The hotline telephone conversation. What makes all the better is that Peter Sellers ad-libbed the whole thing:
President Muffley: Hello?... Er, hello, Di—er, hello, Dimitri?...Listen, er, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?...Oh, that's much better!...yeah—yeah—Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri—Clear and plain and coming through fine—I'm coming through fine, too, eh? Good—then—Well, then, as you say we're both coming through fine—Good—Well, it's good that you're fine and, and I'm fine—I agree with you, it's great to be fine—hah hah hah hah—Now then, Dimitri—you know about how—we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb—the bomb, Dimitri—the HYDROGEN bomb—well, now, what happened is—um—one of our base commanders, he had a sort of—well, he went a little funny in the head—you know, just a little—funny, and uh, he went and did a silly thing—Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes—to attack your country. Ah—well let me finish, Dimitri—let me finish, Dimitri—well, listen, how do you think I feel about it?...Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri?...Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?...Of course I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello!...Not now, but any time, Dimitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened—It's a friendly call, of course, it's a friendly call—listen if it wasn't friendly—you probably wouldn't have even got it—They will not reach their targets for at least another hour—I am—I am positive, Dimitri—listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador, it is not a trick—Well I'll tell you—We'd like to give your Air Staff a complete rundown on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes—Yes, I mean if we're unable to recall the planes and—I'd say that, uh— well, uh—we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dimitri—I know they're our boys—Alright, well, listen, now who should we call?...Who should we call Dimitri, What "The People"?— what? Sorry, you faded away there—"The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters"—where is that, Dimitri?...Im Omsk. Right?...Yes—Oh, you'll call them first, will you?...uh-huh—Listen do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dimitri?...What? I see, just ask for Omsk Information—How, ah, um, hmmm—. I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry—Alright, you're sorrier than I am, but I am sorry as well—I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don't say that you're more sorry than I am because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are—So we're both sorry, alright?...Alright—Yes, he's right here. He wants to talk to you, just a second—
The Survival Kit:
- Notice Ambassador de Sadesky's face during the conversation. Not only does he look like a small part of his soul died, it never changes; like he's entirely used to this sort of thing.
Kong: Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings — shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff....