- The entire conversation that Castor and Pollux have after Castor-as-Archer decides to get Pollux out by cutting him a "deal" to "locate" Sinclaire.
[Castor comes into the interrogation room sporting a grin on his face. He switches off the microphone]
Castor Troy: You're supposed to be snitching and making me look good.
Pollux Troy: Look good?
Castor Troy: Mmm-hmm.
Pollux Troy: Seeing that face on you makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.
Castor Troy: Well, think about me. This nose. This hair. This ridiculous chin. Brother, we're going straight.
Pollux Troy: Ooh, my goodness. Did you exchange brains as well?
Castor Troy: The first thing I need you to "confess" to is the location of the bomb.
Pollux Troy: What about our $10 million?
Castor Troy: What about "when I become an American hero for defusing the bomb?" What's the worth? Know that, thank you! Next question?
[The two laugh. Castor wags a finger in Pollux's face]
Castor Troy: You're not the only one in the family with the brains.
Pollux Troy: No. Although now I am the only one with the looks.
- When Castor-as-Archer begins to suspect his "wife" knows something.
Castor Troy: Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage.
- Dietrich's comment "No more drugs for that man" when Archer-as-Castor has an averse reaction to the drugs that the real Castor normally takes.
- Castor walking in on Jamie and saying "The plot thickens."
- The prison fight where Archer-as-Castor has to psych himself up and convince not only his brother that he is Troy, but the rest of the prisoners. The scene where Cage goes bug-eyed in particular is the Funny Moment.
- "Dad, I'm sorry I shot you."
- The prison has a very large television screen that shows a nature channel all day. Pollux Troy and Burke Hicks have differing opinions on it.
- When Castor-as-Archer is driving to Archer's house, he looks at all the pleasant, nice looking houses with mowed lawns and white picket fences with derision and disbelief as "Don't Lose Your Head" by INXS plays on the radio.
Castor Troy: Look at this place! I'm in hell! I may never get a hard one again!
[Eve is leaving the house and about to get in her car and hears the music. Castor glances at her as he drives past. Realizing his error, he screeches to a halt, causing the music to stop]
Castor Troy: Oh, yes. Here we go. [He speedily backs his car up to the curb in front of his house. He then lowers his aviators in a suggestive way, rolls down the window and climbs out of the car]
Dr. Eve Archer: Well I suppose it was only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.
Castor Troy: Come on, give me a break. Every house on this block looks the same. [walks around Eve] The nice part of you....Eve. My one and only Eve.
Dr. Eve Archer: So how was your vital assignment?
Castor Troy: Which one is that?
Dr. Eve Archer: [scoffs] How should I know, Sean? [beat]
Castor Troy: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, yes! The uh, the out-of-body experience, yes. That one.
- When Castor wakes up after the surgery and has the doctor who gave him his face-ectomy hauled back to the clinic, the doctor fearfully asks what he wants. We then see Castor's faceless mug appear in the reflection of his glasses to reply:
Castor Troy: ...Take one God damn guess.
- Archer and Castor are fighting each other on a runaway speedboat, and have a simultaneous Oh Crap when they both look up to realize the boat is about to run into something and get launched into the air.
- Castor's first scene is that after he plants the big bomb, he walks away dancing (and headbanging for some reason) to a choir singing the Hallelujah chorus, then gropes a blonde choir girl. Somehow, Cage's face as he practically orgasms is just priceless black comedy.
- When Castor assumes Archer's face, the first thing he does aside from killing every doctor involved, of course, is visit Archer-as-Castor in the prison, just to rub it in. The scene, essentially, is John Travolta giving a masterclass in hammy acting.
Castor-as-Archer: Ooooo-WEE you good-lookin'! Ya hot!