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-->'''Mike:''' Jay, would you recommend ''Alienator''?\\
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--->'''Rich:''' He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessisate- nessitate two.\\
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--->"[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnst3ld9JiQ Rich Evans is Defeatable]]"
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-->'''Josh:''' "A brutal killer ignites the fight of a lifetime. Karate champion and martial arts superstar Cynthia Rothrock", remember Cynthia Rothrock?
-->'''Rich:''' Was she on ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones''?
-->''({{Beat}} as the music stops and the two stare at each other)''
-->'''Rich:''' Was she on ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones''?
-->''({{Beat}} as the music stops and the two stare at each other)''
to:
-->'''Rich:'''
'''Rich:''' Was she on
-->''({{Beat}}
''({{Beat}} as the music stops and the two stare at each other)''
Changed line(s) 69 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Mike''': His head turned into a cake!
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---> '''Blue Laser:''' Looking through my texts, I see no references to any demon named "Eloisecole". However, some bas-relief carvings unearthed in the Fertile Crescent do mention an entity named "Eloah Iz'Kul", ancient Sumerian for "she who devours all sorrows". The acolytes of Eloah believed that she would appear on Earth during a time of great strife to consume the souls of the grieving. It was said that her coming would be heralded by a [[{{Creator/DanAykroyd}} skull of crystal filled with libations,]] and a man with the laugh of a jackal.
to:
Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jay:''' There's nothing funny-bad in this.\\
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--->'''Max''': Is she a skull or a ghost?\\
'''Rich''': Well, sometimes she's a [[{{Portmanteau}} skost]].
'''Rich''': Well, sometimes she's a [[{{Portmanteau}} skost]].
to:
Changed line(s) 104 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Max''': Honestly, our review for this movie, us all just descending into lunacy while Rich tried to explain, I started weeping. I was full crying, and not in a "ha-ha" way. Like in the end of ''[[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey 2001]]''. I was a monkey looking at a monolith. I saw myself as a baby floating in space. Fuck this movie. Fuck this! [[Film/TheRing Seven days!]] I feel like I just saw something not of this earth.
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Changed line(s) 106 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Rich''': THERE WAS A FIRST ONE?!
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Changed line(s) 108 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Rich''': Travis Bickle tried to [[spoiler:shoot the senator.]] Is that wrong?
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--->''[After Hunter thwarts the terrorists' attempt to blow up a house.]''\\
'''Rich''': How is he finding these people?\\
'''Josh''': He's got Chuck Norris radar.\\
'''Jay''': He's got his intuition.\\
'''Rich''': He's got terrorist senses.
'''Rich''': How is he finding these people?\\
'''Josh''': He's got Chuck Norris radar.\\
'''Jay''': He's got his intuition.\\
'''Rich''': He's got terrorist senses.
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--->''[As Hunter is slowly getting rid of his guns in the movie.]''\\
'''Mike''': Should he be acting here? Like... ''[mimes checking guns for ammo in a rush]'' Like, putting in [magazines]... Or is...\\
'''Jay''': He's calm, he's cool.\\
'''Josh''': Yeah, he's unflappable.\\
'''Rich''': He's a big badass.\\
'''Mike''': Yeah, I get that, but...\\
'''Jay''': Also, he can't act.
'''Mike''': Should he be acting here? Like... ''[mimes checking guns for ammo in a rush]'' Like, putting in [magazines]... Or is...\\
'''Jay''': He's calm, he's cool.\\
'''Josh''': Yeah, he's unflappable.\\
'''Rich''': He's a big badass.\\
'''Mike''': Yeah, I get that, but...\\
'''Jay''': Also, he can't act.
to:
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--->"Rich Evans is Defeatable"
** Later, when the panel is discussing the street fighting as it's portrayed in ''Undefeatable'', Mike remarks that it's like the touch football version of actual street fighting. Not ten seconds later, Rich says the same thing, which Josh and Jack promptly point out. This also breaks Rich, who gets up and leaves yet again.
