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Funny: Green Lantern
  • Nothing will ever, ever, ever, EVER top Batman flooring Guy Gardner with one punch. It got a Shout-Out in GL: Rebirth when Hal did the same thing to Batman before kicking Parallax's yellow ass.
  • For Black Comedy that Crosses the Line Twice, you can't beat the obituary for beloved and sadly blown up GL Mogo, in the letters page for Green Lantern Corps #60.
    Mogo, age unknown, died suddenly and unexpectedly in the orbit of Oa, Space Sector 00. He was born in the creation of the universe, and much of his history, as well as how he joined the Green Lantern Corps, is unknown. He leaves behind two moons and assorted debris hurtling dangerously through space. Seriously, be careful.
    Mogo was not only the roundest of the Green Lanterns, he was also Corps' only member to be a living planet. A lifelong resident of Sector 2261 for several millenia, he was also the compass that directed where new GL rings were sent to find viable candidates.
    Although he often acted as a mentor to Corpsmen needing guidance, he was not known for being one to socialize.
    His passions included cultivating the lush forests covering his surface, orbiting his system's sun, and not exploding.
    During the Blackest Night, Mogo selflessly protected Oa and the Central Power Battery by absorbing dangerous Black Lantern energy into his own core. Few have ever demonstrated such bravery or sacrifice, and after seeing what happened to the last guy who did, odds are few more ever will.
    He will be missed.
    In lieu of flowers, the Guardians ask that donations of willpower be sent in care of Oa. Or cash. Cash is actually better, but, you know, whatever.
  • Green Lantern: The New Guardians gives us Kyle arguing with a little kid about his costume.
    • The same issue has a Sinestro Corps member terrorizing some people... until his ring abandons him. The people surround and presumably beat the crap out of/kill him.
  • In the New 52's Green Lantern issue #14, new Green Lantern Simon Baz is confronted by the Justice League for being a suspected terrorist. They also question him on how he got his ring.
    Batman: According to Green Lantern, recruits are chosen for their courage.
    Aquaman: And they only choose a new recruit after a Lantern dies.
    The Flash: I hope it was Gardner. ... I'm going to hell for that aren't I?
  • The Red Lanterns are slowly dying. Fatality offers to convert the female members into Star Sapphires so that they will survive, then Zilius Zox (a male) goes, "No fair!"
  • Carol Ferris is declared the Queen of the Star Sapphires. Larfleeze then promptly states "I want to be Queen!"
  • Hal Jordan has to teach some new Green Lantern recruits how to use their rings during an attack by Larfleeze. He tells him to use their imagination. One of them makes a fist construct... and accidently punches Hal in the back of the head with it.
    Hal Jordan: See that wasn't so hard. (points to Larfleeze) Now use your imagination in that direction.
    • If you look closely, you can see that the fist construct has its thumb tucked inside the fingers. After the battle, Hal teaches the recruit how to make a proper fist.
  • In one story, a corrupt military guy is dying. In his last breath, he tells a military officer that in his safe, he has proof that Hal Jordan is really the Green Lantern. The officer he tells it to? Diana Prince.
  • This variant of the Oath.
  • In Red Lanterns #25, Bleez and Skallox try to see how much booze Zilius Zox can chug. When Guy tells them what kind of booze it is, Zox ends up puking acid out of his huge mouth and burns a hole in the floor.
    • In the same issue, we cut to Atrocitus and Dexx-Star in space, thinking how to take back the Red Lantern Corps from Guy. Atrocitus starts lamenting about how far he's fallen and his Right-Hand Cat, Dexx-Star, tells him to quit whining and be himself.
    Dexx-Star: Ssstop whining! Find rage! Be Atrocitussss, not baby!
  • In Red Lanterns #27, Skallox and Zox are on Earth sightseeing when Shadow Thief confronts them. The two Red Lanterns try to talk their way out of it, but the spherical Zox feels obliged to ask her one question that makes her hit him.
    Zilius Zox: What's a testicle?
    • In the next issue, Shadow Thief squeezes Zox until he looks like a peanut. When Hal Jordan asks what happened to him, Zox spits at his feet.
      • While trying to restrain the newest Red Lantern, Supergirl, she socks Zox and he inflates back into a sphere with a look of relief on his face.
  • Jack T. Chance's oath as a Green Lantern.
    "You who are wicked, evil and mean
    I'm the nastiest creep you've ever seen!
    Come one, come all, put up a fight
    I'll kick your ass with Green Lantern's light!
    Yowza!"

Live-action movie

  • Pretty much every other thing out of Hal's mouth in the film is this, but special mention should go to the scene where he's trying to figure out the oath and comes up with "To infinity and beyond!" and "By the power of Greyskull!"
    • The first oath he tries is something along the lines of "I pledge allegiance... to a lantern... I got from a dying ... purple ... alien. (beat) In a swamp."
  • Killowog in the movie "The human? Ain't never seen one before..." *leans in and sniffs Hal* "You smell funny." "I smell funny?"
  • Hal showing his friend the ring: "Ring ... finger ..." *Strikes Pose ... Nothing happens* "Must be outta juice."
    Tom: Did you break it already?
    • The best part is Tom is all fanboying out and doesn't seem to notice Hal flipping him off.
  • The scene of Carol Ferris recognizing Hal as Green Lantern. "I've known you my whole life! I've seen you NAKED! You don't think I would recognize you because I can't see your cheekbones?!"
    • When she's caught on to him, Hal tries to maintain the ruse. When she pushes, though, you can see him just barely manage to hold back laughter.
  • "Now let's take off these pants and go fly some planes."
    • "There's water in the tap."
  • The scene where Hal says the ring is a huge responsibility and Tom goes, "Responsibility? You!?"
    Tom: Well, maybe on their planet "responsibility" just means "asshole".
    Hal: Let's hope so.
  • When Hal first sees his new suit and stars strutting around to goofy music.
Grant Morrison's BatmanFunny/DC ComicsH'el on Earth

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