While you do have some sympathy for Sam, you've got to laugh at Curtis' attempts to break up with her without making her cry.
Sam: "You're breaking up with me with a line from Spider Man?!"
Also, Nathan creating a ridiculous distraction to prevent Sally from finding the "incriminating items"(Tony and Gary's decaying bodies) in her car-boot by hurling a brick at her windscreen and being as obnoxious about it as possible:
Nathan: "It's just pure, mindless vandalism!"
Sally: "What is the matter with you! Are you mentally deficient?!"
Nathan: "If I was mentally deficient, I would've missed! Check that out...bullseye!"
"Save Me Barry!"
Nathan's impression of Bono, which prompts this reaction when no-one gets it:
Nathan: "Alright, I'll give you a clue — I'm an annoying cunt!"
Alisha: "Yeah, we know that."
Nathan's riot in the bowling alley, culminating in the stapler attack.
Nathan:(over intercom) "They sewed up his clunge!"
Simon and Kelly's dancing in Episode 2.
From the same episode, Nathan pushing a little old lady in a wheelchair across the dance floor—only to let her go rolling out the door when he notices Ruth.
Nathan's explanation of why he's on community service to Ruth, at a pensioners' party.
Nathan: I sexually assaulted a 90 year old.
Nathan trying to chat up Ruth- only to end up getting blocked by an old lady wanting to dance. Cue Nathan furiously mouthing "fuck off" at her.
"SHE'S STEALING YOUR PENSION!"
From the season finale, Nathan, Simon and Kelly do a Power Walk, accompanied by The Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up".
Nathan explaining what happened when he told his mum he's immortal.
Simon asking Alisha if she 'likes food.'
These admittedly rather macabre lines between Simon and Lucy:
Simon: "For the first time in my life, I feel like I belong. Iīve never been this happy."
Lucy: "You've murdered your probation worker!"
Simon: "I didn't say it was perfect."
Nathan again , as the crew stare down at Sally's body in the freezer. He is making a comment about how messed up it is until...
From the same episode, everything about Marnie giving birth, but particularly Nathan stomping to death what he thought was an alien baby. It wasn't. It was the placenta. Which splattered. All over the group.
Kelly:"IT'S THE AFTERBIRTH, YOU DICKHEAD!"
Bless Marnie when she hears the plan to steal money from Jesus to get their powers back.
Marnie:(proudly) "And then we're going to kick the shit out of Jesus!"
And when they finally manage to do so- by accident, and killing him in the process, Nathan immediately takes a wad of bills and makes the sign of the cross over "Jesus'" prone body. "Just in case it really is him!"
Curtis' counter argument regarding the selling of his powers:
Kelly: "Twenty fuckin' grand!"
Simon: "You sold your powers?"
Kelly: "Yeah mate."
Simon: "You shouldn't be doing this. We were given them for a reason!"
Nikki: "And what reason's that?"
Curtis: "I'll give you twenty thousand reasons for getting rid of 'em!"
Simon: "It's like in Superman 2 when Superman gives up his powers so that he can be with Lois Lane."
Nathan: "I mean we did sod all with our powers but at least we never abused them. We never raped or murdered anyone."
Curtis:(points to Alisha) "She raped me. And we killed loads of people."
Bonus is Alisha giving him a look that is a mix of what are you complaining about and get over it.
In S2 E6, when Laura the new agent of the now famous ABSO 5 asks 'Is there anything else I need to know ?'... and unfortunately get answers.
Well, Nathan tripled with a girl and Kelly shagged a monkey... a gorilla.
In S2E2, while Nathan and Jamie are talking, Nathan is grilling a sandwich. With a clothes iron. This troper and her mother burst into laughter.
In Season 2 Episode 6, Nathan shoots himself in the head, comes back to life, does a bow, and the credits roll with the title of the special: "Oops, There Goes My Brains!"with credits rolling.
Nathan: "I just realised. I haven't died this week."
Simon: "It's only Thursday, there's still time."
Nathan in the "Vegas Special" gets caught out on using his new ability as a Reality Warper to win at dice after accidentally rolling a seven. What does he do to distract the guards after they corner him during his attempt to escape?
Simon and Curtis' 'therapy session' in Series 3, episode 2.
Rudy explaining his relation to Curtis in the Nazi timeline when Curtis' bar is raided by Shaun and his Nazi squad. First he says he's Curtis' gay lover, and then his cousin.
Shaun: "You are aware homosexuality is illegal?"
Before that, Simon saluting, as OCD as ever, and Shaun just barely raising a hand and waving it off as a 'whatever'.
And the this:
Curtis (to Rudy): Quit stealing the alcohol.
Rudy: Thought you said to help meself.
Curtis: I said stay the fuck away from the bar.
Rudy: (absently) Yeah.
Curtis wanking as a girl. And Simon and Alisha in the scene. It's best if you just watch it.
The attempt to smuggle Jen's body out of the hospital, which involves Simon and Seth wheeling her bed out the door while trying to look as noncholant as possible. Extra hilarity points go to Rudy distracting a nurse by asking about his prolapsed granny, and frantically mouthing "fuck off" at Simon and Seth.
Alisha after she bashes in a zombie cheerleader's head with a baseball bat repeatedly: "Do you still want me to dress up as a cheerleader for your birthday?"
Season 3, Episode 3 delivers a triple whammy.
Under the influence of mind control, Simon has dumped Alisha; meanwhile, Rudy is being as unhelpful as possible by claiming that Simon's gay.
Alisha: He's not gay, he's the best shag I ever had!
Series 3 Episode 6, an episode pretty much about Rudy trying to be cured of dickfallsoff syndrome with Simon's help. Pretty much all of their interactions are hilarious, especially this one,upon seeing a drunk girl Rudy thinks he needs to have sex with to cure his condition.
Rudy: Maybe I'll just slip it in, eh?
Simon: No, Rudy, that's rape.
Rudy: Is it really?
Simon: Yes! it is!
Rudy: Kind of a grey area, don't you think?
Simon: No! It isn't!
Simon's line "Is there something wrong with your penis?" after seeing a vision of Rudy's penis falling off also qualifies.
That episode has Rudy tracking down one of the three (wrong) candidates for who cursed Rudy's penis, and offering her all the money (spare change) he has in his pocket to have sex with him. Apalled, she says "You think I'm a prostitute!" and Rudy, trying to be charming (failing miserably) says, "Well you could be... if you wanted... 'cause you're so pretty."
Episode 7. "What happened to Mister Miggles?"
In 4x01, Seth and Rudy have both been whammied by a power and have become increasingly paranoid, each on edge and acting like the other is Alone with the Psycho. Out of which, comes this utterly bizarre conversation gem:
Alex utilizing his newfound ability to fuck the powers out of people, first on a woman in a hospital bed and then on an unconscious Finn. The latter's slow realization of exactly what is going on is priceless.
Finn: ...is that what I think it is?
Rudy's heroic shout of "I'm coming Jess", then bouncing off the door as he tries to break in and save her.
Rudy revealing what his parents think he does: he's at university doing a Master's and is head of the rowing team.
Alex and Rudy getting massive grins when they walk in on Abbey and Laura having sex.
Rudy Too opening up to Abbey about his philosophical crisis as a creation of the storm.
Rudy Too: What's my place in the world? Am I a person in my own right? Will I ever find true love?
Abby: What did you do?
Rudy Too: Rudy One told me to stop being such a vagina.