Funny / Aladdin: The Return of Jafar

Oh, Crap!, indeed.

• New villain Abis Mal is played by Jason Alexander, better known as legendary loser George Costanza, so it's to be expected. Jafar is quick to show who is in control and it's hilarious.
• Iago begging Abu to let him out of the birdcage. Abu sees Rajah nearby and has a sneaky joke to scare Iago, and opens the cage. Unfortunately, the joke backfires as Rajah then destroys the cage and chases Iago into the palace, accidentally ruining the palace dinner and blowing Iago's cover.
  Iago: Oh, Monkey! Come on! Monkey, little birdie want to talk to monkey! Have nice banana! Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Birdie get monkey a pretty banana, if monkey open cage? Yum-Yum?
  Abu: Blah, blah, blah!
  Iago: COME ON! I got a wife and three eggs! Imagine them hatching, never knowing their daddy! COME ON! OPEN THE CAGE! Open it! Open it! OPEN IT! [Abu sees Rajah the tiger nearby and smirks, then opens the cage] Yeah, that's more like it—DAH! [sees Rajah snarling menacingly at him] CLOSE THE CAGE! Close it! Close it! CLOSE IT! (Rajah pounces on the cage, destroying it. Iago climbs out of the dented cage, only to become face to face with the tiger) AAAAH!!! (Rajah chases him into the palace)
  Abu: Uh-oh!
  Iago: (as Rajah chases him) YOUR MONKEY'S TRYING TO KILL ME! I SAVED YOUR LIFE!!! IT'S PAYBACK TIME, ALADDIN! (Abu tries to pull Rajah's tail to stop him, to no avail. Iago reaches a dead end) Whoa! (Rajah lunges) ALADDIN!!!
  (Rajah bursts open the doors and crashes into the dining room, accidentally ruining the palace dinner)
  Jasmine: Rajah! You know better than to tear around the palace like that!
  Iago: (in Rajah's mouth) Help! (Aladdin closes Rajah's mouth) HEY!
  Sultan: So, Aladdin, why did you bring in that deceitful parrot?
  Aladdin: Sultan, I have to tell you something about Iago. (Iago tickles Rajah's nose, the tiger sneezes him out on to the table) He's... here?

