Funny / Home on the Range
  • Part of Alameda Slim's disguise involves a pair of glasses that, when worn, make Slim completely unrecognizable to his idiot Mooks, even if they watch him putting on the glasses. Then, during his Villain Song, one of the Mooks puts on the glasses, and the other two immediately freak out because they don't recognize him.
  • Slim's reaction to one of the Willie brothers referring to his yodeling as "singing".
    My singing? Birds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing. I yodel. And yodeling is an art!!!
  • "I gave up clown college for this?"
  • Maggie's reaction to Grace singing "She'll be Comin' Round the Mountain".
    She'd better hurry up around that mountain, 'cause I can't take this much longer.
  • When one of the Willie brothers moves his head from Slim's map, and Slim notices Patch of Heaven on his map (shown to be the exact same shape of the minion's head, always blocked).
    Slim: Uh, Gil? Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we brought a herd back to this secret lair, you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, blocking that choice-piece of property from my view?!
    Gil: This is my comfy place. What? (Slim grabs him by the throat)
    Phil: It's called "Patch of Heaven", Uncle Slim. Goes on auction Thursday morning.
    Slim: (his fury promptly replaced with eagerness) Perfect! (drops Gil) Pencil it in. Thursday morning—right after we sell off this herd.
    Bill: But it's just a lil' ol' dirt farm.
    Slim: Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking revenge, every last acre... counts
  • Buck tricking Rico's horse into running away and as he gloats
    Buck: So long, sucker! He must be takin' stupid lessons from that buffalo. (Junior the Buffalo snorts down Buck's neck) Uh-oh!
  • At the beginning where Jeb the goat steals the Piggie's tin can.
    Jeb: Oh, get lost, you little cocktail wieners!
    • When Grace, being the pacifist she is, tries to sort the issue out.
    Grace: Let's not play the shame and blame game. This is an organic problem, and there's a holistic solution.
    Jeb: You don't get this whole farm concept, do you, sister?
    Piggy: KILL THE GOAT! (they attack Jeb)
    • Then when Calloway stops the scuffle, and grabs the can.
    Piggy: We're sorry, Mrs. Calloway.
    Mrs. Calloway: Piggies, why can't you leave Jeb alone?
    Jeb: Yeah! Why can't ya?!
    Mrs. Calloway: The poor old goat needs his rest.
    Jeb: That's right! I need it.
    Mrs. Calloway: So run along, and take your can with you. (tosses the can as the piggies race after it)
    Jeb: Yeah, take that can and—WAIT! Hey, come back here, you bacon bits! Or I'll—
    Mrs. Calloway: Jeb, don't you have enough cans of your own?
    Jeb: (with a stockpile of cans right beside him) Not really.
  • Buck uses his reigns like his own lasso. One time he lassoes himself to a pole, hitting his head.
    Buck: Ugh! Who put this here?
  • When Buck gets into a brief argument with the bovines, while Rico sees Buck doing foolish karate moves, leading him to think Buck is skittish and he chooses another horse.
    Rico: You boys heading back to town?
    Rancher 1: Yes, sir. We gotta go file a report with the Sheriff.
    Rico: Give him back his horse. This one's too skittish around cows.
    Buck: And that, girls, is what makes me and Rico equal parts of one, lean, mean, crime-fighting— (sees Rico ride off on another horse, disappearing into the distance) ...machine?
    Mrs. Calloway: Well, there it is then.
    Maggie: Well, well, well, stud. Now I'm no professional, but I'd say the only mano a mano you'll be doing is in your dreams! Look out, Buck! He's makin' a move on your left flank! Kaboosh!
  • During Slim's villain song the Willies show off his butt.
    • 1st instance they pull the band of is britches revealing the label.
    Bill: He don't prod
    Phil: He don't yell
    Gil: Still, he drives them dogies well
    All: Which ain't easy when your chaps are labeled XXXXL!
    Bill: He don't rope
    Phil: Not a chance
    Gil: He just puts 'em in a trance.
    All: He's a pioneered Pied Piper in ten-gallon underpants!
  • Everything with Barry and Bob the idiot longhorns.
    Barry: Maybe we can help you.
    Bob: Maybe we can help each other?
    • This gem when the longhorns are panicking about the arrival of Slim.
    Bob: Don't worry, darlin'. I'll protect you.
    Mrs. Calloway: You have exactly two seconds to remove your hoof... before I snap it off at the knee.
    Bob: Sorry, ma'am. I thought you were the blonde—
    (Calloway whacks him, sending him to the ground)
  • Meta-example: One of the earlier cuts would've explained what Slim wanted to do with all those cows: He would've used them to storm Washington, DC, and become President in a coup de'tat. Sadly, they thought it was "too bizarre" and cut it.
    • Considering the rest of the show, they really shouldn't have. A villainous scheme that over the top would be entirely in place given that it's a show that attempts to be "Charlie's Angels except with cows".
  • The DVD short "A Dairy Tale: The Three Little Pigs". ESPECIALLY the ending.