Funny / Proven Guilty

  • Harry quoting the Dukes of Hazzard after getting into a wreck that requires him to climb out the side of the Beetle.
  • Harry kicks down a door, ready for a fight, and shouts, "And I'm all out of bubblegum!". Naturally, there's nobody there.
  • Harry asks why Charity and Molly are so at odds with each other.
    Michael: Molly was arrested. Possession.
    Harry: She was possessed?
    Michael: [sighs] Possession. Marijuana and Ecstasy. She was at a party and the police raided it. She was caught holding them.
    • The best part is, knowing Harry's life, his assumption makes perfect sense.
  • While at SPLATTERCON!!! Harry and Rawlins have to get those name tags that read "Hello! I'm...". Since the printer is broken, they can write in whatever they want. Harry writes in "An Innocent Bystander". Rawlins writes "An Authority Figure".
  • Bob's reaction to Molly showing up at Harry's door to shower. Giddy doesn't even begin to cover it. Made even funnier in the audiobooks, where James Marsters' giddy Bob voice is absolutely hilarious.
    • And once Harry shuts Bob in a drawer to shut him up, Lash shows up in a mirror and adds that he's got a point.
    • A few minutes later, Molly's mother shows up at the door. With a priest. Naturally, this is the exact moment Molly walks out in nothing but a towel. Cue Megaton Punch from Charity.
  • Also in the audiobooks, whenever SPLATTERCON!!! is mentioned, James Marsters says, "Splattercon, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point," in a somewhat deadpan voice.
  • "Get away from her, you bitch!"
  • Harry gets captured by a second string vampire, who... puts him up for sale on eBay.
    Crane: Start building more tax shelters, Glau. This is going rather well.
    Harry: Yeah? So who's going to pony up for one Harry Dresden, slightly used?
  • When Charity is introduced to Thomas, she fixes him with a steady stare and says levelly, "You're the White Court vampire who took my husband to that strip bar."
  • When the team are gearing up to go into the Nevernever, Murphy asks who else he is bringing for help, to which Harry is evasive, pissing her off.
    Murphy: You're enjoying this. You just love to dance around questions and spring surprises when you know something the rest of us don't.
    Harry: It's like heroin for wizards.
  • Harry & company are about to raid a Winter stronghold, only to find that someone else has already kicked in the front door and wrecked half the place. Murphy asks who would have the juice to do that, and Harry has no idea.
  • Harry's response to learning just how many Winter fae are coming to kill him.
    Lea: You summoned forth the power of Summer here in Arctis Tor, in the heart of all Winter. When you did so, those of Winter felt the agony of it. And now they come to slay you or drive you forth.
    Harry: Uh. How many of them?
    Lea: Why, all of Winter, child. All of us.
    Harry: Crap.
  • Molly explaining to Harry that she's "explored" to which Harry replies, "Well, Magellan...."
  • One of the greatest Wrong Genre Savvy moments of the series: A vampire gloats on how he's going to get away with his murderous crimes because Harry would never dare break "the rules" of the The Masquerade and reveal the existence of the supernatural to real humans. Harry's response is to point out he's in the phone book under "Wizards."