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- Episode 28: Alienator, Alien from the Deep, Hands of Steel
- As the crew were about to finish discussing Alienator...Mike: Jay, would you recommend Alienator?
Jay: (chuckling) This isn't Half in the Bag! That's not how this works!
(Mike gives a very embarrassed take) - Rape as Drama is such a common trope in the movies that they watch that Mike accidentally misreads the synopsis of Alien from the Deep thinking that it was a part of that movie as well.Mike: "The super-hot Maria- Giulia Cuvelli- manages to escape, and she is savaged by a snake farmer who lives alone in the jungle."
Jack: So one of the hippies who tried to protect the volcano gets raped by a snake farmer.
Mike: Yes.
Jack: That's great, that's great.
Mike: Oh, I'm sorry! Uh, completely different, uh, connotation here, I...did I say "savaged"?
Jack: You said savaged.
Mike: Okay, "saved".
Jack: (laughs)
Mike: I was wondering why they would work together to bring down the company after she was "savaged" by him, but I misread "saved".
- As the crew were about to finish discussing Alienator...
- Episode 29: Blood Debts, The Tomb, Undefeatable
- "Rich Evans Is Defeatable", complete with an edited version of Undefeatable's opening. Pay special attention to Mike both times.
- Rich's inability to say the word "necessitate" without screwing it up.Rich: He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessisate- nessitate two.
Josh: You think you can get there?
Jack: Try that again.
Rich: He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessitate two.
Josh: You think you can get there? "Necessitate".
Rich: Necessitate.
Mike: Do you want another beer, Rich?
Rich: Ness- Huh?
Jay: It's "necessitate".
Mike: You're missing a whole syllable.
Rich: He doesn't have enough eyes yet to nesessisate- nesett- nett- FUCK IT! Fuck it, I'm done! - This leads Rich to muse that he could be working in a tollbooth instead of this, which prompts Josh to quip "You think you could get that job?". This finally breaks Rich, who gets up to leave, leading Mike to decide he was "Defeatable".
- Rich's inability to say the word "necessitate" without screwing it up.
- Later, when the panel is discussing the street fighting as it's portrayed in Undefeatable, Mike remarks that it's like the touch football version of actual street fighting. Not ten seconds later, Rich says the same thing, which Josh and Jack promptly point out. This also breaks Rich, who gets up and leaves yet again as everything goes off the rails, with Mike trying not to do a Spit Take, Josh laughing so hard his head resembles a ripe tomato, and Jack just declaring the show to be over.
- When Josh is reading the description for Undefeatable...Josh: "A brutal killer ignites the fight of a lifetime. Karate champion and martial arts superstar Cynthia Rothrock", remember Cynthia Rothrock?
Rich: Was she on The Flintstones?
(Beat as the music stops and the two stare at each other)
- "Rich Evans Is Defeatable", complete with an edited version of Undefeatable's opening. Pay special attention to Mike both times.
- Wheel of the Worst #8note :
- One of the tapes on the wheel is a Y2K survival guide hosted by Leonard Nimoy. Mike says from behind the camera "It's a good thing it wasn't a COPD survival guide".
- One of the other tapes is a birthday party entertainment tape, and one of the features listed is "kids make their own balloon animals". Jack jokes that they should go and get balloons. Mike says "We have condoms. A lot of them."
- Rich Evans tells a story about a guy he once knew that had a full-sized poster of himself as a kid in a Wendy's ad hanging up in his bedroom. While the point was to compare it to the video with the failed child actors, the rest of the panel just riffs on Rich's story.Rich: You're an old man now. Take that picture of you in a Wendy's ad from 1991 off of the fucking wall.
Mike: The real question is "how did you end up in his bedroom?"
Rich: He was just showing me his place. He was like, "Come on, come on here and see this."
Jay: That's how they get you. That's why you don't talk to strangers, Rich. You needed this video.
Mike: Did he try to sell you Amway? Or did he try to put his finger in your ass?
Rich: What the fuck, Mike?
Jack: Did he turn on Huey Lewis and the News and put on a poncho?
Rich: He showed me his Warhammer figurines.
Jack: Oh. Oooooooh.
