isn't very humorous for most of it, the ending is a slapper.Drek: Thank you for your cooperation.
Director: Cut!
Drek: And if you don't like it, you can take your whiny, sniveling, snot-nosed populations, form a line behind me, and kiss my—! [realizes that the video hasn't ended] We're still on? Well, turn it off, you idiot! - "Look, the plumber's back."
- The cutscene that introduces Captain Qwark; it starts as this black-and-white movie with Qwark facing down some monster only for his ray gun to short out. Just before the monster eats Qwark, the scene freezes, and we cut to color as Qwark delivers a shamelessly cheery promotion for Al's Robo-Shack, hogging the camera and not letting Al get in a word edgewise.Qwark: Has this ever happened to you? Hi, I'm Captain Qwark, and believe me, there's nothing worse than staring down a Blargian Snagglebeast from the inside and knowing your equipment isn't functioning properly. That's why I come to Al's Robo-Shack for all my electronic needs. Al has been the exclusive repairman for my super-electro gadgets since I was knee-high to a sand mouse. If Al can't fix it, it's not broke! Right, Al?
Al: Uh-
Qwark: You said it, pal! So if you're fighting crime, or just fighting grime- Heh heh -come to Al's Robo-Shack in Metropolis for all your robotic repairs. Al's Robo-Shack! It's Qwark-tastic!
Clank: Do you know what this means?
Ratchet: Yeah, Captain Qwark has really sold out! - This famous exchange when Ratchet and Clank encounter a Captain Qwark fitness-training robot:Clank: Excuse me, Captain, but we have more pressing issues. We urgently need your assistance.
Ratchet: ...Clank?
Clank: Yes?
Ratchet: Do you notice anything unusual about Captain Qwark?
Clank: Well, I find the fact that he has a spring where his legs should be to be quite puzzling.
Ratchet: And why do you think that is?
Clank: Possibly an injury incurred while battling evil?
Ratchet: (laughing) This isn't the real Captain Qwark, you numbskull! It's a robot!
Clank: (disappointedly) Oh. - "This ship will now self-destruct. Have a nice day."
- When Ratchet and Clank finally find Captain Qwark's trailer, the last obstacle they have to deal with before finding the captain is his bouncer, who completely misunderstands their reason for meeting him:Bouncer: I know how it works. You convince me to let you in. You snap a picture of the captain in his underpants—
Ratchet: Underpants?
Bouncer: —then you sell the picture to the info-tabloid for a million bolts!
Ratchet: You've got it all wrong!
Bouncer: Meanwhile, I'm stuck here making 6 bolts an hour, and I have to listen to a lecture from that cheapskate Qwark! So you don't get in unless I get a kickback... in advance. - The infobot for Qwark's headquarters, where the captain tries and fails to say "can you quickly conquer Qwark's killer candidate of confounded contraptions?" multiple times before giving up and going "Just make your way through the defenses to the center of the base!"
- When Ratchet and Clank finally arrive:Qwark: Welcome to my challenge course. Now is your chance to prove yourself strong and brave! (Like me.) Conquer it, and you'll join in my fight against evil!
Ratchet: Haven't we done enough already?!
Qwark: What? I can't hear you!
Ratchet: I SAID, "HAVEN'T... WE... DONE..."?!
Qwark: Sorry, still having trouble! Tell me later!
Ratchet: "LATER"?! WE MIGHT BE DEAD BY THEN!
Qwark: WHAAAT?
Ratchet: ...All right, Clank, let's get going.
- When Ratchet and Clank finally arrive:
- The infobot for Blarg Depot on Gaspar. The scene presenting it has a scientist and pilot presenting the progress of their work to the Big Bad. Cut to the pilot and plane starting, then flying and crashing backwards.
- The cutscene introducing the Persuader:Inventor: You will find Raritaaanium for meee...
Ratchet: No, I will noooooot... (twinkles his fingers mockingly)
Inventor: Piece of junk! - The "Steve McQwark" cutscene, showing just how rock bottom Qwark has fallen after being defeated by Ratchet:Ratchet: Come on, Qwark. I know it's you!
Qwark: Uh, the name's... Steve. Pleased to meet you.
Ratchet: Look, "Steve", I need to know where Drek is before it's too late!
Qwark: (woodenly reading from a script) Did you say "too late"? Sir. It is never too late to acquire the latest in the long line of quality products from Gadgetron. I have for you, today only, the Gadgetron PDA.
Ratchet: "Public display of affection?"
Qwark: No, no, no, Personal Delivery Assistant! This device allows you to purchase ammunition wherever and whenever you want it.
Ratchet: Yeah? How do I know it works?
Qwark: You can always trust Gadgetron quality! Or my name's not... Steve. - With the Hologuise, you can disguise yourself as a robot and do all the robot stuff you've ever wanted to do: match your wits against other robots, work on robotic assembly lines, and attend robot parties!Ratchet: If I can get that thing, I'll be able to get past those robot guards!
Clank: Robots are not so easily fooled.
Ratchet: (points) AH! What's that?
Clank: (looks) What?!
Ratchet: Uh-huh. - The first phase of the final boss battle against Chairman Drek has Clank engage him as Giant Clank. Drek then shoots Clank with a ray that turns him back to his normal size... with the now-much-larger Ratchet still riding on his back, leading Clank to wobble back and forth before the two collapse backwards onto the floor.
- The Stinger of the game, where Captain Qw—uh, Steve McQwark... makes his squick-tastic return to commercials with... the Gadgetron Personal Hygienator!Qwark: Do you have a problem with unwanted hair? Is painful itching in your nether regions causing you undue embarrassment? (Stage whisper) Do you just plain stink? (Normal tone) Then you need this! The Gadgetron Personal Hygienator! Hi, I'm Steve...McQwark...a-and this little baby can take care of any grooming needs that are just too much trouble for you to handle yourself! (Zoom out to show Ratchet and Clank are watching Qwark on their TV) Allow me to demonstrate!
(Cut to Ratchet and Clank reacting with disgust at Qwark's- thankfully offscreen -demonstration)
Ratchet: (to Clank) TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
(Clank fumbles with the remote for a moment, before pointing it at the viewer which causes the screen to close out) - Some of the mission descriptions can also get a chuckle or two out of you:(Locate Skid McMarx) "That distress signal indicated that Skid McMarx ejected from his doomed ship. If he were still alive, it would probably be worth finding him. Maybe you could get an autograph…"
