Aaron (With a smug look, and a drop bear on his head that has shattered teeth): "Ha. Fear my robot head."
"ZOMG! There are French people in Canada? That's like, right next door! OH NOES!"
Made better when you realize that she didn't say "Zee Oh Em Gee", she said "Zom-guh".
Whaat, who pronounces it like an abbreviation? The Z doesn't even stand for anything. . .
The title to the second trade paperback: I Kick Your Face.
Pretty much the whole book is Made of Win. Go and read it already.
It even has a theme song:
Monica! Is gonna microwave your [bleep]! Tabby! Is going to steal all your stuff! Aaron! Is going to organise your sock drawer. Elsa! Is gonna speak with an accent! The Captain! His name is the Captain!
Dirk Anger: So you're the fresh fish, huh? New H.A.T.E. trainees, wondering if you're going to make the grade as full agents. You know who I am? I'm Dirk Anger, director of H.A.T.E. I've been director of H.A.T.E. for longer than you've been alive. Except maybe you. You look kinda old.
Recruit: I'm thirty, sir.
Dirk Anger: Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In New Jersey! For H.A.T.E.!
The Captain's origin story. First, his discovery that all the good Captain names were taken; then, his short run of going by Captain ☠☠☠☠, which ended when he introduced himself as such to Captain America. (Who then beat seven kinds of it out of The Captain and left him in a dumpster with a bar of soap in his mouth.)