Funny / Hot Shots! Part Deux

This movie doesn't go twenty seconds without cracking a joke. This page is only scraping the surface of how hilarious the film is...

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• The opening text explaining the film's plot. The person typing it can't quite spell the word assassinate, so they write "to kill a guy" instead.
• Saddam gets crumbs in the bed, so he pulls out the dust buster and goes under the sheets with it. A loud suction noise is heard and Saddam yelps.
• After the American black ops team gets ambushed by Saddam's guards, the man himself is spooked by the shooting and stumbles out of his mansion, yelling and firing his twin machine pistols wildly, bumping into... pretty much everything and making an absolute tit of himself. One of the captured American soldiers shares an embarrassed look with one of the guards... twice.
  • Prior to that, the guards fall completely silent as Saddam bumbles his way through the garden in his nightshirt, suggesting that this is a regular occurrence.
• The high-pitched voice on the opponent Topper's fighting: "You win..."
• This exchange:
  Topper: Colonel, who are they?
  Walters: She's CIA. The other man's an extra.
• The random, hilarious and yet romantic Lady and the Tramp spoof in Part Deux.
• "I smell a rat." Spoken by Topper while both facing a possible mole in his team and an actual rat is crawling up his shoulder.
• The President grabs a bust of Abraham Lincoln, and removes the top of Lincoln's head:
  President Benson: Cookie?
  Colonel Walters: No thank you sir.
  President Benson: Young lady?
  Michelle: No thank you sir.
  President Benson: No I was just offering him a young lady.
• When Topper meets Michelle:
  Topper: I'm putty in your hands.
  Michelle: In my hands, nothing turns to putty.
  (Topper tugs his shirt, letting steam out)
• Benson's hilariously insensitive line to the Japanese ambassador: "It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars!". Probably because it sounds so much like something Reagan or Bush Sr. could have said.
  • Most of the Noodle Incidents Benson mentions.
  Benson: Skin's made of asbestos. Tanning parlor accident in Dien Bien Phu.
  • During a news segment at a Presidential ceremony, Benson is shown standing with all of the other surviving Presidents, holding a shovel that's supposed to be a symbolic part of the ceremony. As the newscaster talks regarding the incident with the assassination and the captured soldiers in not-Iraq, Benson is obliviously swinging the shovel around and knocking all of the other Presidents unconscious.
    • Gerald Ford isn't hit but falls down anyway.
• Those poor monks when Michelle shows up with the Colonel. Vow of celibacy and all (like their fathers and their fathers' fathers...)
  • The ascetic and simple Tibetan monastery features Topper assembling a wagon wheel... which is then being fitted to a modern sports car. Later Topper goes back to his small room in the monastery, which is bare and featureless, except for full color TV and entertainment center.
• The captured Colonel Walters is tortured, but refuses to break:
  Interrogator: (genuinely impressed) I see you are no stranger to pain.
  Colonel Walters: I've been married.
  Interrogator: (nods in agreement and sympathy)
  Colonel Walters: Twice.
  Interrogator: (winces as his colleague silently gasps in the background) Oi!
• The limo driver trying to watch Topper and Michelle have sex. He variously uses public pay binoculars, a film camera and popcorn until Topper closes off the front section. Next time we see him, he's outside the limo, taking photographs (and no, he hadn't stopped the car...).
• The sex scene between Topper and Michelle is itself pretty funny. She ties him down, even having him lend a finger so she can get the knot, despite the other hand being tied to the opposite bedpost. She walks up stairs, onto a diving board, and flips onto the bed. Finally, she's riding him while swinging a cowboy hat and shooting a revolver into the air while yelling "Yippy!"
  • The Shout-Out to Basic Instinct as Michelle grabs a screwdriver from beside the bed and stabs it... right at a loose squeaky screw just above Topper's head.
  • And the limo driver peeking in through the window, still trying to watch!
• When the helicopter comes in to bring Topper to the Army base, it descends, kicking up a huge storm of dust and knocking over tents, before coming in for a landing. It's actually a tiny model helicopter. One officer even yells for someone to pick it up before someone else trips over it.
• Topper rescuing Rabinowitz from a snake by tugging at it and letting go, causing the snake to rapidly wind around the tree branch above.
• "I loved you in Wall Street!" in a scene that was already doing simultaneous shoutouts to Platoon and Apocalypse Now.
• During the scene where the team are stopped by the patrol boat while disguising themselves as fishermen they do a pretty horrible job of pretending. Ramanda tries to cast and accidentally chucks most of the rod into the river, being left with about an 18 inch long cylinder in her hand. So she puts it up her to eye like a telescope - and somehow, the patrol buys it and thinks everything checks out.
  • Ramada has also disguised herself as a man (simply by sticking on a hilariously-bad fake mustache and pulling her hair up under her hat) because women aren't allowed to fish. When the patrol boat starts to pull away, the captain looks back, to see Ramada going into the women's restroom on the fishing ship.
  • While this does end up blowing their cover, the captain doesn't exactly jump to the obvious conclusion:
    Captain: Crossdressers! Get them!
  • During the subsequent shootout, the not-Iraqis fire so many bullets and grenades and rockets at the fishing ship that Topper is literally left standing on a tiny piece of the boat, literally up to his chest in brass casings from his M60.
