- The school's football team is so bad, their own announcer can be heard telling the crowd when their next defeat will be at the end of the game.
Jock #1: Jan's got spirit, yes he do!Jock #2: Jan's got spirit, how bout you?Jan: Dude! You just lost!
- One of the cheerleaders is injured in their first practice of the season (thus necessitating the auditions and Missy joining the team):
Les: You know, everyone's saying that your ambition broke Carver's leg.
- The auditions scene, including one of the male cheerleaders being Distracted by the Sexy enough to fall backwards out of his chair.
- The carwash scene. Missy is just so blunt.
Cliff: I begged my mom for a brother.Torrance: He'd look a little ridiculous in that bikini, wouldn't he?
- "You...are cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."
Roman: Smile.Missy grimaces at him.Roman: Don't smile.
- Missy reflects on the atmosphere of a national cheer competition:
Missy: I don't know what's scarier, neurotic cheerleaders or the pressure to win. I could make a killing selling something like Diet Prozac.
- A coach at the finals giving a pep talk to a nervous cheerleader:
Coach: "The most important thing is to relax-"[Cheerleader covers coach in vomit]
- Torrance is annoyed because her mom wants her to focus more on academics.
Torrance: You know, mothers have killed to get their daughters on squads.Mrs. Shipman: That mother didn't kill anyone. She hired a hitman.
- Britney is having a freak-out over something, to the confusion of her team mates. One of them figures she's suffering caffeine withdrawal, because "coffee is like crack to white people."