Funny / Anastasia

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

The animated film

Ra-Ra-Rasputin! / Lover of the Russian Queen!

• As Rasputin sinks into the ice, he yells out for Bartok, who lands nearby, and... just stands there totally confused, as if to say, "Okay, what the heck do I do now?"
• The sheer Irony of the "Rumor in St. Petersburg" song being about people gossiping the possibility of Anastasia still being alive, while being played as a rousing musical number.
• Before they meet Anya, Dimitri and Vlad are holding an audition for girls to play Anastasia. One prospect is a middle-aged woman with a fur coat and cigarette who takes a huge deep raspy breath, drops her huge fur coat theatrically, and says in a deep sultry voice, "Grandma! It's me, Ana-STASIA!" Complete with a burlesque hip-bump and a rimshot. Their reaction is a combination Head Desk and Face Palm.
  Dmitri: [After Vlad's groaning Head Desk] Oh brother...
  Vlad: [Defeated whimper]
  • Even better are the non-English dubs. Most of them were voiced by men!
• Some Fridge Funny for the "Once Upon A December" sequence. As Anya is only imagining the palace restored to its former glory, and the dancing, there's a shot of Pooka looking confused as she dances around. So she was essentially dancing that whole thing with Pooka watching her, wondering what the hell she was doing. And had Dimitri and Vlad come in ten seconds earlier, they would have seen her acting it out.
• Anya gets a fantastic line when Dimitri is looking up and down after first meeting her.
  "Why are you circling me? Were you a vulture in another life?"
• When Dmitri tries to convince Anya to join them to Paris, he gestures to Vlad to give him their "train tickets", and Vlad hands him some tickets to the Russian Circus.
  Dmitri: [Waving the tickets quickly so Anya can't read them] See, we just so happen to have three tick- [Notices a fourth ticket] Oh, that's not- What's that doing here? [Casually tosses the fourth ticket] THREE tickets to Paris.
• "Three... two... one..." "DIMITRI!" (Fistpump)
• Rasputin's Body Horror when he first resurrects:
  Rasputin's eyeball falls out and lands in Bartok's hands.
  Bartok: Oh. Uh... That fell right out, sir.
• The scene on the train in which Vlad is keeping score of Anya vs Dimitri and Anya is winning by a LOT. If one were to count the score, it's "Dimitri: 3 vs. Anya: 30."
  • The part that makes Vlad add to Anya's score:
    (Dimitri scolds Anya for fiddling with her necklace and attempts to instruct Anya on how to act like royalty. She does not appreciate his attitude.)
    Anya: Dimitri? Do you really think I could be royalty?
    Dimitri: You know I do.
    Anya: Then stop bossing me around!
    Vlad: She certainly has a mind of her own.
    Dimitri: Yeah. I hate that in a woman.
    (Anya sticks her tongue out at Dimitri who turns to look at her, but Anya has returned to looking out the window before he can see her expression. Vlad gives her two points.)
• The following:
  (Anastasia has left the train cabin after an argument with Dimitri.)
  Vlad: (gleefully to Pooka, Anastasia's dog) Oh no! An unspoken attraction?
  Dimitri: ATTRACTION?! To that skinny little brat? Have you lost your mind?!
• On the train, Vlad has just finished forging passports in blue ink when he overhears a conversation that passports are now made in RED ink;
  Vlad: That's what I hate about this new government—everything's in red!
• When Dimitri tries to wake up Anya on the train, she throws her hand out, punching Dimitri in the nose.
  Anya: Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else... Oh, it's you. Well, that's okay then.
  • And as they leave:
  Dimitri: I think you broke my nose!
  Anya: (to herself) Men are such babies.
  • And the end, where Anya accidentally smacks an injured Dimitri in the face and then glomps him out of the happiness of seeing that he's still alive. (Also a heartwarming moment.)
• When the train is attacked by Rasputin's minions, and the engine and the baggage car have been separated from the dining car and coaches:
  Dimitri: What was that?
  Vladimir: I don't know! But there goes the dining car!
  • A few seconds later:
  Vladimir: Uh, Dimitri?
  Dimitri: What?
  Vladimir: I think someone has flambéed our engine!
• During their efforts to escape from the out-of-control train:
  Dimitri: Give me a wrench, an ax, anything! (Anya puts a lit stick of dynamite into his hand.) That'll work!
  • "What do they teach you in those orphanages?"
  • Then after the gang narrowly escapes while the train falls off the bridge and explodes.
  Dimitri: I hate trains! Remind me never to get on a train again!
• Rasputin's freak outs when both his plans to kill Anya fail.
  • Just about every scene between Rasputin and Bartok is guaranteed to have some amusing moment during their banter.
• Vlad extolling Sophie's many virtues.
  Vlad: She is a decadent pastry filled with whipped cream and laughter!
  Anya: Is this a person or a cream puff?
• This moment in "Learn to Do It":
  Anya: And I recall his yellow cat…
  Vlad: I don't believe we told her that. *exchanges an Aside Glance with Dimitri*
• A Funny Background Event during "Learn To Do It": Dimitri on the bike.
• Anya's new blue dress and her reaction to it:
  Dimitri: I bought you a dress.
  Anya: You bought me a... tent.
  Dimitri: What are you looking for?
  Anya: [with her head inside the dress] The Russian Circus! I think it's still in here!
• Dimitri slipping into Adorkable as he and Anya dance.
  Dimitri: I mean [the dress] was nice on the hanger, but it looks great on you. Y-you should wear it.
  Anya: I am wearing it.
  Dimitri: (nervous laughter) Oh right, of course.
  • They then share an Almost Kiss after the dance before Dimitri backs out and instead tells her "Uh... you're doing fine." and pats her hand.
  • When he walks away, Vlad looks more upset about him leaving than Anya does.
• This line:
  Bartok: I could teach you the latest dance step. It starts with like a WHOO, and then you get really crazy with the hips, sir!
• While Anastasia and the Grand Duchess are reminiscing, they find one of Anastasia's drawings.
  "Olga made me so mad; she said it looked like a pig riding a donkey! (Beat) She was right."
• Pooka shielding his eyes when Anya and Dimitri finally kiss.

