Funny / Movie Fights

• "Ultimate Game of Thrones Spin-Off Movie":
  • Nick's argument for the titular fight: an animated film about Ser Pounce and the other animals of Westeros
    • After he got married, his wife Dilara animated a short version similar to this, titled "Grr of Thrones", in which (in a scene resembling the end of the pilot episode of Game of Thrones) Bran Stark (in the form of a cat) climbs a tower in Winterfell to find siblings Jaime and Cersei Lanister (also as cats) licking each other's faces. Jaime again pushes Bran out. However, Bran, being a cat, lands on his feet and is okay.
• "Best Animated Sequel?'
  • "You're doomed to be haunted by one movie ghost, who do you pick?" is perhaps the most crass moment in Movie Fights history, as the fighters (and Andy and Dan) begin to fight less about the question and more over how the "Blowjob Ghost" from Ghostbusters (1984) would physically work and how a sexual relationship with a wraith would affect one's psyche.
    Hal: Wearing that jacket and getting those bjs from that ghost will turn you into a freak. You're gonna be a closet ghost freak. A monster, a denizen of the fetish community. Have fun in your dungeons and your weird conventions. Good luck going to the occult store to get your ghost Viagra so you can get it up with your weird ghost.
  • Hal's argument is pretty amusing, too: he suggests Eva Longoria's character from Over Her Dead Body, asserting that, much like the film she's from, she'd be so dull you'd be able to ignore her with ease.
• "Which Superhero Would You Want To Be" (Last Fighter Standing):
  • Scott Mantz answers the question of "Which Sylvester Stallone movie would work better if you replaced him with Arnold Schwarzenegger?" with Rocky. Cue immediate outcry from not just the fighters at the table (which includes an enraged Dan and Rocky super-fan JTE) but everyone in the studio for the agreed-upon crime against cinema of taking Stallone out of the franchise he defined.
    • Andy's ruling on this is also hilarious, as he at first says with complete seriousness that he was impressed with some of Scott's points and that he's safe (resulting in several audible gasps from the audience) before brushing him aside as completely nuts.
  • "If you could punch one actor in the face, who would it be?" Dan interprets the question as solely looking at the actor's careers and argues that Edward Norton needs a Get A Hold Of Yourself Man-style punch after his diva tendencies led him to lose his lucrative role as the Hulk in the Marvel Cinematic Universe to Mark Ruffalo. JTE and Hal, on the other hand, both interpreted the question as "Which actor is the biggest Jerkass Karma Houdini?" and pick OJ Simpson and Bill Cosby, resulting in Dan desperately having to make a quasi-legal case defending both men from violent retribution for their crimes based on their constitutional rights, all with a constant look of horror on his face. He narrowly avoids elimination because of his efforts.
• "Worst MCU Villain to Date?", a.k.a. Drunk Movie Fights with Dan, Ken, and Spencer. The rules of their drinking game is to drink every time Dan gets grumpy, Ken self-deprecates, Spencer is smug, or Andy is loud/says "This is tough". They are utterly smashed by the first round.
  • "Best movie to Netflix and Chill to" may be the most hilarious fight in the history of the podcast.
    • Ken chooses The 40-Year-Old Virgin because, in his own words, "While I've had sexual relations, I also own a lot of Star Wars toys," and he believes that the movie may serve as inspiration to his partner to view him more favorably. When his opponents point out the partner might actually want to watch a good, funny film, he responds that "If you can make a woman laugh, you can also make her... cum," sending everyone into complete hysterics.
    • Dan chooses The English Patient under the assumption that it is the ultimate Oscar Bait pretense movie that will quickly be ignored by both parties in favor of each other.
    • Spencer, who is already out of the running at this point, selects March of the Penguins for similar reasons to Dan, with the addition of the embrace-encouraging icy setting and the dulcet tones of Morgan Freeman. However, a few poor, drink-induced choices of words by Spencer unfortunately lead Dan and Ken to accuse him of having a penguin fetish.
  • The final Speed Round question is who is the hottest celebrity alive. Dan savagely tears apart Ken's nostalgic and strangely sad argument for Brad Pitt, but Andy was so impressed that Ken was able to seemingly remember Pitt's exact age despite being too drunk to stand that he decided to just give him the win if he was correct. He was.
• "Pitch the 1990s Avengers!", a.k.a. Weird Movie Fights, featuring the mad genius of Nick, Joe Starr, and Mike (wearing a cockroach costume) answering the strangest fan-submitted questions, is this from start to finish.
  • The title fight: Some highlights include Shaq as Hulk, Michael Jackson as Nick Fury, and Pauly Shore as Hawkeye.
  • "Pitch a fast food franchise as a movie franchise": a Wendys-themed gritty revenge thriller, a Fifty Shades of Grey-style erotic thriller starring Jack (from the box), and the origin story of Munch's Make Believe Band from Chuck E. Cheese.
