- The Celestials telling
Machine Man Aaron Stack exactly what they think of him. Complete with "L-for-loser" hand sign.
- FIN FANG FOOM!
FIN FANG FOOM!
Has been burning with the need to mate since 1956!
FIN FANG FOOM!
Has absolutely no genitals whatsoever!
FIN FANG FOOM!
Oh, you cannot imagine how annoyed he is.
- A giant red dinosaur in a smoking jacket holding a revolver and a glass of champagne◊.
- "I fire you with bullets now."
- "Monica Rambeau, leader of the Nextwave squad, lies all the time."
- A Take That aimed at a certain scene from The Ultimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS € ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"
- "Oh my god. They explode! My life has taken on new meaning."
- Dread Rorkannu shows us how to keep a poker face while negotiating.
Yes! I HAVE A HUNDRED OF THE EARTH DOLLARS! Ahem. Your offer is acceptable.
And the girls. I like those "Suicide Girls." On the website. The girls with tattoos and piercings. I like those. No blondes.
- This little exchange:
Tabby: (kicking a cop) I hate cops! Because, like, cops keep arresting me and stuff? For stealing? Like stealing's a crime or something?"
Aaron: Hey! What's going on?
Tabby: He's a cop, Aaron!
Aaron: (joins in the kicking) Cops — the most annoying fleshy ones of all!
- "The little guy did something to your heads. I gave him the explodo because I am clever."
- "Widdle cuddly bears...of death? AAAAAAAAAAA! DEATH BEARS!"
Aaron (with a smug look, and a drop bear on his head that has shattered teeth): "Ha. Fear my robot head."
- "ZOMG! There are French people in Canada? That's like, right next door! OH NOES!"
- Made better when you realize that she didn't say "Zee Oh Em Gee", she said "Zom-guh".
- Whaat, who pronounces it like an abbreviation? The Z doesn't even stand for anything. . .
- The title to the second trade paperback: I Kick Your Face.
- Pretty much the whole book is Made of Win. Go and read it already.
- It even has a theme song:
Monica! Is gonna microwave your [bleep]!
Tabby! Is going to steal all your stuff!
Aaron! Is going to organise your sock drawer.
Elsa! Is gonna speak with an accent!
The Captain! His name is the Captain!
- Dirk Anger. Whenever he is on a panel, hilarity ensues. The guy is a walking, talking, dress-wearing, pill-stuffed ice-cream chugging Crowning Moment of Funny.
Dirk Anger: So you're the fresh fish, huh? New H.A.T.E. trainees, wondering if you're going to make the grade as full agents. You know who I am? I'm Dirk Anger, director of H.A.T.E. I've been director of H.A.T.E. for longer than you've been alive. Except maybe you. You look kinda old.
Recruit: I'm thirty, sir.
Dirk Anger: Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In New Jersey! For H.A.T.E.!
- The sad fate of Father Blood Drench Robo Crush.
- The Captain's origin story. First, his discovery that all the good Captain names were taken; then, his short run of going by Captain ☠☠☠☠, which ended when he introduced himself as such to Captain America. (Who then beat seven kinds of it out of The Captain and left him in a dumpster with a bar of soap in his mouth.)
- Fighting the Mindless Ones.
- More meta, but the Wikipedia page for Dirk Anger is hilarious, if only because it tries to summarize the character's traits and participation in the series with complete seriousness.
- The series of around six consecutive splash pages in the penultimate issue. The last image is captioned as such:
Nextwave: Blatantly wasting your money since 2006.
- "Special bear?" "Special bear is dead."
- Two words: Elvis M.O.D.O.K.s.
- The Reveal of who exactly is behind everything. Devil Dinosaur, who for no adequately explainable reason is wearing a smoking jacket and holding a glass of chianti.
Devil Dinosaur: Moon Boy hated me. Moon Boy had to die. Moon Boy tasted bad and gave me considerable intestinal distress.
- After Steve Rogers is turned into Captain America, two scientists give him advice for impressing Franklin D Roosevelt in his presentation. One suggests lifting something heavy. The other suggests standing up.
- Forbush Man is easily able to disable the entire team with disorienting and cruel visions of other lives. One exception - Tabby, who is stated to have no brain to manipulate. She promptly blows him up, and claims she did it because she's smart.