** Later, when the panel is discussing the street fighting as it's portrayed in ''Undefeatable'', Mike remarks that it's like the touch football version of actual street fighting. Not ten seconds later, Rich says the same thing, which Josh and Jack promptly point out. This also breaks Rich, who gets up and leaves yet again.
to:
** Later, when the panel is discussing the street fighting as it's portrayed in ''Undefeatable'', Mike remarks that it's like the touch football version of actual street fighting. Not ten seconds later, Rich says the same thing, which Josh and Jack promptly point out. This also breaks Rich, who gets up and leaves yet
Changed line(s) 95 (click to see context) from:
"WE SEE HIS BALLSACK! ''WE SEE HIS BALLSACK!!'' He's the best! [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext He has the best ballsack!]] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"\\
to:
"WE SEE HIS BALLSACK! ''WE SEE HIS BALLSACK!!'' He's the best! [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext He has the best ballsack!]] ball sack!]] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"\\
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* In their "A Very Cannon Christmas" video, while covering ''Film/InvasionUSA1985'', Mike keeps referring to Richard Lynch as Creator/DavidBowie. They surmise that it may be partly due to them looking extremely similar. Jay is pretty adamant that they look nothing alike. A side-by-side comparison of the two is then shown with a Best of the Worst Fun Fact: "Richard Lynch looks exactly like David Bowie".
** Chuck Norris has so many BigDamnHeroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.
** Chuck Norris has so many BigDamnHeroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.
to:
* In their "A ''A Very Cannon Christmas" video, while Christmas'' (''Film/DeathWish3'', ''WesternAnimation/TheChristmasTree'', ''Film/InvasionUSA1985'')
** One moment during the screening of ''Death Wish 3'' has this caption added: "Mike and Jay laugh at violent elderly abuse".
*** As they compare the traps Charles Bronson sets up to those in ''Film/HomeAlone'', Rich addresses the camera, whispering "call us!" and making a phone gesture with his hand, referring to Creator/MacaulayCulkin who made a special cameo appearance in the last episode. Mike then says: "Rich has a crush on you. He wants to be 'home alone' with you."
*** Mike notes about the film: "A lot of ''[[StuffBlowingUp booms]]'', but no ''boom mics''."
** While covering''Film/InvasionUSA1985'', ''Invasion USA'', Mike keeps referring to Richard Lynch as Creator/DavidBowie. They surmise that it may be partly due to them looking extremely similar. Jay is pretty adamant that they look nothing alike. A side-by-side comparison of the two is then shown with a Best of the Worst Fun Fact: "Richard Lynch looks exactly like David Bowie".
** *** Chuck Norris has so many BigDamnHeroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.
** One moment during the screening of ''Death Wish 3'' has this caption added: "Mike and Jay laugh at violent elderly abuse".
*** As they compare the traps Charles Bronson sets up to those in ''Film/HomeAlone'', Rich addresses the camera, whispering "call us!" and making a phone gesture with his hand, referring to Creator/MacaulayCulkin who made a special cameo appearance in the last episode. Mike then says: "Rich has a crush on you. He wants to be 'home alone' with you."
*** Mike notes about the film: "A lot of ''[[StuffBlowingUp booms]]'', but no ''boom mics''."
** While covering
Changed line(s) 117 (click to see context) from:
** Mike at one point gets exasperated by Chuck Norris's lack of acting skill.
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** Leo Fong kills a man by ''stomping down on his head, crushing it to a pulp'', sending the crew into hysterics.
---> '''Mike''': His head turned into a cake!
---> '''Mike''': His head turned into a cake!
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** Rich inflicting the task of explaining [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible The Jar]] on Mike.
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** Rich inflicting the task of explaining [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible The Jar]] Jar on Mike.
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** From the same episode: everyone's horrified reactions to Robert Ginty's character having some seriously strong vibes about having sex with his sister in ''White Fire''.
to:
** From the same episode: everyone's horrified reactions to Robert Ginty's character having some seriously strong vibes about having sex with his sister in ''White Fire''.''Film/WhiteFire''.
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Click [[Funny/BestOfTheWorst here]] to return to the index.
----
----
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Found a great comment to tie in with the Wheel of the Worst #9 entry.
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*** Which begat [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtshsLOoMbM&lc=UggRhn3vjU620HgCoAEC this comment]] from ''[=WotW=] #14'':
---> '''Blue Laser:''' Looking through my texts, I see no references to any demon named "Eloisecole". However, some bas-relief carvings unearthed in the Fertile Crescent do mention an entity named "Eloah Iz'Kul", ancient Sumerian for "she who devours all sorrows". The acolytes of Eloah believed that she would appear on Earth during a time of great strife to consume the souls of the grieving. It was said that her coming would be heralded by a [[{{Creator/DanAykroyd}} skull of crystal filled with libations,]] and a man with the laugh of a jackal.