  • "Who should be Helen Mirren's love interest in Furious 8?" The question is enough.
  • "What 1995-6 role would have been better with The Rock?" Dragonheart, Jack, and Showgirls.
  • "Pitch Cars 6": Carmaggedon (a Mad Max parody), Civil Wheels: Dodge of Justice (a Captain America: Civil War/Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice parody), and The New World (where the cars and their car children, with the help of a talking DeLorean, have to travel through dimensions to rescue Mater from Elon Musk).
    • The suggested pitches for the missing three films in the franchise are gems themselves, including a Space Jam parody (complete with a car voiced by Michael Jordan), a spiritual road trip film featuring the wise Grand Cherokee, Cars 5: It's Basically the First Cars but The Rock Is In It This Time, another erotic thriller, and a time travel saga where they save Kennedy's limo from being shot and go back to the creation of the universe.
  • "Which two movie characters would have the best sex scene?", featuring Mecha-Godzilla and the Megazord.
  • "Which movie would be better with a scene featuring someone playing saxophone in the rain?" might be the strangest non-Speed Round question ever.
  • Each of the Speed Round questions: "Who should direct the "Chewbacca Mom" movie?", "Which actor would you like to eat (and with which wine)?", and "Make a movie better with Larry the Cable Guy."
• The first 2017 Movie Fights, i.e. "Best Movie of 2016", has Scott Mantz displaying an excessive love for La La Land. When Marc Andreyko calls it the most overrated movie of the year, Scott was clearly agitated, and was flailing around the whole time Marc was presenting his initial pitch, bringing everyone else on the set into fits of giggles.
• In the last round of "Star Wars vs Star Trek!" Andy sprung a trick question on Scott Mantz and John Rocha, making them argue against their picks for best movie of 2016. Watching the sheer pain Scott Mantz was in while having to argue that Moonlight (2016) is a better movie than La La Land is simply hilarious. Dan Murrell actually calls Andy a sadist for letting it go for as long as it did.
• The first round of the "What Superhero Should Return When They're Old?" episode, Andy asks the contestants to improve a movie by adding King Kong in it. Spencer Gilbert pitches for The Lost World: Jurassic Park, and says that Kong should replace Julianne Moore as Jeff Goldblum's girlfriend. The debate briefly derailed into a hilarious discussion about Bestiality and the size of King Kong's genitalia.
• In the "Best Movie of the 80s" episode, Sasha Perl-Raver has picked A Christmas Story as a mediocre 80s film aided by nostalgia. She then references the obscure sequel It Runs in the Family (1994), and how most people won't know what it is. Marc Andreyko pipes up, however, that he was in that movie, and reveals a picture of himself as a movie usher in the film.
• Legendary Deadpan Snarker Jenny Nicholson vs. 100% earnest Scott Mantz for "The LAST Last Jedi Debate" results in plenty of tremendous moments.
  • Jenny's argument for biggest Oscar snub: Justice League (2017)'s visual effects department for doing a job she compares to "a gymnast pulling off a routine with a broken leg" or "an inspiring sports movie, like the one with the volleyball coach who dies before the team goes to Nationals." Jenny proceeds to fight a very uphill battle and almost wins arguing that the visual effects artists' fast turnaround of applying Zack Snyder's early footage to a Joss Whedon movie, including getting rid of Snyder's "nondescript blue dusk where everything's all desaturated like it's midnight but also high noon", creating a new performance for Henry Cavill's upper lip, and dealing with Whedon ("You know what he's like...").
    Jenny: Suddenly, they're dealing with Whedon, and they had to change everything around. Suddenly, it's a comedy. They had all these shots that were clearly pick-ups where the characters suddenly tell a joke, and Whedon probably took that in in some kind of wicker basket and said "Assimilate this into the movie," and they were probably on cassette tapes, and this team had to plug them in to their computer devices and make it a movie. And most people who watched it thought it was okay. And for me, that's a victory.
  • Scott opens his argument for biggest snub with a Shakespearean declaration of "WHAT... is a snub?" Cue Dan quietly muttering off-screen "You were supposed to figure that out before the episode..."
  • When Scott says that Jenny's visual effects team just did their jobs, Jenny responds that Kumail was also doing his job in The Big Sick: being married to Emily Gordon.
    Jenny: Their wedding pictures were in the credits, the wedding was probably a tax write-off.
  • Jenny's Speed Round pitch for the next movie to get a stunt show: Fifty Shades of Grey, a burlesque show featuring giant BDSM puppets.
  • Jenny's next Speed Round pitch for best board-game adaptation: Don't Wake Daddy, a disturbing fantasy horror movie directed by Guillermo del Toro.