Mike: Did he take his balls out? His baseballs, 'cause you guys are avid fans of minor league baseball.
Jack: Did he take his warhammer out?
Mike: He said he had two big ones. He wants to show you his minor league bat and balls.
Rich: I hate you so much.
Jay: Rich, you started to tell a story about a guy inviting you over to his house and you going into his bedroom. You had to have known this was gonna happen.
Mike: After you guys both shared a footlong after the baseball game, he said (Corpsing) "put this wiener in your mouth". "You wanna share a weiner?" That's what he said. And Rich said, "Okay!" "Let's [get] back at my place. I wanna show you my 'Wendy's ad'". Yeah right. - One of the segments in Twentieth Anniversary Geritol Follies has a short haired saxophone player, which prompts this quip from Mike.Mike: [In a Scottish accent] "Its a lesbian? With a saxophone? That's the only time she put something in her mouth! Oh ho ho ho ho!! At least if she is a lesbian, she can't get AIDS! [corpsing] Ohohohohohooooooo!!"
Jack: What!?
Mike: I don't know...
Rich: She'll never have children.
Mike: "She can't have children if she's a lesbian!" - Upon mentioning how Eddie Eagle managed to always show up to the window of a kid with a gun, Rich puts forward the hypothetical scenario where Eddie Eagle shows up too late
.Eddie!Jack: I fucked up, man! I fucked up bad!
- Episode #31: Lady Terminator, Lost in Dinosaur World, Low Blow
- The group are absolutely enamored with Leo Fong's character in Low Blow (who they refer to exclusively as "Low Blow") for how he subverts every cool action hero trope by being just a lazy slob with The Alleged Car.
- Leo Fong kills a man by stomping down on his head, crushing it to a pulp, sending the crew into hysterics.Mike: His head turned into a cake!
- In Wheel of the Worst #9, the crew is so bored from the third tape that Rich Evans wordlessly steps out, goes back to the wheel, and rips Rainbow's Remedy off of it.
- The whole panel seeing Eloise Cole in her clown outfit as a demon. Rich Evans calls her the Mesopotamian death goddess Eloisecol.
- Which begat this comment from WotW #14:Blue Laser: Looking through my texts, I see no references to any demon named "Eloisecole". However, some bas-relief carvings unearthed in the Fertile Crescent do mention an entity named "Eloah Iz'Kul", ancient Sumerian for "she who devours all sorrows". The acolytes of Eloah believed that she would appear on Earth during a time of great strife to consume the souls of the grieving. It was said that her coming would be heralded by a skull of crystal filled with libations, and a man with the laugh of a jackal.
- Which begat this comment
- The discussion for Backyard Stunting turns into a barrage of gay jokes.
- The panel makes a bunch of jokes about how Eloise Cole wanted people to die so that she could feed off of their grief and turn them into clowns.
- After their jokes, Jay tells the panel from off camera that Eloise Cole is dead. Colin bursts out laughing, and Highway to Hell starts playing.
- The whole panel seeing Eloise Cole in her clown outfit as a demon. Rich Evans calls her the Mesopotamian death goddess Eloisecol.
- Jack correctly figures out that The Jar was basically a college art film within seconds of it starting, before a single visual had appeared on screen.
- From the same episode: everyone's horrified reactions to Robert Ginty's character having some seriously strong vibes about having sex with his sister in White Fire.
- Each of the three times Mike starts taking a long drink from his oversized novelty flask, accompanied by the mournful tones of Greenwich Village and slowly washing out all the color.
- At the beginning of The Jar, the group notices a near-cinematic shot of the protagonist's face being lit up during a head-on driving scene.Rich: But what suddenly turned on in the car to light up his face?
Josh: Oh, his crotch turned on. - Rich inflicting the task of explaining The Jar on Mike.
Rich: "Mike, would you tell us all about The Jar, because fuck you?"- When Josh insinuates that there might have been something interesting in The Jar.Jay: There's nothing funny-bad in this.
Josh & Mike: No.
Jay: And there's nothing interesting.
Josh: (High-pitched "I don't know about that" noise)
Rich: No. No! (points at Josh) No! - When The Jar is selected to be destroyed, Scientist Man returns to put the VHS tape into a jar of acetone.
