You know that point where all you want is to retire in peace and just kinda disappear into the ether and watch the holo for the decade or so you have left, and then somebody calls you up and says “Abattoir, do you know how to blow up a planet” or “Abattoir, there’s a dragon from outer space in the Horse Head nebula and why are you laughing, I haven’t even finished the sentence yet”, or “Abattoir, I’m going to have to cancel poker night because there’s an army of husked batarians clogging the street”
And you assume that last one is an excuse, but then you go out for your first run of the day and there’s fucking warfare in the alleys and a fucking Sovereign is perched on top of the only convenience store in Uptown that serves halfway-decent cappuccino
A forum poster relays a story about a krogan mistaking a hug for wrestling technique and judo-throwing an unsuspecting batarian into some garbage. Cue another poster going ”whoops.”
As the Citadel comes under attack by Cerberus, a group of alliance marines hold out against a horde of troops. An aircar hurtles out of nowhere ejecting someone so that they smack into a bridge, peel off comically, and land in a lake.