He fights zombies.
Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies
Abraham Lincoln: Our recent sortie has put into stark terms the situation with which we face. We cannot remain in this place indefinitely, and simply leaving is not a possibility. What we need to do is to kill all these zombies!
Stonewall Jackson: Zombies?! Well, that sounds like slave talk to me, sir!
is an action/horror/historical mashup made by The Asylum
, as a Mockbuster
designed to cash in on the release of the film adaptation of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
. It stars Bill Oberst, Jr. as Abraham Lincoln
, who is interrupted while in the process of writing the Gettysburg Address with news of a failed attempt to take a Confederate fort. The sole survivor, who is in the process of turning into a zombie, describes how his squad was decimated by undead Union and Confederate soldiers who "ate their flesh". Knowing straightaway that zombies are the cause, Abe decides to lead a crack squad of Secret Service men to investigate the fort and take it back from the undead menace.
The movie, despite being a particularly bad offender of Anachronism Stew
and a blatant ripoff of the Seth Grahame-Smithe book and movie, is surprisingly not that bad as far as movies from The Asylum
go. This is likely due to the influence of director Richard Schenkman, best known for previously making the sci-fi picture The Man from Earth
- Artistic License - History: Stonewall Jackson would have been dead at this point. Of course, the Secret Service was founded by Lincoln to combat counterfeiting, and was not assigned to protect the President until much later after his death. Not that the Asylum gives a crap.
- Authority Equals Asskicking: Lincoln has no problem mowing down dozens of zombies single-handily.
- Awesome, but Impractical: Abe's switch-blade scythe.
- Been There, Shaped History: Lincoln meets up with a young Theodore Roosevelt, and inspires his "Walk softly, and carry a big stick" motto that he'll use years later.
- Bittersweet Ending: A year after the zombie attack, Abe is infected by Mary, whom he refused to kill. Knowing that he's going to turn, he intentionally sets up his own assassination by anonymously informing John Wilkes Booth that he'll be at Ford's theater that night. However, Abe did succeed in stopping the zombies from spreading, thus saving the planet from a global epidemic.
- Deceased Parents Are the Best: When Abe was a child, his father killed himself after being bitten by his infected wife, whom Abe was then forced to kill. While not a happy example, the experience did give him the knowledge and skills needed to take on the zombies years later.
- Empty Shell: Abe can't bring himself to finish Mary properly. It doesn't end well.
- Enemy Mine: Lincoln tries to convince Jackson and the other confederates that the zombie menace is bigger than the Civil War, and that they need to work together to stop it from spreading. While Pat Garret joins him fairly quickly, it takes time for the others to realize he's right.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Stonewall Jackson decides to bring the fire to the powder kegs, after somebody's foot scuffs out the fuse.
- Honor Before Reason: Jackson puts more stock in the Confederate cause then in helping to avert a zombie apocalypse. He eventually changes his mind.
- Idiot Ball: The team's handling of zombies is seldom very bright.
- The Mole: John Wilkinson, AKA John Wilkes Booth.
- Not Using the Z Word: Averted, as the zombies are called exactly that.
- No Zombie Cannibals
- One-Dimensional Thinking: There's one poor sap who could have just stepped off the tracks, but instead he tries to outrun the train and gets run over.
- Our Zombies Are Different: While generally of the slow, mindless, killed-by-head-trauma variety, these zombies will fall asleep standing up if left alone long enough.
- President Action: Abraham Lincoln has no qualms about charging into a battle zone to take on zombies.
- Removing the Head or Destroying the Brain
- He's so badass as a five year old, that he looks a lot older than five.
- Verb This!: "Emancipate this!"
- What the Hell, Hero?: Lincoln's men are horrified after he kills one of them (who was bitten by a zombie). Justified in that, at the time, they don't know what happens when you're bitten.
- Zombie Apocalypse: A minor one in the town near the fort, but averted overall by Abe's actions.
- Zombie Gait
- Zombie Infectee: Multiple examples, eventually including Mary and Abe.