- Rich (and, eventually, the rest of the crew's) rapid Sanity Slippage while watching and then trying to describe the plot of Double Down, which is enough to reduce Max Landis to tears.
- Max, Jay, and Mike egging on Rich produces some truly stand-out Rich-isms."I need to think about this, goddammit! You can't just interrupt me when I'm talking about a Neil Breen film."
"WE SEE HIS BALLSACK! WE SEE HIS BALLSACK!! He's the best! He has the best ball sack! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"This movie is nothing but stuff. It's meaningless, empty stuff that has no purpose. But it's the best stuff! It's the best stuff that has ever been, because Neil Breen is the best at stuff, and Neil Breen is the best person who has ever eaten tuna!" - This gem:Max: Is she a skull or a ghost?
Rich: Well, sometimes she's a skost. - As Rich's frenzied explanations continue, the number of jump cuts keeps increasing as we keep shifting between different angles of the group at the table and clips of the film, making it look like the video is having a seizure because of how stupid the movie is.
- Josh isn't on the panel, but his outburst of "FUCK YOU, TUNA! I DON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE!" during the screening stands out as indicative of just how much an effect the film had on its viewers.
- Many of the general reactions to the film as the crew watches it are hilarious themselves- both Max and Mike slip out of their seats to get closer to the screen, Jack assumes a quasi-kung fu stance in an effort to understand some scenes, and Josh violently pounds on the sofa in reaction to Breen's character literally curing cancer.
- Max sums up the movie thusly:Max: Honestly, our review for this movie, us all just descending into lunacy while Rich tried to explain, I started weeping. I was full crying, and not in a "ha-ha" way. Like in the end of 2001. I was a monkey looking at a monolith. I saw myself as a baby floating in space. Fuck this movie. Fuck this! Seven days! I feel like I just saw something not of this earth.
- Rich's reaction to being informed that Blues Brothers 2000 is a sequel.Rich: THERE WAS A FIRST ONE?!
- Rich mocking the tacked-on questions regarding How I Saved The President's nonexistent morals, by saying that you could apply similar questions to Taxi Driver.Rich: Travis Bickle tried to shoot the senator. Is that wrong?
- Max cutting off Mike's gay joke at Jay's expense. "Because he's gay, Mike! Leave it alone!"
- Max, Jay, and Mike egging on Rich produces some truly stand-out Rich-isms.
- A Very Cannon Christmas (Death Wish 3, The Christmas Tree, Invasion U.S.A. (1985))
- One moment during the screening of Death Wish 3 has this caption added: "Mike and Jay laugh at violent elderly abuse".
- As they compare the traps Charles Bronson sets up to those in Home Alone, Rich addresses the camera, whispering "call us!" and making a phone gesture with his hand, referring to Macaulay Culkin who made a special cameo appearance in the last episode. Mike then says: "Rich has a crush on you. He wants to be 'home alone' with you."
- Mike notes about the film: "A lot of booms, but no boom mics."
- While covering Invasion USA, Mike keeps referring to Richard Lynch as David Bowie. They surmise that it may be partly due to them looking extremely similar. Jay is pretty adamant that they look nothing alike. A side-by-side comparison of the two is then shown with a Best of the Worst Fun Fact: "Richard Lynch looks exactly like David Bowie".
- Chuck Norris has so many Big Damn Heroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.[After Hunter thwarts the terrorists' attempt to blow up a house.]
Rich: How is he finding these people?
Josh: He's got Chuck Norris radar.
Jay: He's got his intuition.
Rich: He's got terrorist senses. - Mike at one point gets exasperated by Chuck Norris's lack of acting skill.[As Hunter is slowly getting rid of his guns in the movie.]
Mike: Should he be acting here? Like... [mimes checking guns for ammo in a rush] Like, putting in [magazines]... Or is...
Jay: He's calm, he's cool.
Josh: Yeah, he's unflappable.
Rich: He's a big badass.
Mike: Yeah, I get that, but...
Jay: Also, he can't act.
- Chuck Norris has so many Big Damn Heroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.
- One moment during the screening of Death Wish 3 has this caption added: "Mike and Jay laugh at violent elderly abuse".
