Funny / Bad Movie Beatdown 2014 Episodes

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    Texas Chainsaw 3 D 
  • Pretty much every Breaking the Fourth Wall joke, to the point where there ends up being No Fourth Wall.
  • Welshy's condition that if he and Film Brain review this movie, he edits the title sequence.
    Film Brain: But you always edit the title sequence.
    Welshy: Well then that shouldn't be much of a problem, should it?
    One title sequence of mostly Welshy later.
    Film Brain *shocked*: You really are a troll, aren't you?
    Welshy *smiling*: Yes, I am.
  • FB and Welshy's interpretation of how the movie would've gone if Heather had read the note as she had got it rather than after Leatherface killed all her friends.

    Total Recall (2012) 
  • In the movie, the only two nations are The United Federation of Britain and Australia, dubbed The Colony, leading to:
    Film Brain: Good news British imperialists, give it another century or so and we'll have our colonies back and we'll put the Great in Great Britain again. (singing) Rule Britannia, Britannia rule the waves."
    • Even funnier when you notice that Mathew goes completely out of tune.
  • Taking a phone call on his hand:
    Film Brain: Yello! Yeah, I'm talking to you on my hand, mate! Isn't it great? Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yep. I'm going to get the new model next week, but with everything! I should have the use of my fingers back in about a month.
  • When discussing the film's overuse of Lens Flares, Film Brain's room suddenly becomes filled with them.
    Film Brain: Look Ma, I'm in the future! Ooh, sparkles!

    This Means War 
  • Every single joke lampshading the Ho Yay between Tuck and FDR.
    FDR: Hey, man. So, I'm a little worried. You haven't returned my calls for, like, an hour. So just give me a call if you're okay, okay? I said "okay", like, five times. Okay.
    Film Brain (as FDR): Hey, you'd better not be with a woman I warned you about, those creatures! Maybe you could come over to my place. Hang out, watch some TV together... (dreamily) crash out on the sofa... (defensively) I'M NOT GAY! (flips his eyes around to recede back into a stoic mode.)
    • Earlier:
    Tuck (talking about an old married couple): Can you imagine what that would be like? To share with a woman?
    FDR: No.
    Film Brain (as FDR): (nervously) Why can't you share that level of commitment with me? Your partner— (quickly) I mean at work, at work. DUDE, I'M NOT GAY!
  • FB enjoying the fact the film apparently thinks England hasn't progressed past sweatshops, leading to this:
    Film Brain: (a child coughing is heard) GET BACK TO WORK, CHIMNEY SWEEP, OR I'LL ONLY GIVE YOU HALF A SHILLING!
  • Rated PG-13 for Dirty Man Stink!

    Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace 

    The Love Guru 
  • On all the penis jokes: "You know, just once, instead of scribbling yet another penis joke onscreen, I'd like to see a vagina gag instead! You know, mix things up, equal opportunity and all that! The opening for it was right there!" (softly) "I'm so sorry, please forgive me!"
  • "Oh, hi. I decided to use the Morgan Freeman setting."
    Film Brain: Oh, Morgan, really?! I know you've become so known for voiceover that even making fun of how ubiquitous you are has become a cliche, but seriously, the Love Guru?! Were you trying to make those paycheck direct-to-video thrillers look good by comparison?
  • When a character notes that Roanoake brought hockey to a whole new audience, followed by a bunch of black people playing hockey:
    Film Brain: Black people playing hockey? (a Wikipedia page titled 'Black history in ice hockey' appears over the bottom of the screen) What an absurd notion! They don't practice hockey in the hood!
  • "Jacques "Le Coq" Grande, played by Justin Timberlake, so named because... well, take a wild freaking guess."
  • "And apparently Pitka is a celebrity in his own right, having given advice to the likes of The Beatles and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes in these sure not to date horrendous Photoshops!"
  • After the film displays a newspaper article titled 'Deepak Chopra #1, Guru Pitka still #2'
    Film Brain: On the front page no less! Wow, that must have been a really slow news day... as in there was no news at all.
  • 'Apparently the reason that Deepak is so popular is because he's guested on Oprah... just go with it.'
  • "The film then flashbacks within a flashback to thirty years ago, where Pitka and Deepak as boys go to visit- AAAAHHH!"
    Film Brain: Holy crap, that's terrifying! Who convinced them that putting Mike Myers' oversized head on a child body would be funny? I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks!
  • "I get the impression that because Pitka's an American, Myers can claim he isn't stereotyping Hindus or Indians with his performance. But have you seen Ben Kingsley?!"


    New Year's Eve