It may be a low-budget rip-off of Mystery Science Theater 3000, but it can be quite humorous when it wants to be.
Robot Monster:
- The fact that Mal took their ship, and proceeded to retrofit parts of it to fit their apartment. In particular, he turned the ship's seats and navigation screen into a convenient theater set-up. O.G. is not amused.Mal:: So, what do you think?O.G.: Well, it's not bad, cushion's comfortable.Mal:: Yeah, well I made it extra springy for your comfort.O.G.: Thank you...now help me put it back in the ship.Mal (brief pause): About that. Have you seen the screen? I mean, I think right there just ties the room together, you know it's a very, feng shui.O.G.: Dude, it's the same screen we've been looking at for years, IN THE SHIP, that's gonna take us HOME? NOW?(Mal raises a finger, lowers it immediately)Mal:: Have you seen the speaker system, cause it is awesome! I think it's my crowning achievement, it's like a concert hall with-O.G.: Hey.Beat.O.G.: Is that the REPULSER UNIT?!Mal: Yes, but MAN, you should hear the bass response, AH, cause it ROCKS!
- Apparently, the two crashed into the apartment when O.G. didn't take a left turn at Albuquerque.
- Mal proudly stating that they have five-hundred channels with his hand, only to be immediately corrected with "four" by O.G. due to him only having four fingers. Cue Verbal Backspace.
- "Oh, look. A multiple-choice movie!"
- "LOOK OUT, GIANT FLAMING...lizard?!"
- Mal tires of watching the reptiles fight in the movie, and tries to change the channel. He ends up getting the shark scene from A*P*E, followed by random footage of large crowds, which is presented as violence. O.G. loves it.Mal: There's violence everywhere! What's wrong with this planet?!
- Of course, after changing to a film scene that's about to show domestic violence, he just gives up with an exasperated "I can't believe it" and goes back to the movie.
- When Ro-Man appears for the first time:Mal: Look at my chest, it's made of the finest Corinthian leather!
- This exchange:Mal (before seeing footage of meteors):: I don't like this, I want the All-Rock Channel! Hehe...O.G.: That joke hurt me physically.Mal:: Hehehe, I can only hope.
- Later, O.G. makes a pun of his own to the audience as the film plods along.O.G.: While this part of the film is playing, I'm just gonna take a minute to count to sixty. One, two...Mal: And while he's counting to sixty, I'm going to take a minute to tell you how LAME that joke was.They stare at each other.O.G.: While he's telling you how lame that joke is, I'm gonna grab him in a very private place.Mal: And while he's grabbing me in a very private - (cue Instant Soprano) AH HA HA OUCH!O.G.: Done.Mal: I hate you.O.G.: I like that.
- Mal then lets out a small shriek when O.G. threatens to do it again due to the scene not being over.
- O.G. suggesting that the doctor use an electrified collar on the boy to keep him from running away.
- Mal portraying Ro-Man as a disgruntled actor looking to find craft services.
- An odd crashing sound in the film's soundtrack is interpreted as someone crashing into a drum set off-screen.
- O.G. and Mal cosplaying as Kirk and Spock completely out of nowhere. For one thing, the fake ears on Mal and the wig O.G. wears are totally ridiculous, but nowhere near as much as the two impersonating the speech patterns of Shatner and Nemoy.
- During a scene in which the female lead proposes to her boyfriend through miming, the hosts interpret it as her cheerfully calling him brainless.
- According to Mal, the scientist is reading to the little girl an erotic novel before the others show up, upon which he immediately shouts "Playing checkers!"
- The fight scene with Ro-man being sped-up while the hosts sing along to the Benny Hill theme.
- The hosts freaking out at the Gainax Ending with the Ro-Man showing up again and again.
- Mal giving O.G. a calcinator death ray (actually a bubble machine) just to get his spirits up. It works, but then O.G. decides to go outside to rob what he presumes are the corpses of everyone killed by the machine. Mal lets him, knowing he's in for an ass-kicking. Though depending on how you interpret the sounds after the fade to black, he might have actually gotten far.
Devil Bat
- One of the first lines:Mal: Hey, dude. I was getting a little hungry and I was wondering - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?O.J.: Aw, disabling young minds.Mal (groaning): This can't be good.
- Just the fact that O.J's grand plan is to use a children's program to gather brainwashed followers. Mal isn't having any of it.Mal (sighing):: You are evil.O.G.: And I have a winning smile. Know what else I have?O.G.: NO, I have my best friend Mal to help me.Mal (sputtering incredulously):: No, you don't-I'm not gonna-I'M NOT HELPING YOU, this plan is sick. YOU. ARE. SICK.O.G.: I. AM. ALSO, the only one who knows where I hid your pork rinds.Mal (horrified):: MY-PORK...Dude, you can't control the people.O.G.: But I don't want to CONTROL the people, I want to create chaos AMONGST the people! Then, when I bring order to the chaos, I'm king.(A Freeze-Frame Bonus message reads "SERENITY through SUBMISSION")Mal: But, where does that leave me?O.G.: You get to be...court jester.BeatMal: ...Later. (leaves)O.G.: Lady in waiting? How about pirmo wizard?(Mal zooms back)Mal: I can live with that.
