Most of the conversations recounted here, but especially this:
SITUATION: The wife and I are walking Henry The Dog to Central Park to go jogging. Henry knows it as "Jog Dogging"......
Me: We're going Jog Dogging! You ready to be a Jog Dog?
Wife: Feel that breeze, Henry? It's a great night to be a J.D.!
Me: Really? (*angrily jumps up and kicks road sign*)
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Being a juvenile delinquent!
Wife: Oh good lord.
Me: 'Hey, somebody stop that middle-aged juvenile delinquent!'