Funny / Archer Season Thirteen

The Big Con

• A man makes the mistake of giving Lana a Flirtatious Smack on the Ass. She responds by beating him up.
  Cyril: Should we.. do something?
  Ray: Like what? Get some popcorn?
• During the skydiving competition, Lana ends up puking on one of the other contestants due to drinking with Archer before the event.
• Krieger is able to incapacitate a man using an invention of his that he calls "The Wheel". It causes sexual stimulation in the target that can last for days.

Operation: Fang

• The episode starts out with the Agency sitting around a dying campfire in the jungle. Then it cuts to before that, with Ray insisting that the clearly unfit to fly plane that the Agency will be riding will be fine.
• Cheryl takes the time to lick toads, hoping to find one that will give her a trip.
• The reason Cheryl is on the mission is because Lana found her naked and about to start a fire in the office after hours.
  Lana: It was the best of my bad options.
• Ray suffers numerous injuries while trying to lead the team.
  • He gets bitten in the face by a snake after tripping on a baby tapir that Archer befriended.
  • One of his legs get bitten off by a hippo.
  • A spider bites him in the chin.
• Ray decides that he can fly a helicopter despite the fact that he's been rendered blind from both snake and spider venom.
• Archer's plan has a part where Lana has to save Cyril. To Cyril's dismay, that is exactly what happens.
  Cyril: (after Lana OHKO's the man about to attack Cyril) Dang it.

Saturday

• Archer isn't answering Fabian's calls because he's sleeping in bed with two women after a night of partying.
  • He claims that it involved him jousting with a female cop riding behind him on a horse.
    Lana: Yeah, there's no way that happened.
    • Becomes a Brick Joke when Archer finds the horse hitched up in his parking space.
• Throughout the episode, Archer compares Lana to Malory, as both are neglectful mothers.
  • The Broker himself gets in on it at one point.
    "Had an absent mother. It drove me to a life of crime."
• AJ effortlessly judo flips Cyril when the two spar at Pam's suggestion. It's so easy, that AJ actually gets bored of throwing him around.

Laws of Attraction

• Pam takes Fabian's joke seriously.
  Archer: Is there any part of IIA that isn't some kind of Kafka meets Brazil bureaucratic circle jerk?
  Fabian: See? This is why you lack vision. Our company mandated bi-quarterly circle jerks decrease sexual frustration and increase productivity 6%.
  Pam: Is he joking? Or is it about to get awesome in here?
• Cheryl yells "You're not my supervisor!" at Fabian before saying she quits.
  • After she does this, Krieger starts crying. Pam assures him that Cheryl will be back, but he reveals that he's actually crying about Helga.
    "Those Swiss bastards got their dirty cheese stinking fingers all over my beautiful device. Wait, where's Cheryl?"
• When Archer says it's time to go destroy the magnetic pulse generator, Fabian reminds him that they are going to reacquire it.
  Archer: Okay. Let's go destroy this thing.
  Fabian: Reacquire it.
  Archer: Eh, I doubt it. Have you met us? [drink alcohol before chuckling]
• Krieger jumps out of a helicopter while wearing a wingsuit in order to get his magnetic pulse generator back. Unfortunately, he neither trained for using a wingsuit nor how to land after releasing a parachute.

Out of Network

• Archer claims that he took down a drug kingpin last week, which is proof that he doesn't need an intervention. A flashback shows that he drunkenly knocked out a pharmacist.
• Krieger claims that an intervention isn't necessary as he can simply cut out the part of the brain causing the issue and replace it with nanobots he controls.
• Cyril's plan to get Dr. Lacania to escape is to have everyone, except Archer, dress up like her. At the time, she's wearing one of Malory's dresses, so they all have to dress up as Malory as well.

Bank Run on Mr. Bank's Bank

• Right after Archer makes a big speech on how the Agency is going to achieve victory by completing Fabian's last mission for them, it transitions to a Gilligan Cut that shows the various members of the Agency all trapped.
  Archer: [facepalms] That monkey is doomed.

Distraction Action

• Pam attempts to alleviate her boredom by playing sitcom audience reactions, to Archer's annoyance.
• Cheryl can only park her private airplane on Long Island.
  Archer: Gross.
  Cheryl: Tell me about it. But apparently, major airports hate when you transport tons of bombs. Or even say the word bomb.
• Lana guesses that the only reason Archer is motivated in getting everyone out of hiding to crush Fabian is because he ran out of alcohol to drink last night.
  Archer: No! [holds an empty bottle] It was this morning.
• Pam tries to blast right out of Krieger's van on her motorcycle, but the ramp gets stuck. She complains that it totally ruined her attempt to be sexy, but Cheryl at least is appreciative.
• When Lana is late for her custody hearing, she blames the receptionist, whom she calls a jackass and less articulate than Frankenstein. The judge then reveals that receptionist is his husband, who happens to have a speech impediment.
• Robert is completely bullshitting his way through the custody hearing, even quoting Bob Marley lyrics as some sort of argument. He also presents a crappy CGI re-enactment of AJ's kidnapping.
• After the judge rules that AJ will stay with Lana, he says that the kid is screwed either way.
• Cyril successfully distracts the FBI agents by going around pantsless and revealing his Gag Penis.
  Wally: Absolutely enormous. I, I mean.. does he need special pants?
  Female Agent: I swear to God it looked at me.
• Krieger reveals that his van can act as a boat so that they can get off the island of Manhattan and avoid the roadblocks the FBI set up. However, although it can float and move, it isn't fast.
  Lana: Krieger, we're only going like five miles an hour.
  Krieger: [chuckles] Try six.

Dough, Ray, and Me

• In the opening, Cheryl keeps screwing around, and Pam warns her that while she loves her, if she doesn't start helping, Pam will snap her vertebrae like pistachios. Cheryl, being Cheryl, takes this in entirely the wrong spirit.
  Cheryl: Aww, that does sound like love!
• Cheryl has apparently never heard of oven mitts.
• Krieger has been conducting an experiment to find out if sourdough starter is horny.
• When Archer asks Slater why he's hired them to assassinate Fabian, rather than having the CIA's own assassins do it, Slater responds that the CIA does not have hitmen, but also the hitmen that the CIA totally does not have are all currently busy.
• The gang takes a few shots at the CIA throughout the episode about how terrible it is, like how notorious they are for having moles in their agency or their tendency to interfere with the internal affairs of other countries.
  • After Archer makes a quip about it, Slater fires back at the fact that Archer has two children out of wedlock, who probably don't even see him as their father.
• Pam distracts Cheryl by throwing some fairy sticks in her direction.
• Krieger is hesitant to endanger Ray in the Agency's plan to assassinate Fabian because he's put lots of awesome tech in him.
  Krieger: Awww! But, it's Ray. I just, ugh, I just put so much awesome tech in him. He's more machine than man.
  
  Krieger: Not to be sentimental but, if Ray does die, I'd like my stuff back from his corpse. [sniffle] Did anybody bring a chainsaw?
• Archer shoots Fabian mid-monologue.
  • Lana finds this fair after Archer says he doesn't want to hear him give another speech.
• Fabian gets bitten by a spider mid-rant just as he's about to be taken by Interpol.

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