Topper: He really was a wiener. Ramada: Don't get me started.
The President grabs a bust of Abraham Lincoln, and removes the top of Lincoln's head:
President Benson: Cookie?
Colonel Walters: No thank you sir.
President Benson: Young lady?
Michelle: No thank you sir.
President Benson: No I was just offering him a young lady.
Washout ejects...right into the underside of Deadmeat's plane.
Washout: Do me a favor, don't land!
Topper runs out of ammo for his M60 and throws a pile of bullets at some mooks.
And it works and they all fall to the ground as if shot.
The Drill Sergeant Nasty telling one of the pilots that the next time he sees their ugly face that it's to be shaven. Said pilot is a rather attractive woman.
Sergeant: Suck in that chest! Female pilot: (inhales and makes her breasts stick up more)
The line "It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars.". Probably because it sounds so much like something Reagan or Bush Sr. could have said.
Benson: You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.
This, when the crew is out at sea:
Benson: Holy Cow! My cap blew off! Swing her round. We'll pick it up. Officer: But, sir, we're on the mission. Benson: Good thinking. We'll pick it up on the way back. We gotta mark the spot, though. Put Robinowitz in a life raft. Have him row in circles until we return. Officer: It could be days. Benson: (slightly annoyed) ...Then put some food in the life raft, for God's sake, man. Do I have to think of everything? We'll tape his favorite shows, he won't miss anything!
The limo driver trying to watch Topper and Michelle have sex. He variously uses public pay binoculars, a film camera and popcorn until Topper closes off the front section. Next time we see him, he's outside the limo, taking photographs.
The sex scene between Topper and Michelle is itself pretty funny. She ties him down, even having him lend a finger so she can get the knot, despite the other hand being tied to the opposite bedpost. She walks up stairs, onto a diving board, and flips onto the bed. Finally, she's riding him while swinging a cowboy hat and shooting a revolver into the air while yelling "Yippy!"
Don't forget the Shout-Out to Basic Instinct as she grabs a screwdriver from beside the bed and stabs it... right at a loose squeaky screw just above Topper's head.