- That stupid "children's edutainment program" jingle.
- Mal sounding so utterly bored at the beginning of the show, while O.G. takes an Excited Kids' Show Host persona.
- The book that the two are reading the movie from is almost as big as the TV itself.
- "COPYRIGHTINFRIGEMENT!"
- Mal noting that Uncle Bela's home is an authentic medieval castle, complete with a modern window and, as O.G. notes, authentic painted-on block walls.
- In keeping with the kid's show setup, O.G. innocently asks Mal for a word that starts with M like "mad". Mal cheerfully goes with morphine.
- Mal's almost childlike fascination with Uncle Bela's two secret passages, culminating with:Mal: Is there more for us to see?O.G.: You bet! Cause two plus one, iiiiisssss-Mal: Four!O.G.: YOU SUCK!Mal: I'm sorry.
- "For those of you who don't speak Legosi, he said, 'With electricity, I made a really big bat.'"
- This, as Bela is carrying the bat:O.G.: Now, Uncle Bela was-Mal: Is that his dry cleaning?O.G.: Shh! Now, Uncle Bela-Mal: Ah, that's his old Dracula suit!O.G.: SHHHH! Now, Uncle Be-Mal: Looks like something Adam West would wear.O.G.: DIE! Now, Uncle-oh, now you made me miss my place, ugh. Alright, basically, he puts the little bat in his bat-growing machine thing-Mal: I like to call it the easy-bat oven.O.G.: EH, DEDEY!! And the bat gets real big.
- "Pay attention kids, this is the longest shot of nothing you'll ever see."
- The numerous propaganda messages that appear every now and then for a second, including "You can't spell GOD without O.G.", "Mal is your pal", and, of all things, "eat at Joes".
- "Ah, Devil Bat! Medium rare! AH, AH, AH!"
- O.G. mockingly stating that Bela used to be Dracula and now he can't act his way out of a paper bag. They treat an Aside Glance from the actor like he heard them, startling them. Following that, they pretend to be on the other side of phone call with him, Mal asking if he's a part of the massage parlor.O.G.: Tell him I'm achy!
- (Thick Romanian accent) "Time to get blitzed!"
- The hosts using really thick French radio voices to melodramatically mouth off as newspapers are shown on the screen depicting the hysteria of the Devil Bat.Ze plot thickens, my pulse qqqqquickensss...
- Upon saying "What next, or should I say neck?", he bursts into uncontrollable laughter, prompting an Aside Glance from O.G. It lasts for a bit before O.G. brings his mood completely down by telling him that another character died.
- The Craft Corner, in which the hosts tell the viewers that they can make their own Devil Bat with some household stuff. The things Mal has on display include an etch-sketch, a pot, tin foil, and other Noodle Implements. And apparently, this can somehow make a fake bat. And kids can have the episode's craft segment (and presumably the instructions) for the low price of $99.95! Mal's flabbergasted reaction is priceless.
- When Mal thinks the story is over after the Devil Bat is shot:Mal: So, he killed the Devil Bat, end of story, let’s go home!O.G.: We are home, and I got some bad news for you.Mal: Fungus acting up again?O.G. (under his breath): Raging out of control, thanks. BUT THERE’S MORE! He makes another bat.Mal (already dreading the answer): What happens?O.G.: Pretty much everything we’ve watched up until this point all over again.Mal: Oh gee, nono, dude, NO, no way, I cannot go through it again! We have to speed this up, somehow, someway.
- The near entirety of the Sudden Musical Ending, with the hosts singing about everything that happens in the film, and what happens after the new bat is made.
- Standouts include:
Mal: He played an evil doctor who had an evil plan, to make his employers supper when they wore his lo-SHAN!O.G.: Ah, Mal, lo-shan?!Mal: Hey dude, you gotta work with what you got!O.G.: I ain’t got much with lo-shan.Mal: Heh, I ain’t got much with this movie.O.G.: Eh, well that’s true.(later)O.G.: Then there was…remember that part with the-heh heh…aw, crap.Mal: You want me to bail out your little yellow ass now?O.G.: Yes please, I think I need a hug.(they stare at each other for a good couple of seconds as chirping crickets sound off in the background)Mal: …Okay! (continues singing)- At the end of the song, O.G. maintains an Incredibly Long Note before Mal tells him to shut up.
- Mal strapping O.G. to an electric device similar to what was used on the Devil Bat, just so that he never does anything like this ever again. He goes to flip the switch and, right when the screen smashes to black/end credits:O.G. (offscreen): AAAAHHHHHH, SWEEEEET GOOOOOOOODDD!!! Hey, my sinuses cleared up. OOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AH-HAAAAA!!!! I’M VERY SLOWLY GETTING USED TO IT. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
