Funny / Mistborn: The Original Trilogy

  • The books have plenty funny moments, especially conversations involving Vin's dry humor. Most notably when the chivalrous Elend enters Vin's private rooms.
    Vin: Why did you knock?
    Elend: Well . . . you might have been changing.
    Vin: So . . . ?
    • In the same book . . .
    Oreseur: What about you? Are you a good person?
    Vin: Oh, no, not me. I'm not a good person or a bad person. I'm just here to kill things.
  • "He ate my horse."
  • Elend's reaction to finding out Vin is Mistborn. Might have had something to with the fact that she was, yet again, in her underwear.
  • In "The Final Empire", eventually Ham and Kelsier learn to understand and speak in Spook's dialect. The following conversation ensues.
    Spook: Niceing the not on the playing without. translation 
    Breeze: I have no idea what you just said, child. So I'm simply going to pretend it was coherent, then move on.
    Kelsier: *rolls eyes* Losing the stress on the nip. Notting without the needing of care.translation 
    Spook: *nods* Riding the rile of the rids to the right.translation 
    Breeze: What are you two babbling about?.translation 
    Spook: Wasing the was of brightness. Nip the having of wishing of this.translation 
    Kelsier: Ever wasing the doing of this.translation 
    Ham: Ever wasing the wish of having the have. Brighting the wish of wasing the not.translation 
    Breeze: *to Dockson* I believe our companions have finally lost their minds, dear friend.
    Dockson: Wasing not of wasing is.translation 
  • From Hero Of Ages, Elend and Ham have just decided not to send a force of 40,000 Koloss to attack Fadrex City, which would likely have resulted in the deaths of most of the population
    Ham smiled. "Cett's going to be furious."
    Elend shrugged. "He's a paraplegic. What's he going to do? Bite us?"
  • When Elend does something stupidly risky in the second book:
    Elend: Stay here, wait to see if I get back. If I don't, tell Vin what happened.
    Ham: Sure, I'll tell her. Then I'll proceed to remove her daggers from my chest.
  • After Kelsier comes back from destroying the atium crystals in the Pits of Hathsin:
    Ham: Where were you? We've been worried sick that you were out doing something...well, stupid.
    Breeze: Actually, we took it for granted that you were doing something stupid. We've just been wondering how stupid this particular event would turn out to be. So, what is it? Did you assassinate the lord prelan? Slaughter dozens of noblemen? Steal the cloak off the Lord Ruler's own back?
    Kelsier: I destroyed the Pits of Hathsin.
    stunned silence
    Breeze: You know, you'd think that by now we'd have learned not to underestimate him.
  • Vin, on her mysterious acquisition of a ball gown in the last book:
    Elend: Seriously, Vin, the army's tailors are good, but there's no way that dress came from materials we had in the camp. Where did you get it?
    Vin: It's a mystery. We Mistborn are incredibly mysterious.
    Elend: Um... I'm Mistborn, too, Vin. That doesn't make any sense.
    Vin: We Mistborn need not make sense. It's beneath us.
    • This, incidentally, is a Call Back to Kelsier's use of the same explanation in the first book.
  • From the same scene, Ham finally finding a captive audience for his philosophical ponderings. It's easy to imagine that only the convenient scene transition prevented a Big "NO!".
    • Yeah, that was hilarious. Especially because the captive audience was (the paraplegic) Cett, who absolutely hated listening to Ham's philosophical ponderings. I believe the exchange went something like this:
    Ham: So... you can't go anywhere unless someone carries you, right?
    Cett: *grunt*
    Ham: Well then, I've got quite a number of philosophical puzzles you might enjoy...
  • When Elend told Vin that killing his fiancée, God, brother and father, In That Order was a homicidal hat trick. And then he notes he's somewhat glad he doesn't have any other close relatives.
  • Everything Breeze says. Ever. Especially when he gets in arguments with Ham.
    • From Hero of Ages, when Breeze and Sazed finally discover the identity of the fabled "Survivor of the Flames" and that apparently their friend Spook hasn't exactly been idle during his time spent in Urteau:
    Breeze: Well... that was somewhat unexpected.
  • In the first book, Kelsier's crew has a meeting in the beginning for starting to formulate a plan to take down the Lord Ruler. Kelsier gets them to list the problems they're going to have to deal with and write them down on the blackboard. After everyone lists a lot of problems, Yeden adds something pessimistic along the lines of "The fact that this plan is doomed to fail and we're all going to die," and Kelsier writes on his list of problems they have to deal with, "Yeden's bad attitude."
  • "I am, unfortunately, the Hero of Ages."
  • Cett has a tendency to throw things at Breeze, like insults. And knives.
  • In the first book, Kelsier and Sazed have decided to claim that Vin (who will be infiltrating the nobility) is from a small country house.
    Kelsier: Which would explain why she's a bit less refined than other court members. No offense, Vin.
    (Vin looks up from hiding a roll in her shirt pocket)
    Vin: Why would I be offended?
  • For fans of black humor, Ruin's voice in Zane's head can be rather hilarious when you're not expecting it.
    Ruin:Kill him, he's not that important. (About the night guard captain of Straff's army.)
  • In the final book, when Elend and Vin are just about to have their first dance; while Vin is very excited, Elend pulls a book out of nowhere and promptly starts reading, much to Vin's chagrin.
    • The fact that he had a servant go and find the very book he was reading the night they first met (and that Elend remembers which book that was) is also this, crossing over into Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.
  • Ham's Insane Troll Logic for why he was perfectly justified in tearing the sleeves off his rebel army uniform, after Dockson laments that those things cost money:
    Ham: Everything costs money. But what is money? A physical representation of the abstract concept of effort. Well, wearing that uniform for so long was a pretty mean effort. I'd say this vest and I are even now.
  • OreSeur or, actually, TenSoon really likes trolling Vin:
    OreSeur: Mistress, you do realize that you just left the writing desk behind to sit on the floor.
    Vin: And?
    OreSeur: The purpose of a writing desk is, well, writing.
    Vin: But my papers are all over here.
    OreSeur: Papers can be moved, I believe. If they prove too heavy, you could always burn pewter to give yourself more strength.
  • Despite her. . . complicated feelings regarding kandra, she can appreciate their humor:
    OreSeur: I could always eat one of them (Breeze and Ham, sidetracking the group with another argument), if you wish. That might speed things up.
    Vin: (Beat)
    OreSeur: Kandra humor, Mistress. I apologize. We can be a bit grim.
    Vin: (smiling) They probably wouldn't taste very good, anyway. Ham's far too stringy, and you don't want to know the kinds of things Breeze spends his time eating. . .
    OreSeur: I'm not sure. One is, after all, named "Ham." As for the other. . . (nods to Breeze's ever-present winecup) he does seem quite fond of marinating himself.
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