- The opening flashback to the infamous mob convention known as the Apalachin Meeting, with out-of-place urbanite mafioso coping with cows getting too close to their cars.
Vitti: Story is they drove it all the way back to Bensonhurst, though my father says they only got as far as Poughkeepsie.
- And then the cops show up, forcing every mob boss to smash their way out of every door and window to escape arrest. Has to be witnessed as there is no way to describe how funny it is to see obese mobsters run for their lives.
- Apparently Vitti's dad and his partner only escaped by hijacking a tractor from a local farmer.
- Years later the same situation plays out again, complete with a fat guy running away and falling down.
- Vitti's response to "modernizing" organized crime.
"What do I need? A fuckin' website?"
- Pillow therapy.
Sobel: You know, whenever I get angry, I hit a pillow. Here, hit this pillow.Vitti (pulls out a gun and unloads about six rounds into a defenseless cushion, feathers flying everywhere): There's your fucking pillow.Sobel (wincing): Feel better?Vitti (thinks it over): Yeah... I do.
- Psychology Terminology meets the Mob.
Primo: Get a dictionary. Find out what this "closure" thing is. If that's what he's going to hit us with, I want to know what it is.
- Sobel coming to find Jelly and Vitti at the scene of a crime where a rival mobster was chucked out a window, resulting in Sobel's wedding getting "crashed."
Vitti: "Jelly, did they find the suicide note?"Jelly (scrambling for a pen): "No, but... uh, they will."Sobel: "Oh, what's it gonna say? 'Life is bullshit! Can't fuckin' take it any more! Signed, the dead guy'!"Jelly: Hey, that's not bad!
- After Sobel tells Vitti about The Godfather dream he had, we get Vitti's response:
Vitti: I was Fredo? I don't think so.
- Pretty much everything Jelly says count as Crowning Funny.
- "You... you... you're good, you!"
- Sobel joining Vitti at a funeral to talk to him. Vitti enters the church, dabs his hand in the holy water and crosses himself. Sobel, who is Ambiguously Jewish, uses it to wash the back of his neck.
- Jelly pulling Sobel away from his second attempt to get married, complete with the two of them hastily walking down the isle as the wedding march plays.
- You are a tragedy queen!