Funny / Death Masks

  • In what doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, the scene when the Archive notices Mister, cries "Kitty!" and goes to pet him. Living repository of all humanity's knowledge? Maybe. Seven year old? Without a doubt.
    • The funny part about it wasn't so much what Ivy did, but more Kincaid's reaction:
      Kincaid: Now, that's just creepy.
  • Harry's reaction to Molly's strategically shredded school uniform and facial piercings:
    "I had a vague memory of being that ridiculous at one time. Let he who hath never worn parachute pants cast the first stone."
    • The entire following conversation is pretty funny, too:
      Molly: Oh, so those are fun-time handcuffs, not bad-time handcuffs!
    • Also:
    Harry: This conversation has become way too bleeping disturbing.
    • Not to mention the bit where Molly overhears Charity talking about Harry and Susan, and says that Charity used words like 'fornication' and 'sin' and 'morally bankrupt'.
    Molly: So, are you?
    Harry: Morally bankrupt?
    Molly: A hot item with Susan.
    • In this scene Molly gives Harry the idea to have kinky rope sex with Susan.
  • When Nicodemus busts down the door to the room Harry and Valmont are in, the thief interrupts his attempt to banter by shooting him in the chest. Nicodemus' response is to be annoyed someone is interrupting him, and starts berating her for ignoring "certain proprieties." Her response is to keep shooting him, and finally Nicodemus just shuts up and waves his arm in a "move along" gesture for her to hurry up and get it over with.
    A girl after my own heart, Anna Valmont had a quick response. She shot him some more.
    • Just as funny is the fact that Nicodemus is clearly shocked at first, and actually opens his coat to stare at the wound in a 'did she really just shoot me?' fashion. Apparently in 2000 years no one's ever taken the initiative and tried to kill him before he's finished making introductions. Young people today...
  • When Harry is kidnapped by the Denarians. Shiro comes to his rescue, opening up the negotiations by slicing up 3 mooks, knocking Deidre to the ground and putting a sword to her throat in the space of about 2 seconds. Harry's delirious (due to having been kept in a cold storage room for several hours AFTER getting the crap beat out of him) reaction to Shiro's badass entrance? He starts singing the Underdog theme tune.
    Harry: Speed of lightning! Roar of thunder! Fighting all who rob or plunder! Underdog!
  • The "Asteroid Dresden" Brick Joke at the end had me literally rolling with laughter for a good couple minutes.
  • Harry summons an oracle spirit...into a Cabbage Patch doll. She is not pleased.
    • Not to mention that said Cabbage Patch doll is given, among other things, tobacco as an offering!
  • Harry's first conversation with the Russian Knight of the Cross Sanya, who remains an atheist despite Archangel Michael descending from Heaven to give him his sword. After Harry pokes holes in both this excuse and after Sanya amends that he may be agnostic, Sanya proposes that perhaps he is insane and this is a hallucination. Harry begins to laugh hysterically in response, probably mirroring the reader.
  • When Harry and Susan go to Michael's house, she comments on how his lawn is green in the middle of February. Harry's response?
  • And we can't forget Thomas showing up to Harry's duel with Ortega wearing a Buffy the Vampire Slayer T-shirt.
  • Black comedy, but Harry's treatment of Cassius is followed up by smashing the motel room phone, then dropping a quarter in front of him and telling him there's a payphone across the parking lot...past a bunch of broken glass. Even Michael and Sanya think it's Actually Pretty Funny that Harry didn't give him enough change for the phone call.
  • Harry's use of a rubber ducky to interrogate Valmont. It Makes Sense in Context.
  • Molly getting Sanya in on her prank calling. Imagine this phrase spoken by a large black man in a heavy Russian accent:
    "Excuse me sir. Do you happen to have Prince Albert in a can? Molly, they hung up again."
    • Made funnier by the fact that Sanya clearly had no clue what he was saying or doing.
  • Harry wakes up in the morgue with gunshot wounds with Butters standing over him and begins screaming that he's not dead. Once they reassure him that he knows, he calms down slightly.
    Harry: [thinking] I'm going to need an armed escort to get to Hell.
    • Made even funnier when in Skin Game Harry does in fact get an armed escort into the Greek version of Hell.
  • Harry calls the Carpenter house, and gets Molly instead of Charity (like he feared). He can tell just from her voice that she's grown up some.
    Molly: Yep! got visited by the breast fairy and everything!
    Harry (Narrating) It took me a moment to realize she hadn't been talking literally about the Fairie. Sometimes I hate my life.
    • Note that Harry definitely says THE faerie, not A faerie, implying that there is an actual 'literal' faerie out there who grants ample bosoms to budding young women.
  • "You suck. You suck diseased moose wang, Marcone."
  • The Running Gag: 'What happened to your coat?'