Film / Santa's Slay

A 2005 Horror/Comedy, starring Bill Goldberg as Santa.

It's Christmas once again. Family dinner, yuletide feelings, all that. But there's something different about this Christmas. Namely, Santa. Turns out all the stories about Santa are fake. Namely, he's not a jovial giftgiver. He's the spawn of Satan, who was defeated in a curling match with an Angel. As such, he was sentenced to deliver presents to the world for 1000 years as punishment.

And the 1000 years are up. And Santa decides to make up for lost killing time in the quaintly named Hell's Township. It's up to a teenaged boy named Nicholas Yuleson to put a stop to this Red Christmas, and put "Saint" Nicholas down once and for all.

Tropes featured in this film:

  • The Antichrist: Santa is the son of Satan in this film.
  • Badass Baritone: Santa.
  • Badass Biker: Santa's appearance at the end of the movie has this vibe.
  • Badass Santa: Big muscular, powerful, walks with a swagger, takes on every bouncer at a strip joint (after kissing one of the umů ho, ho, hoes).
  • Bad Santa: Well, duh.
  • Batman Cold Open: The movie opens with Santa brutally (and hilariously) murdering a snobby, hopelessly dysfunctional rich family, who has zero connection to anybody else in the film.
  • Booze Flamethrower: Santa uses this in the opening to set a woman's hair on fire.
  • Bloody Hilarious: The film's main selling point is the sheer amount of comedic deaths that occur For the Evulz.
  • The Cameo: James Caan as the father in the opening sequence.
  • The End... Or Is It?: Santa is apparently destroyed while flying in the sky on his sleigh ... only for Pastor Timmons' corpse to be found in his place. He shows up just before the end credits in an airport traveling incognito.
  • Evil Is Hammy: Bill Goldberg looks like he's having the time of his life playing Santa.
  • From the Mouths of Babes: "Can we open our motherfucking presents now?"
  • God Was My Copilot: The grandfather turns out to be the same angel who won the curling match. He fell in love with a mortal woman and was Brought Down to Normal to stay with her.
  • Horror Doesn't Settle for Simple Tuesday: Set around Christmas, the only time of the year when Santa can kill people.
  • Hurricane of Puns: Santa makes loads of Christmas-related puns when he kills people.
  • I Don't Like the Sound of That Place: Hell Township.
  • Infant Immortality: Averted. The two children who ask if they can open their motherfucking presents get their heads blown off.
  • Kick the Dog: Literally. When Santa boots a yappy dog into a ceiling fan.
  • Mugging the Monster: A rather dim robber decides to try and mug Santa while he mockingly collects for charity. He winds up with a candy cane through the eye, and tossed in a dumpster.
  • Pun-Based Title: Santa's Slay = Santa's Sleigh.
  • Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: The grandfather/angel challenges Santa to another curling match with the stakes being Santa becomes good forever if he loses, and the angel is sent to hell if he wins. Santa provides the curling 'circle', a portal to hell, and when the angel manages to get a curling stone very close to the hole, making his win seem likely...Santa just grabs the angel and slide/throws him into the hole, 'winning' the match by default.
    "Christmas is over when I say it's over!"
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Santa, now powerless, flees the school and heads to the nearest airport, but not before leaving Pastor Timmons in his sleigh to be killed in his place.
  • Shout-Out: Before he burns down the strip club, Santa exclaims "Naughty!"
  • Sinister Minister: Pastor Timmons, who uses the charity money collected at his church to spend at the strip club.
  • There's No Kill Like Overkill: Mary's father takes out Santa's sleigh by shooting it with a rocket launcher.
  • The Stinger: Santa appears after the end of the credits saying "Who's next?
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Lampshaded when Nicholas tries to shine a light in Santa's face, and all it does is annoy him.
    Santa: I'm Santa Claus, not fucking Dracula!
  • Yes, Virginia: Santa says "yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" to a woman surprised by him breaking into the house.