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Funny: New Jedi Order
  • In Vector Prime, the first book, Lando is up to his old tricks: he doesn't just own a mining operation, but he's found a way to bring in tourism. In this case, it's asteroid mining, and he's put get together a special course—if you want, you can pilot a TIE Advanced (think Vader's personal fighter) with super-strong shields through the asteroid field to see how long you last before you run into one. Jacen tries, and gets a decent time. Then Anakin—who does better, but his run ends with such a violent collision that, despite the shields holding, people are momentarily worried he's actually been hurt. He's not, though...just feeling a little green.
    "You beat Jacen."
    "I don't care."
  • To add a bit of context, the main page quote comes from a vast gathering of all the Vong castes upon Yuuzhan'tar, formerly Coruscant. Each of the castes recites their battle cry. The intendant (i.e. bureaucrat) caste, to which Nom Anor belongs, doesn't have one, but if they did...
    • Well? Have you triple-checked the order with your superiors?
  • Han's assessment of what the Empire would have done against the Yuuzhan Vong if the Rebels hadn't defeated them.
    "What the Empire would have done was build a super-colossal Yuuzhan Vong–killing battle machine. They would have called it the Nova Colossus or the Galaxy Destructor or the Nostril of Palpatine or something equally grandiose. They would have spent billions of credits, employed thousands of contractors and subcontractors, and equipped it with the latest in death-dealing technology. And you know what would have happened? It wouldn't have worked. They'd forget to bolt down a metal plate over an access hatch leading to the main reactors, or some other mistake, and a hotshot enemy pilot would drop a bomb down there and blow the whole thing up. Now that's what the Empire would have done."
  • The Enemy Lines duology was written by Aaron Allston, so naturally it has quite a few funny moments.
    • Face Loran asking Mara Jade to give him a kiss for luck, while both are in the guise of Yuuzhan Vong warriors? Amusing. Face Loran then turning to Luke and asking him for a kiss? Hilarious.
    • Wes Janson flirting with the leader of Twin Suns squadron...only to find later that he'd been flirting with Jaina Solo, a pilot young enough to be his daughter.
    • Luke taking a dip in a devourer tank. To anyone else it would be a lethal mistake, but Luke was able to survive it by thinking "I am not food" at the microorganic goo very insistently. However...
    Luke: I guess I forgot to tell the stuff, "my clothes aren't food, either".
    • Artoo is programmed to insult anyone around him. Either Artoo or whoever programmed him is very creative with the insults he uses.
    R2-D2: [upon being asked for his name] That's none of your business. In any case, your facial feature set suggests that you do not have the intelligence to retain my name for more than a nanosecond. It is evident that you have been taught to repeat sounds that you have heard and that you understand neither the words you hear nor the ones that emerge from your mouth.
Nero WolfeFunny/LiteratureA Night in the Lonesome October

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