---> '''Blue Laser:''' Looking through my texts, I see no references to any demon named "Eloisecole". However, some bas-relief carvings unearthed in the Fertile Crescent do mention an entity named "Eloah Iz'Kul", ancient Sumerian for "she who devours all sorrows". The acolytes of Eloah believed that she would appear on Earth during a time of great strife to consume the souls of the grieving. It was said that her coming would be heralded by a [[{{Creator/DanAykroyd}} skull of crystal filled with libations,]] and a man with the laugh of a jackal.
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Split content here as the original page was getting too long.
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* Episode 28: ''Alienator'', ''Alien from the Deep'', ''Hands of Steel''
** As the crew were about to finish discussing ''Alienator''...
-->'''Mike:''' Jay, would you recommend ''Alienator''?\\
'''Jay:''' ''(chuckling)'' This isn't ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag''! That's not how this works!\\
''(Mike gives a very embarrassed take)''
** RapeAsDrama is such a common trope in the movies that they watch that Mike accidentally misreads the synopsis of ''Alien from the Deep'' thinking that it was a part of that movie as well.
--->'''Mike:''' "The super-hot Maria- Giulia Cuvelli- manages to escape, and she is savaged by a snake farmer who lives alone in the jungle."\\
'''Jack:''' So one of the hippies who tried to protect the volcano gets raped by a snake farmer.\\
'''Mike:''' Yes.\\
'''Jack:''' That's great, that's great.\\
'''Mike:''' Oh, I'm sorry! Uh, completely different, uh, connotation here, I...did I say "savaged"?\\
'''Jack:''' You said savaged.\\
'''Mike:''' Okay, "saved".\\
'''Jack:''' ''(laughs)''\\
'''Mike:''' I was wondering why they would work together to bring down the company after she was "savaged" by him, but I misread "saved".
* Episode 29: ''Blood Debts'', ''The Tomb'', ''Film/{{Undefeatable}}''
** "Rich Evans Is Defeatable", complete with an edited version of ''Undefeatable'''s opening. Pay special attention to Mike both times.
*** Rich's inability to say the word "necessitate" without screwing it up.
--->'''Rich:''' He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessisate- nessitate two.\\
'''Josh:''' You think you can get there?\\
'''Jack:''' Try that again.\\
'''Rich:''' He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessitate two.\\
'''Josh:''' You think you can get there? "Necessitate".\\
'''Rich:''' Necessitate.\\
'''Mike:''' Do you want another beer, Rich?\\
'''Rich:''' Ness- Huh?\\
'''Jay:''' It's "necessitate".\\
'''Mike:''' You're missing a whole syllable.\\
'''Rich:''' He doesn't have enough eyes yet to nesessisate- nesett- nett- FUCK IT! Fuck it, I'm done!
*** This leads Rich to muse that he could be working in a tollbooth instead of this, which prompts Josh to quip "You think you could get that job?". This finally breaks Rich, who gets up to leave, leading Mike to decide he was "Defeatable".
--->"Rich Evans is Defeatable"
** Later, when the panel is discussing the street fighting as it's portrayed in ''Undefeatable'', Mike remarks that it's like the touch football version of actual street fighting. Not ten seconds later, Rich says the same thing, which Josh and Jack promptly point out. This also breaks Rich, who gets up and leaves yet again.
** When Josh is reading the description for ''Undefeatable''...
-->'''Josh:''' "A brutal killer ignites the fight of a lifetime. Karate champion and martial arts superstar Cynthia Rothrock", remember Cynthia Rothrock?
-->'''Rich:''' Was she on ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones''?
-->''({{Beat}} as the music stops and the two stare at each other)''
* ''Wheel of the Worst #8''[[note]]"Let's Sing and Dance Music Video", "Twentieth Anniversary Geritol Follies", "Gun Safety with Eddie Eagle[[/note]]:
** One of the tapes on the wheel is a [[MillenniumBug Y2K]] survival guide hosted by Creator/LeonardNimoy. Mike says from behind the camera "It's a good thing it wasn't a COPD survival guide".
** One of the other tapes is a birthday party entertainment tape, and one of the features listed is "kids make their own balloon animals". Jack jokes that they should go and get balloons. Mike says "We have condoms. ''A lot of them''."
