Funny / Porky's

  • The aftermath of Tommy Turner narrowly escaping Ballbricker. There's a follow up to it, where Ballbricker tries, as calmly as possible, to tell the principal, Mr. Carter, to set up a police lineup style drill of every teenage boy in the school to show up nude so she can identify the penis that she saw in the girl's locker room. All three coaches, starting with Brackett, are struggling not to laugh, while Carter is obviously uncomfortable. Brackett kills it entirely with his "better idea", while his own laughter is practically killing him, leaving only his hand seen as the rest of him is falling over. After finishing his idea, Carter laughs along with them, causing Balbricker to leave in anger while they laugh.
    Coach Brackett: Mr. Carter, I think I have a way out of this. We, uh, call the police, and we have 'em send over one of their sketch artists. And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up "Wanted" posters all over school... "Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School."
    • Even Ike thinks it's funny.
    • "A police line-up... so that can you can identify his tallywhacker? Can we please call it a tallywhacker? 'Penis' is just so... personal!"
  • Coach Brackett's and Miss Honeywell's sub plot. Coach laments pining over her to Warren and he affectionately refers to her as Lassie, much to Brackett's confusion. When he presses further on the matter, all Warren does is howl like a dog and tell him to take her to the boys' locker room. Everytime Brackett tries to at least talk to her, he's cock blocked by Ballbricker. When Honeywell has enough of it, she tells off Ballbricker once and for all, to which Ballbricker snaps back by threatening to have her fired. Much to her anger and Brackett's glee, Honeywell takes him to the boys' locker room, where she is over stimulated by all the equipment and practically jumps on Brackett. During sex, Brackett finally asks why Honeywell is called Lassie, to which she doesn't know. Then, in the heat of passion, she lets out an orgasmic scream that the entire gymnasium can hear. Ballbricker is obviously pissed and complains to Coach Goodenough, while Warren, in a look of both pride and insanity, has to hide behind a gym-mat so he can laugh in private.