• Genie: SPIDERS! *turns into the exterminator from Arachnophobia* Things could get ugly!
• Genie quoting the genie code that Jafar can't kill anyone. After getting blasted; "But you'd be surprised what you can live through!"
• "GRANNY'S GONNA GRAB YA!"
• The scene when Aladdin takes on Abis Mal's gang in the beginning is both this and a Moment of Awesome. Near the end where Aladdin is flying out on the carpet, Abis grabs on and gets taken for a ride. Abu steals the jeweled flower from Abis, who cries "That's mine!" and moves to grab Abu, letting go of the carpet. As gravity takes hold, Abu watches with a smug look on his face.
  • Then as Al rains the jewels on the peasants of Agrabah much to Abu's disappointment
  Aladdin: Don't worry, Abu! I'm not throwing everything! (holds up the jeweled flower)
  Abu: Yes!
  Aladdin: This... is for Jasmine.
  Abu: NO!
  • Then When Al gives Jas the jeweled flower
  Jasmine: Oh, Aladdin, it's lovely!
  Abu: (imitating Jasmine) "It's lovely!"
  Jasmine: (suddenly grabs and kisses a surprised Aladdin) It must've cost a fortune.
  Aladdin: (to himself) Nah, it was a... steal. (shrugs with a very sly smile)
  • Finally, when Abu tries to steal the Jeweled flower with Rajah trying to stop him, ending in Abu falling into a powder basket.
  Jasmine: Uh, you might wanna change before dinner, though.
  (Cue Aladdin giving Abu a very angry Death Glare as Abu holds the jeweled flower up with an nervous "Oh, Crap!" Smile)
• Genie and Carpet playing pool. As Genie talks about how great pool was, Carpet beats him ^note by sinking every single ball on the break, making him say this:
  Genie: Pool's a dumb game anyways.
• "...but you'd be surprised what you can live through."
• "WATCH THE SUNBURN!!!!! ...HA! Kidding."
• This gem with Abis Mal and his goons when they approach the well (the same one Iago ditched Jafar's lamp into earlier). Deciding they had enough of their master's incompetence, Abis Mal's gang try to kill him, only to be scared off by Jafar being released from the lamp.
  Abis Mal: (to himself) That stinkin' Aladdin! First chance I get, I'll slice him in half!
  Thief 1: (aside to other thieves) That stinkin' Abis Mal! First chance we get, let's slice him in half!
  Abis Mal: Hey, get over here and wash up! It's bad enough having to look at you without having to smell you!
  Thief 2: Come. We do it now. No witnesses. (brandishes his sword)
  Abis Mal: (dumps a pail of water on top of himself, and Jafar's lamp falls out of the pail and hits him on the head) OW! What's this? So help me, I'll sue whoever runs this well! A lamp? (picks it up) Well...(chuckles) It might be worth a few shekels once it's cleaned up. (rubs it)
  Thief 3: It will be of little use to you, Abis Mal... except to light your way... to the valley of the dead!
  (the thieves pull out their swords ready strike Abis Mal; when suddenly, red smoke erupts from the lamp)
  Thief 1: AAAH! It is bewitched!
  (all the thieves except Abis Mal get on their horses and ride away in panic; while Abis Mal stares on with the most priceless expression ever as Jafar's evil cackle is heard as he comes out)
  Jafar: I am FREE! Free to exact vengeance upon he who has imprisoned me!
  • After Jafar orders Abis Mal to take him to Agrabah, Abis Mal agrees, but under the condition that he get his wishes granted first. Cue Jafar flying into a rage and firing magic bolts all over the place with Abis Mal running around, trying to avoid getting hit.
  • Then Jafar tricking Abis Mal into wasting his wishes to cooperate. When Jafar reveals to Abis Mal he wants revenge on Aladdin, Abis Mal is more than willing to help.
    Jafar: WHY, YOU!-(suddenly calms down) You shall have your wishes.
    Abis Mal: I shall? I mean...of course I shall! I want riches! I wish for the legendary sunken treasure of Corde Mer!
    Jafar: Your wish is my command.
    (Jafar poofs both of them in the middle of the sea, where Abis Mal is drowning)
    Jafar: Poor sweet baby, aren't we enjoying our wish? (An octopus grabs Abis Mal) Perhaps you wish me to return you to the desert?
    Abis Mal [bubbling] YEEEEESSS!!!!
    Jafar: Very well.
    (teleports both him and Abis Mal back to the desert; Abis Mal spits out water)
    Jafar: That was two wishes, take your time with the third... or you'll wish you'd never been born.
    (Abis Mal stares at Jafar in utter fear)
    Jafar: On the other hand, If you cooperate with me, I will see that you're amply rewarded.
    Abis Mal: Rewarded?
    Jafar: First, you'll help me get revenge on a certain Street Rat by the name of...Aladdin!
    Abis Mal: (gasps in shock) ALADDIN?! I want revenge on him too! He robbed me, turned my men against me, and he fought dirty! My brilliant swordsmanship availed me not! (accidentally slices his belt, making his pants fall) Oh... I hate when I do that.
    Jafar: Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend. It's not enough that we simply destroy Aladdin. After all...there are things so much worse than death! (laughs evilly, while Abis Mal smirks)
• When Genie is trying to convince Iago to get Al and Jas to reconcile, one such attempt is startling the parrot.
  Iago: Jeez! What're you tryin' to do, gimme a heart attack?
  Genie: [appears as a doctor] Aha! You do have a heart! [poofs up an X-ray over Iago, revealing a tiny heart in his ribs] An itty bitty one, but it is there.
• When Genie, Abu, and Carpet were inadvertently interrupting a romantic moment between Aladdin and Jasmine. Genie tries to record everything on a camcorder until Iago gets up in the camera, fed up with their inability to take a hint.
  Iago: WHAT'S HE GOTTA DO TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO YOU LUNKHEADS?!? THE SHOW'S OVER!!! THEY WANT TO BE ALONE!!!!! BREAK IT UP!!!!!!!
• This gem as Iago tries to release Genie from his crystal ball prison
  Jasmine: What are you doing now?
  Iago: Oh, what's it look like I'm doin'? I'm tryin' to free the chump Genie, so he can save your chump boyfriend!
• Abu was about to hit Iago with a loaf of bread until Aladdin halt him.
• The mischievous grin on Abu’s face before attempting to snatch the jeweled flower from Jasmine’s vase is hilarious.
• At the end of the movie, Aladdin declines the offer of the position of royal vizier. Iago is about to give a piece of his mind when Aladdin suddenly interjects.
  Iago: What more do you want?!
  Aladdin: The world.
  Iago: (flabbergasted) Look, personally, I'm with you, kid, but let's take it one step at a time. (gets grabbed by Genie who zaps a bandage over his beak to shut him up)
• The DVD menu 'continues the fun, with Iago commenting on various characters. See here.
  • Some highlights are his comments on Abu and Jafar.
    Iago (On Abu): Well, if it isn't Aladdin's annoying little monkey Abu. I wonder what he'll do next. No wait, let me guess. First, he'll start squealing, then, he'll move on to squeaking, and then, just to be original, he'll steal something that'll get us into trouble. Oy, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a loudmouth!
    Iago (on Jafar): Now there's a face that only a mother could love, not that she does. I mean really, how else do you explain his obsession with ruling the world? I don't mean to judge, but maybe if his mother had payed a little more attention...
    (Jafar interrupts, having overheard.)
    Jafar: Would you shut up?
    Iago: Ehehe, uhh, Jafar, I was just talking about how scary your mother is. Nonono, I mean, how scary you are, No, no, I mean, how everyone fears you and- (Gets blasted by Jafar) Hey! Watch it with the lightning bolts, will ya? I just finished molting and my beak is smoldering!

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Does this mean I don't get my third wish?