** Rich Evans tells a story about a guy he once knew that had a full-sized poster of himself as a kid in a Wendy's ad hanging up in his bedroom. While the point was to compare it to the video with the failed child actors, the rest of the panel just riffs on Rich's story.
--->'''Rich:''' You're an old man now. Take that picture of you in a Wendy's ad from 1991 off of the fucking wall.\\
'''Mike:''' The real question is "how did you end up in his bedroom?"\\
'''Rich:''' He was just showing me his place. He was like, "Come on, come on here and see this."\\
'''Jay:''' That's how they get you. That's why you don't talk to strangers, Rich. You needed this video.\\
'''Mike:''' Did he try to sell you Amway? [[RefugeInAudacity Or did he try to put his finger in your ass?]]\\
'''Rich:''' What the fuck, Mike?\\
'''Jack:''' Did he [[Film/AmericanPsycho turn on Huey Lewis and the News and put on a poncho?]]\\
'''Rich:''' He showed me his ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}}'' figurines.\\
'''Mike:''' Did he take his balls out? His baseballs, 'cause you guys are avid fans of minor league baseball.\\
'''Jack:''' Did he take his warhammer out?\\
'''Mike:''' He said he had two big ones. He wants to show you his minor league bat and balls.\\
'''Rich:''' I hate you so much.\\
'''Jay:''' Rich, you started to tell a story about a guy inviting you over to his house and you going into his bedroom. You had to have known this was gonna happen.\\
'''Mike:''' After you guys both shared a footlong after the baseball game, he said ({{Corpsing}}) "put this wiener in your mouth". "You wanna share a weiner?" That's what he said. And Rich said, "Okay!" "Let's [get] back at my place. I wanna show you my [[UnusualEuphemism 'Wendy's ad']]". Yeah right.
** One of the segments in ''Twentieth Anniversary Geritol Follies'' has a short haired saxophone player, which prompts this quip from Mike.
--->'''Mike:''' ''[In a Scottish accent]'' "Its a lesbian? With a saxophone? That's the only time she put something in her mouth! ''Oh ho ho ho ho!!'' At least if she is a lesbian, she can't get AIDS! ''[{{corpsing}}] Ohohohohohooooooo!!''"\\
'''Jack:''' What!?\\
'''Mike:''' I don't know...\\
'''Rich:''' She'll never have ''children''.\\
'''Mike:''' "She can't have children if she's a lesbian!"
** Upon mentioning how Eddie Eagle [[ContrivedCoincidence managed]] to ''always'' show up to the window of a kid with a gun, Rich puts forward the hypothetical scenario where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0wdZHNwV7s&t=40m53s Eddie Eagle shows up too late]].
--->'''Eddie!Jack''': ''I fucked up, man! I fucked up bad!''
* Episode #31: ''Lady Terminator'', ''Lost in Dinosaur World'', ''Low Blow''
** The group are absolutely enamored with Leo Fong's character in ''Low Blow'' (who they refer to exclusively as "Low Blow") for how he subverts every cool action hero trope by being just a lazy slob with TheAllegedCar.
* In ''Wheel of the Worst #9'', the crew is so bored from the third tape that Rich Evans wordlessly steps out, goes back to the wheel, and rips ''Rainbow's Remedy'' off of it.
** The whole panel seeing Eloise Cole in her clown outfit as a demon. Rich Evans calls her the Mesopotamian death goddess Eloisecol.
** The discussion for ''Backyard Stunting'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext turns into a barrage]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice of gay jokes]].
** The panel makes a bunch of jokes about how Eloise Cole wanted people to die so that she could feed off of their grief and turn them into clowns.
*** After their jokes, Jay tells the panel from off camera that Eloise Cole is dead. Colin bursts out laughing, and ''[[Music/{{ACDC}} Highway to Hell]]'' starts playing.
* Jack correctly figures out that ''The Jar'' was basically a college art film within seconds of it starting, before a ''single visual'' had appeared on screen.
** From the same episode: everyone's horrified reactions to Robert Ginty's character having some seriously strong vibes about having sex with his sister in ''White Fire''.
** Each of the [[RuleOfThree three times]] Mike starts [[INeedAFreakingDrink taking a long drink]] from his oversized novelty flask, accompanied by the mournful tones of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnik-jU0HgA Greenwich Village]] and slowly [[ColorFailure washing out all the color.]]
** At the beginning of ''The Jar'', the group notices a near-cinematic shot of the protagonist's face being lit up during a head-on driving scene.
