- Most of his negative reviews are this. Check out his Pink, Linkin Park, PJ Harvey and Madonna.
- His Beach Boys reviews, including such gems as "Bring Your Own Hairpiece!" and "It took forty-five years of electroshock therapy and fourteen lobotomies before I finally realized how incredible the tune is".
- The story recounted in his Frank Zappa reviews, in which he and his wife try to get Henry the dog to go downstairs and urinate in a bathtub during a rainstorm:
But what finally did the trick? A ridiculous dog misunderstanding on Henry's part! Brenda said, "Come on, Henry! I don't want you to get a kidney infection!" Henry's ears perked up and a little growl snuck out as his full attention turned to his Mommy. I thought for a moment and realized that he had mistaken the word "kidney infection" for "kitty cat." So I excitedly galloped down the spiral staircase shouting, "Henry, there's a kidney infection down here!" He ran down after me at breakneck speed in hot pursuit of a fuzzy meowing kidney infection. When he finally realized that none was too be found, I guess he figured "what the hell - I'm down here anyway" and peed in the tub like a good son would. I like my doggy so much!
- The Scratch Acid page is mostly written as though the robber who had recently broken into Mark Prindle's house in real life also took the time to contribute reviews to the site while he was at it. Leading to passages like "And that's all I can say about the record because, unlike Mark Prindle, I'm a crappy writer. Hell, I'm not even a good thief! I stole all the shitty fake jewelry while not even noticing the expensive heirloom jewelry that was sitting right next to it! Holy christ am I a fucking jackoff!"
- His review of Megadeth's album Risk is written as an homage to a famous poem. The poem in question? THE RAVEN. And it is HILARIOUS. Also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
- If things he's done outside of his review site count, then "Hot Rockin' Tonight".
- His Ramones page includes reviews of several bootlegs, including one with a very incorrect tracklisting: In that review, he demonstrates what the Looped Lyrics of "Listen To My Heart" would be like if it really was called "Listen To My Feet": "Next time I'll listen to my feet / next time, I'll be sweet!"
- Most of the conversations recounted here, but especially this:
SITUATION: The wife and I are walking Henry The Dog to Central Park to go jogging. Henry knows it as "Jog Dogging"......
Me: We're going Jog Dogging! You ready to be a Jog Dog?
Wife: Feel that breeze, Henry? It's a great night to be a J.D.!
Me: Really? (*angrily jumps up and kicks road sign*)
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Being a juvenile delinquent!
Wife: Oh good lord.
Me: 'Hey, somebody stop that middle-aged juvenile delinquent!'
- From his review of Nevermind The Bollocks: "Firstly, the guitars are blisteringly gritty, with Steve Jones doing everything in his power to sound as cool as Johnny Thunders, who wanted to be as cool as Keith Richards, who wanted to be as cool as Chuck Berry, who wanted to watch girls take a poop."
- His video review of The Modern Lovers has a puppet desperately trying to explain the album while Henry keeps chewing him up.
- Writing parallel reviews for Metallica and Lou Reed's collaborative album Lulu on each of their respective pages: One praises Metallica and blames all of the album's shortcomings on Lou Reed, the other praises Lou Reed and blames all of the album's shortcomings on Metallica.