• Perhaps one of the funniest scenes: President Benson's assault on the Iraqi Coast, which is... Mount Rushmore. "The Iraqi Coast, oh those bluffs look treacherous!" as he's looking through a ViewMaster 3D (toy binoculars for children that display 3D images). The whole scene is absolute comedy gold.
  • The next scene involving President Benson: A patrol boat carrying four Iraqi soldiers has approached Benson's position. Benson doesn't have any plans or strategies on how to change course toward the coast, so he and his two accompanying SCUBA divers simply decide to continue swimming.
    Benson: Then, suddenly, it happened.
    • Those enemy soldiers dropped like flies.
• Rabinowitz (played by Ryan Stiles), the team's demolition expert, really can't step away from his job. At least he seems to enjoy it.
  Rabinowitz: "Know what I'm gonna do if we make it? I'm gonna go back to Eagle River and marry my gal, Edith Mae. Gonna get us a nice little place with a white picket fence. You know the kind. Two-car garage. Maybe a fishing boat. And in 15 years, when they're all paid for... I'll set my charges and blow the shit out of them."
• Topper cuts into the perimeter fence with a set of wire clippers. He reaches up to pull the cut section away... and the whole fence falls down instead.
• The Improvised Weapon montage as the team infiltrates the camp. Among them are a mallet on the end of a sniper rifle, a rocket launcher shooting an extending boxing glove, and a pair of eye-poking fingers mounted as a bayonet. Topping it is a deadly hand-to-hand struggle... over a banana.
• The sneezing mouse that awakens the guard. Notably, poking him the eye, smacking him in the face, knocking over a shaker of pepper on the table, loudly rattling the keys Topper was trying to grab, and jamming the broom handle into a fan causing a sound akin to a buzz saw tearing through wood didn't wake him.
  • When Topper throws the keys to the Colonel, he can't quite reach them... so he instead steps out most of the way out of the cage to reach down and pick them up.
  • And when the Colonel gets out and is confronted by the guard, he fumbles around a table full of weapons, including a pistol, an assault rifle, a couple of grenades, a revolving grenade launcher........and a fly swatter, which he uses to knock out the guard.
  • After this, he takes the grenade launcher and uses it on the first Mook he sees, splattering him against the wall. The mook survives
    Mook: Now, that's a hell of a gun!
• Without a doubt: Topper firing the chicken.
  • And said chicken laying an egg after the man dies!
  • The entire extended scene, because every time Topper fires a real arrow at the guard, he moves and the shot misses. Topper has to use the chicken because the guard turns around to see the door to his building riddled with all of Topper's arrows.
• Topper and a not-Iraqi guard find common ground: they both hate the Bland-Name Product knock-off of the Energizer Bunny. After mutually blowing it up, they exchange "YES!" gestures and looks, then get back to fighting.
• BLOODIEST MOVIE EVER!
• Topper runs out of ammo for his M60 and throws a pile of bullets at some mooks. And it works and they all fall to the ground as if shot.
• The team is desperately trying to escape from the not-Iraqi army, only to run into an Insurmountable Waist-High Fence. With a little locked gate. Rabinowitz is ordered to blow it, but he complains it's not their property.
• Later, Topper uses a grappling hook and spends about thirty seconds struggling over a wall... which not only was barely chest high, but ended completely five feet to his right.
• "War: It's FAN-TASTIC!" *smiles*
• Topper grabs Saddam's arm and tries to throw him, but Saddam flips in the air so he lands standing in front of Topper with his gun. Even Topper looks confused.
  • "I will split you like a melon!" Cue Topper leaping over a table, and Saddam's sword chopping a watermelon in half.
  • When Saddam and Topper are sword-fighting, Topper's blade cuts through a candle. Topper looks up at it, and sees the candle intact... then his sword neatly breaks apart instead. This forces him to grab a cordless phone and use the antenna as a weapon. ^note For those of you unfamiliar with 90's cordless phones, they had to use extendable antennae that could get as long as an arming sword.
• The American Gladiators-style fight between Ramada and Michelle.
• As the fight between President Benson and Saddam concludes, Benson uses a fire extinguisher on Saddam and his dog, freezing them both. Saddam is pushed onto his dog, which causes both of them to shatter. However, since the shattered remains Saddam and his dog's bodies are positioned right next to a fireplace, the shards begin melting down into liquid metal (like the T-1000). When all the pieces liquify, they coalesce into one big pool and start forming morphing back into Saddam's body. However, something seems... a little bit off about his regenerated human form.
  Saddam: They've dicked with the wrong dictator! This Means War!
• Dexter can't walk from the Cold-Blooded Torture he's been subjected to... they tied his shoelaces together.
  Topper: A knot! Bastards.
• The team takes cover behind a boulder while the not-Iraqis are hitting them with mortars. The boulder is hit, and proceeds to deflate like a basketball.
• When Topper confesses his love to Ramada:
  Topper: I want to be with you. I want to meet your parents and pet your dog
  Ramada: My parents are dead, my dog ate them.
• Dexter falls off a cliff, Wile E. Coyote style.
  Topper: He really was a wiener.
  Ramada: Don't get me started.
• Saddam being flattened by a piano at the end ^Note(by the way, said piano was pushed out of the escaping helicopter to lighten the load. Why there was a piano in a helicopter is anyone's guess). His legs are sticking out the bottom; they curl up and slide underneath the piano.

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