--->'''Rich:''' But what suddenly turned on in the car to light up his face?\\
'''Josh:''' Oh, his crotch turned on.
** Rich inflicting the task of explaining [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible The Jar]] on Mike.
-->'''Rich:''' "Mike, would you tell us all about ''The Jar'', because fuck you?"
** When Josh insinuates that there might have been something interesting in ''The Jar''.
-->'''Jay:''' There's nothing funny-bad in this.\\
'''Josh & Mike:''' No.\\
'''Jay:''' And there's nothing interesting.\\
'''Josh:''' ''(High-pitched "I don't know about that" noise)''\\
'''Rich:''' No. No! ''(points at Josh)'' No!
** When ''The Jar'' is selected to be destroyed, Scientist Man returns to put the VHS tape [[DeathByIrony into a jar of acetone]].
* Rich (and, eventually, the rest of the crew's) rapid SanitySlippage while watching and then trying to describe the plot of ''Double Down'', which is enough to reduce Creator/MaxLandis to ''tears''.
** Max, Jay, and Mike egging on Rich produces some truly stand-out Rich-isms.
--->"I need to think about this, goddammit! You can't just interrupt me when I'm talking about a Creator/NeilBreen film."\\
"WE SEE HIS BALLSACK! ''WE SEE HIS BALLSACK!!'' He's the best! [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext He has the best ballsack!]] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"\\
"This movie is nothing but stuff. It's meaningless, empty stuff that has no purpose. But it's the best stuff! It's the best stuff that has ever been, because Creator/NeilBreen is the best at stuff, and Neil Breen is the best person who has ''ever eaten tuna''!"
** This gem:
--->'''Max''': Is she a skull or a ghost?\\
'''Rich''': Well, sometimes she's a [[{{Portmanteau}} skost]].
** As Rich's frenzied explanations continue, the number of jump cuts keeps increasing as we keep shifting between different angles of the group at the table and clips of the film, making it look like the video is ''having a seizure because of how stupid the movie is''.
** Josh isn't on the panel, but his outburst of "FUCK YOU, TUNA! I DON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE!" during the screening stands out as indicative of just how much an effect the film had on its viewers.
** Many of the general reactions to the film as the crew watches it are hilarious themselves- both Max and Mike slip out of their seats to get closer to the screen, Jack assumes a quasi-kung fu stance in an effort to understand some scenes, and Josh violently pounds on the sofa in reaction to Breen's character literally curing cancer.
** Max sums up the movie thusly:
--->'''Max''': Honestly, our review for this movie, us all just descending into lunacy while Rich tried to explain, I started weeping. I was full crying, and not in a "ha-ha" way. Like in the end of ''[[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey 2001]]''. I was a monkey looking at a monolith. I saw myself as a baby floating in space. Fuck this movie. Fuck this! [[Film/TheRing Seven days!]] I feel like I just saw something not of this earth.
** Rich's reaction to being informed that ''Film/BluesBrothers2000'' is a sequel.
--->'''Rich''': THERE WAS A FIRST ONE?!
** Rich mocking the tacked-on questions regarding ''How I Saved The President'''s [[LostAesop nonexistent morals]], by saying that you could apply similar questions to ''Film/TaxiDriver''.
--->'''Rich''': Travis Bickle tried to [[spoiler:shoot the senator.]] Is that wrong?
** Max cutting off Mike's gay joke at Jay's expense. "Because he's ''gay'', Mike! ''Leave it alone''!"
* In their "A Very Cannon Christmas" video, while covering ''Film/InvasionUSA1985'', Mike keeps referring to Richard Lynch as Creator/DavidBowie. They surmise that it may be partly due to them looking extremely similar. Jay is pretty adamant that they look nothing alike. A side-by-side comparison of the two is then shown with a Best of the Worst Fun Fact: "Richard Lynch looks exactly like David Bowie".
** Chuck Norris has so many BigDamnHeroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.
--->''[After Hunter thwarts the terrorists' attempt to blow up a house.]''\\
'''Rich''': How is he finding these people?\\
'''Josh''': He's got Chuck Norris radar.\\
'''Jay''': He's got his intuition.\\
'''Rich''': He's got terrorist senses.
