Funny: Nextwave

  • The Celestials telling Machine Man Aaron Stack exactly what they think of him. Complete with "L-for-loser" hand sign.
    Has been burning with the need to mate since 1956!
    Has absolutely no genitals whatsoever!
    Oh, you cannot imagine how annoyed he is.
  • A giant red dinosaur in a smoking jacket holding a revolver and a glass of champagne.
  • "I fire you with bullets now."
  • "Monica Rambeau, leader of the Nextwave squad, lies all the time."
  • A Take That aimed at a certain scene from The Ultimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"
  • "Oh my god. They explode! My life has taken on new meaning."
  • Dread Rorkannu shows us how to keep a poker face while negotiating.
    Yes! I HAVE A HUNDRED OF THE EARTH DOLLARS! Ahem. Your offer is acceptable.
    And the girls. I like those "Suicide Girls." On the website. The girls with tattoos and piercings. I like those. No blondes.
  • This little exchange:
    Tabby: (kicking a cop) I hate cops! Because, like, cops keep arresting me and stuff? For stealing? Like stealing's a crime or something?"
    Aaron: Hey! What's going on?
    Tabby: He's a cop, Aaron!
    Aaron: (joins in the kicking) Cops — the most annoying fleshy ones of all!
  • "The little guy did something to your heads. I gave him the explodo because I am clever."
  • "Widdle cuddly bears...of death? AAAAAAAAAAA! DEATH BEARS!"
    Aaron (with a smug look, and a drop bear on his head that has shattered teeth): "Ha. Fear my robot head."
  • "ZOMG! There are French people in Canada? That's like, right next door! OH NOES!"
    • Made better when you realize that she didn't say "Zee Oh Em Gee", she said "Zom-guh".
      • Whaat, who pronounces it like an abbreviation? The Z doesn't even stand for anything. . .
  • The title to the second trade paperback: I Kick Your Face.
    • Pretty much the whole book is Made of Win. Go and read it already.
    • It even has a theme song:
    Monica! Is gonna microwave your [bleep]!
    Tabby! Is going to steal all your stuff!
    Aaron! Is going to organise your sock drawer.
    Elsa! Is gonna speak with an accent!
    The Captain! His name is the Captain!
  • Dirk Anger. Whenever he is on a panel, hilarity ensues. The guy is a walking, talking, dress-wearing, pill-stuffed ice-cream chugging Crowning Moment of Funny.
    Dirk Anger: So you're the fresh fish, huh? New H.A.T.E. trainees, wondering if you're going to make the grade as full agents. You know who I am? I'm Dirk Anger, director of H.A.T.E. I've been director of H.A.T.E. for longer than you've been alive. Except maybe you. You look kinda old.
    Recruit: I'm thirty, sir.
    Dirk Anger: Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In New Jersey! For H.A.T.E.!
  • The sad fate of Father Blood Drench Robo Crush.
  • The Captain's origin story. First, his discovery that all the good Captain names were taken; then, his short run of going by Captain ☠☠☠☠, which ended when he introduced himself as such to Captain America. (Who then beat seven kinds of it out of The Captain and left him in a dumpster with a bar of soap in his mouth.)
  • Fighting the Mindless Ones.
  • More meta, but the Wikipedia page for Dirk Anger is hilarious, if only because it tries to summarize the character's traits and participation in the series with complete seriousness.
  • The series of around six consecutive splash pages in the penultimate issue. The last image is captioned as such:
    Nextwave: Blatantly wasting your money since 2006.
  • "Special bear?" "Special bear is dead."
  • Two words: Elvis M.O.D.O.K.s.
  • The Reveal of who exactly is behind everything. Devil Dinosaur, who for no adequately explainable reason is wearing a smoking jacket and holding a glass of chianti.
    Devil Dinosaur: Moon Boy hated me. Moon Boy had to die. Moon Boy tasted bad and gave me considerable intestinal distress.
  • After Steve Rogers is turned into Captain America, two scientists give him advice for impressing Franklin D Roosevelt in his presentation. One suggests lifting something heavy. The other suggests standing up.
  • Forbush Man is easily able to disable the entire team with disorienting and cruel visions of other lives. One exception - Tabby, who is stated to have no brain to manipulate. She promptly blows him up, and claims she did it because she's smart.