The stage version

• "Learn To Do It" manages to create a Funny Moment not in the original by changing only one word.
  Anastasia: I feel a little foolish. Am I floating?
  Dimitry: Like a sinking boat.
• While our heroes are fleeing to Paris, Vlad collapses.
  Vlad: Dimitry, wait! Anya can't go any further! She's exhausted!
  • Minutes later, when they're on bikes:
  Anastasia: I'll race you!
  Dimitry: [laughing] I've never seen you so happy, Anya!
  Vlad: WAIT FOR ME!
• When they arrive in France, Vlad kisses the ground.
  Vlad: La belle France!
  Dimitry: It looks like Russia.
  Vlad: France looks nothing like Russia, it looks like France!
  Anastasia: Except Russia is more beautiful.
• "I'm giving up dancing for Lent." "...Lent just ended." "Next Lent. I'm getting an early start."
• The Dowager Empress's reaction to learning one of the impostor-Anastasias wants her to pay her passage. "At least that little impostor from Cleveland paid her own way! [Beat] Where is Cleveland? I never heard of such a place."
• Dimitry stands on the Dowager Empress's dress to stop her leaving. It's a brief funny moment in an otherwise heart-breaking scene.
• "How dare you sit without my permission? [Beat] All right, sit; you have my permission."
• During "In a Crowd of Thousands", Anastasia sings (about young!Dimitry), "He was thin/Not too clean".
  Dimitry: Hey!
• In the finale, Anya comes after Dmitry to stop him from leaving Paris. He insists that he's "not her prince," but she's not having it and storms over to him to contradict him with a kiss... but she has to grab his suitcase and stand on it to be tall enough to do so.
• Vlad and Dmitry are unimpressed with one of the prospective Anastasias.
  Vlad: Try it without the gum in your mouth.
  Fake!Anastasia: It ain't gum, it's tobacco.
  Vlad: Bow and tell me who you are.
  Fake!Anastasia: At the same time?
  Dmitry: Are there any more after these three?
  Vlad: I hope not.
  Fake!Anastasia: I'm sorry?
  Vlad: That was a theatrical aside, my dear. You didn't hear it.
  • In the Broadway version, after Dmitry complains about the fake Anastasias, Vlad snarks, "Who were you expecting? Sarah Bernhardt?"
  • In the Takarazuka Revue production, one of the Anastasias gives an even less convincing performance than the ones on Broadway. She shrieks her lines, waves her arms wildly, then flings herself to the floor. Dmitry's reaction◊ is priceless.
• Just after the fake Anastasias have left, there's a knock at the door. Vlad and Dmitry panic, thinking it's the police.
  Vlad: At least they'll feed us in jail!
  [Anya runs in]
  Anya: I'm looking for Dmitry!
  Vlad: So are the police. That's Dmitry, with the chair over his head.
• Vlad and Lily are reunited.
  Vlad: Admit you're happy to see me!
  Lily: I'm glad you're not dead. And that's as far as I'm prepared to go.
• During "Learn to Do It", Vlad turns the blackboard around when Dmitry is standing too close, and it hits Dmitry on the nose.
• Gleb yelling after Anya has run off with her broom: "I'm here every day!"
• Lily announcing that she’ll be at the Neva Club with "every other White Russian in Paris."^note Two of many meanings for "White Russian": 1) the cocktail, and 2) Russians who supported the tsar in the 1917 revolution, exactly the clientele that said club caters to in the play.

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