** Mike at one point gets exasperated by Chuck Norris's lack of acting skill.
--->''[As Hunter is slowly getting rid of his guns in the movie.]''\\
'''Mike''': Should he be acting here? Like... ''[mimes checking guns for ammo in a rush]'' Like, putting in [magazines]... Or is...\\
'''Jay''': He's calm, he's cool.\\
'''Josh''': Yeah, he's unflappable.\\
'''Rich''': He's a big badass.\\
'''Mike''': Yeah, I get that, but...\\
'''Jay''': Also, he can't act.
----
** As the crew were about to finish discussing ''Alienator''...
-->'''Mike:''' Jay, would you recommend ''Alienator''?\\
'''Jay:''' ''(chuckling)'' This isn't ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag''! That's not how this works!\\
''(Mike gives a very embarrassed take)''
** RapeAsDrama is such a common trope in the movies that they watch that Mike accidentally misreads the synopsis of ''Alien from the Deep'' thinking that it was a part of that movie as well.
--->'''Mike:''' "The super-hot Maria- Giulia Cuvelli- manages to escape, and she is savaged by a snake farmer who lives alone in the jungle."\\
'''Jack:''' So one of the hippies who tried to protect the volcano gets raped by a snake farmer.\\
'''Mike:''' Yes.\\
'''Jack:''' That's great, that's great.\\
'''Mike:''' Oh, I'm sorry! Uh, completely different, uh, connotation here, I...did I say "savaged"?\\
'''Jack:''' You said savaged.\\
'''Mike:''' Okay, "saved".\\
'''Jack:''' ''(laughs)''\\
'''Mike:''' I was wondering why they would work together to bring down the company after she was "savaged" by him, but I misread "saved".
* Episode 29: ''Blood Debts'', ''The Tomb'', ''Film/{{Undefeatable}}''
** "Rich Evans Is Defeatable", complete with an edited version of ''Undefeatable'''s opening. Pay special attention to Mike both times.
*** Rich's inability to say the word "necessitate" without screwing it up.
--->'''Rich:''' He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessisate- nessitate two.\\
'''Josh:''' You think you can get there?\\
'''Jack:''' Try that again.\\
'''Rich:''' He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessitate two.\\
'''Josh:''' You think you can get there? "Necessitate".\\
'''Rich:''' Necessitate.\\
'''Mike:''' Do you want another beer, Rich?\\
'''Rich:''' Ness- Huh?\\
'''Jay:''' It's "necessitate".\\
'''Mike:''' You're missing a whole syllable.\\
'''Rich:''' He doesn't have enough eyes yet to nesessisate- nesett- nett- FUCK IT! Fuck it, I'm done!
*** This leads Rich to muse that he could be working in a tollbooth instead of this, which prompts Josh to quip "You think you could get that job?". This finally breaks Rich, who gets up to leave, leading Mike to decide he was "Defeatable".
--->"Rich Evans is Defeatable"
** Later, when the panel is discussing the street fighting as it's portrayed in ''Undefeatable'', Mike remarks that it's like the touch football version of actual street fighting. Not ten seconds later, Rich says the same thing, which Josh and Jack promptly point out. This also breaks Rich, who gets up and leaves yet again.
** When Josh is reading the description for ''Undefeatable''...
-->'''Josh:''' "A brutal killer ignites the fight of a lifetime. Karate champion and martial arts superstar Cynthia Rothrock", remember Cynthia Rothrock?
-->'''Rich:''' Was she on ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones''?
-->''({{Beat}} as the music stops and the two stare at each other)''
* ''Wheel of the Worst #8''[[note]]"Let's Sing and Dance Music Video", "Twentieth Anniversary Geritol Follies", "Gun Safety with Eddie Eagle[[/note]]:
** One of the tapes on the wheel is a [[MillenniumBug Y2K]] survival guide hosted by Creator/LeonardNimoy. Mike says from behind the camera "It's a good thing it wasn't a COPD survival guide".
** One of the other tapes is a birthday party entertainment tape, and one of the features listed is "kids make their own balloon animals". Jack jokes that they should go and get balloons. Mike says "We have condoms. ''A lot of them''."
** Rich Evans tells a story about a guy he once knew that had a full-sized poster of himself as a kid in a Wendy's ad hanging up in his bedroom. While the point was to compare it to the video with the failed child actors, the rest of the panel just riffs on Rich's story.
