Funny: Empire

The TV Show

  • In the first episode, when Cookie reaches out to Hakeem and explains how everything she did was for him and his brothers, he cruelly brushes her off with "You want a medal, bitch?" Cookie grabs his broom and utterly beats his ass.
    • And after that, Lucious sees Hakeem's bruises and remarks "I see you met your mother."
  • In the second episode, a video of Hakeem drunkenly ranting against Barack Obama goes viral, and Lucious personally calls Obama to apologize. Although we don't actually hear their conversation, it's evident that Lucious got cussed out, and hung up on, by the President of the United States.
  • In "The Lyon Roars," when Andre and Rhonda decide to seduce a boardmember and her husband to secure her vote to name Andre as interim CEO, Rhonda quickly sours on the idea (and their "games" in general) when the husband in question turns out to be a Dirty Old Man. The look on her face when he leers at her from his motorized wheelchair is priceless, especially since Andre's attitude was basically "Take one for the team while I do this hot Latina."
  • Cookie's nickname for Camilla being "Yoko Ono" due to her influencing Hakeem's music.
    Cookie: What can you do, Yoko? Can you play the tambourine?