Funny: Good Burger
- Dexter trying (and failing miserably) to make a Mondo Burger.
Griffin: Bun! Patty! Toppings! Sauce! Assemble!
- Ed trying to fix the milkshake machine.
Ed: Strawberry Jacuzzi!
- The first meeting between Ed and Dexter, who was trying to remember where he's seen Ed before.
Dexter: I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before.
Ed: Maybe I'm someone famous like a baseball player or a pretty nurse!
What are you talking about!?
Ed: Okay, I give up. Who am I?
Dexter: I don't know who you are or where I've seen you before or why you think you're an attractive nurse!
- Ed's first encounter with Kurt.
Dexter: Check it, Ed, it's the Mondo Idiot!
Ed: Oh, nice to meet you, Mondo Idiot, I'm Ed.
Kurt: Well, Ed, you better watch your butt man!
(Tries and ends up spinning around and around)
Ed: I give up. There's no way a guy can watch his own butt.
- Ed in general.
- "Is it because I'm black?"
- Nearly everything by Abe Vigoda's character, Otis.
: I need a hot Jacuzzi
! *passes out*
Troy: Who are you?
: Could someone get me to a hospital? I think I broke my ass.
Heather: They're coming! We'd better hurry!
Otis: Don't have to tell me twice. *Supermans out window*
- The Connie Muldoon sequence.
- Dexter tries to play cards with three patients. But one of them keeps eating the cards, one keeps hitting his head with a ping pong paddle, and one keeps poking at Dexter.
- "It's okay, people! HER BUTT...IS FINE!!!"
- "Look! I'm Grape Nose Boy!"
- "I hate to do this, I hate to put a black man in jail!"
- The "Chariots of Fire" music playing during the slow-motion scene of Dexter and Ed running towards Shaq and hugging him.
- When Troy and Griffen tear off Ed and Dexter's old lady disguises - and Ed is wearing lingerie underneath his.
- The scene where Ed pours the chemical into the meat supply and Mondo Burger becomes "a victim of its own foul play".
- "Kurt's going to jail, Kurt's going to jail, Kurt's going to jail, jail, jail..."
- When Dexter gives Mr. Wheat half the money he owes him for the accident and says, "En-JOY your car!"...just after his recently repaired car was crushed by the giant burger from Mondo Burger's roof.
- When Mr. Bailey asks Dexter how long he's worked in fast food and he replies "Nearly two days!"