--->'''Rich:''' You're an old man now. Take that picture of you in a Wendy's ad from 1991 off of the fucking wall.\\
'''Mike:''' The real question is "how did you end up in his bedroom?"\\
'''Rich:''' He was just showing me his place. He was like, "Come on, come on here and see this."\\
'''Jay:''' That's how they get you. That's why you don't talk to strangers, Rich. You needed this video.\\
'''Mike:''' Did he try to sell you Amway? [[RefugeInAudacity Or did he try to put his finger in your ass?]]\\
'''Rich:''' What the fuck, Mike?\\
'''Jack:''' Did he [[Film/AmericanPsycho turn on Huey Lewis and the News and put on a poncho?]]\\
'''Rich:''' He showed me his ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}}'' figurines.\\
'''Mike:''' Did he take his balls out? His baseballs, 'cause you guys are avid fans of minor league baseball.\\
'''Jack:''' Did he take his warhammer out?\\
'''Mike:''' He said he had two big ones. He wants to show you his minor league bat and balls.\\
'''Rich:''' I hate you so much.\\
'''Jay:''' Rich, you started to tell a story about a guy inviting you over to his house and you going into his bedroom. You had to have known this was gonna happen.\\
'''Mike:''' After you guys both shared a footlong after the baseball game, he said ({{Corpsing}}) "put this wiener in your mouth". "You wanna share a weiner?" That's what he said. And Rich said, "Okay!" "Let's [get] back at my place. I wanna show you my [[UnusualEuphemism 'Wendy's ad']]". Yeah right.
** One of the segments in ''Twentieth Anniversary Geritol Follies'' has a short haired saxophone player, which prompts this quip from Mike.
--->'''Mike:''' ''[In a Scottish accent]'' "Its a lesbian? With a saxophone? That's the only time she put something in her mouth! ''Oh ho ho ho ho!!'' At least if she is a lesbian, she can't get AIDS! ''[{{corpsing}}] Ohohohohohooooooo!!''"\\
'''Jack:''' What!?\\
'''Mike:''' I don't know...\\
'''Rich:''' She'll never have ''children''.\\
'''Mike:''' "She can't have children if she's a lesbian!"
** Upon mentioning how Eddie Eagle [[ContrivedCoincidence managed]] to ''always'' show up to the window of a kid with a gun, Rich puts forward the hypothetical scenario where [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0wdZHNwV7s&t=40m53s Eddie Eagle shows up too late]].
--->'''Eddie!Jack''': ''I fucked up, man! I fucked up bad!''
* Episode #31: ''Lady Terminator'', ''Lost in Dinosaur World'', ''Low Blow''
** The group are absolutely enamored with Leo Fong's character in ''Low Blow'' (who they refer to exclusively as "Low Blow") for how he subverts every cool action hero trope by being just a lazy slob with TheAllegedCar.
* In ''Wheel of the Worst #9'', the crew is so bored from the third tape that Rich Evans wordlessly steps out, goes back to the wheel, and rips ''Rainbow's Remedy'' off of it.
** The whole panel seeing Eloise Cole in her clown outfit as a demon. Rich Evans calls her the Mesopotamian death goddess Eloisecol.
** The discussion for ''Backyard Stunting'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext turns into a barrage]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice of gay jokes]].
** The panel makes a bunch of jokes about how Eloise Cole wanted people to die so that she could feed off of their grief and turn them into clowns.
*** After their jokes, Jay tells the panel from off camera that Eloise Cole is dead. Colin bursts out laughing, and ''[[Music/{{ACDC}} Highway to Hell]]'' starts playing.
* Jack correctly figures out that ''The Jar'' was basically a college art film within seconds of it starting, before a ''single visual'' had appeared on screen.
** From the same episode: everyone's horrified reactions to Robert Ginty's character having some seriously strong vibes about having sex with his sister in ''White Fire''.
** Each of the [[RuleOfThree three times]] Mike starts [[INeedAFreakingDrink taking a long drink]] from his oversized novelty flask, accompanied by the mournful tones of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnik-jU0HgA Greenwich Village]] and slowly [[ColorFailure washing out all the color.]]
** At the beginning of ''The Jar'', the group notices a near-cinematic shot of the protagonist's face being lit up during a head-on driving scene.
--->'''Rich:''' But what suddenly turned on in the car to light up his face?\\
'''Josh:''' Oh, his crotch turned on.
** Rich inflicting the task of explaining [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible The Jar]] on Mike.
-->'''Rich:''' "Mike, would you tell us all about ''The Jar'', because fuck you?"
** When Josh insinuates that there might have been something interesting in ''The Jar''.
-->'''Jay:''' There's nothing funny-bad in this.\\
'''Josh & Mike:''' No.\\
'''Jay:''' And there's nothing interesting.\\
'''Josh:''' ''(High-pitched "I don't know about that" noise)''\\
'''Rich:''' No. No! ''(points at Josh)'' No!
** When ''The Jar'' is selected to be destroyed, Scientist Man returns to put the VHS tape [[DeathByIrony into a jar of acetone]].
* Rich (and, eventually, the rest of the crew's) rapid SanitySlippage while watching and then trying to describe the plot of ''Double Down'', which is enough to reduce Creator/MaxLandis to ''tears''.
** Max, Jay, and Mike egging on Rich produces some truly stand-out Rich-isms.
--->"I need to think about this, goddammit! You can't just interrupt me when I'm talking about a Creator/NeilBreen film."\\
"WE SEE HIS BALLSACK! ''WE SEE HIS BALLSACK!!'' He's the best! [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext He has the best ballsack!]] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"\\
"This movie is nothing but stuff. It's meaningless, empty stuff that has no purpose. But it's the best stuff! It's the best stuff that has ever been, because Creator/NeilBreen is the best at stuff, and Neil Breen is the best person who has ''ever eaten tuna''!"
** This gem:
--->'''Max''': Is she a skull or a ghost?\\
'''Rich''': Well, sometimes she's a [[{{Portmanteau}} skost]].
** As Rich's frenzied explanations continue, the number of jump cuts keeps increasing as we keep shifting between different angles of the group at the table and clips of the film, making it look like the video is ''having a seizure because of how stupid the movie is''.
** Josh isn't on the panel, but his outburst of "FUCK YOU, TUNA! I DON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE!" during the screening stands out as indicative of just how much an effect the film had on its viewers.
** Many of the general reactions to the film as the crew watches it are hilarious themselves- both Max and Mike slip out of their seats to get closer to the screen, Jack assumes a quasi-kung fu stance in an effort to understand some scenes, and Josh violently pounds on the sofa in reaction to Breen's character literally curing cancer.
** Max sums up the movie thusly:
--->'''Max''': Honestly, our review for this movie, us all just descending into lunacy while Rich tried to explain, I started weeping. I was full crying, and not in a "ha-ha" way. Like in the end of ''[[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey 2001]]''. I was a monkey looking at a monolith. I saw myself as a baby floating in space. Fuck this movie. Fuck this! [[Film/TheRing Seven days!]] I feel like I just saw something not of this earth.
** Rich's reaction to being informed that ''Film/BluesBrothers2000'' is a sequel.
--->'''Rich''': THERE WAS A FIRST ONE?!
** Rich mocking the tacked-on questions regarding ''How I Saved The President'''s [[LostAesop nonexistent morals]], by saying that you could apply similar questions to ''Film/TaxiDriver''.
--->'''Rich''': Travis Bickle tried to [[spoiler:shoot the senator.]] Is that wrong?
** Max cutting off Mike's gay joke at Jay's expense. "Because he's ''gay'', Mike! ''Leave it alone''!"
* In their "A Very Cannon Christmas" video, while covering ''Film/InvasionUSA1985'', Mike keeps referring to Richard Lynch as Creator/DavidBowie. They surmise that it may be partly due to them looking extremely similar. Jay is pretty adamant that they look nothing alike. A side-by-side comparison of the two is then shown with a Best of the Worst Fun Fact: "Richard Lynch looks exactly like David Bowie".
** Chuck Norris has so many BigDamnHeroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.
--->''[After Hunter thwarts the terrorists' attempt to blow up a house.]''\\
'''Rich''': How is he finding these people?\\
'''Josh''': He's got Chuck Norris radar.\\
'''Jay''': He's got his intuition.\\
'''Rich''': He's got terrorist senses.
** Mike at one point gets exasperated by Chuck Norris's lack of acting skill.
--->''[As Hunter is slowly getting rid of his guns in the movie.]''\\
'''Mike''': Should he be acting here? Like... ''[mimes checking guns for ammo in a rush]'' Like, putting in [magazines]... Or is...\\
'''Jay''': He's calm, he's cool.\\
'''Josh''': Yeah, he's unflappable.\\
'''Rich''': He's a big badass.\\
'''Mike''': Yeah, I get that, but...\\
'''Jay''': Also, he can't act.
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