A sequel to Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around, or, more specifically the Story Within a Story Suefic, Tales of a Dream Come True, that the characters read. At the end of Tales of a Dream Come True, Starr and Celeste had had Babies Ever After. Starr had thirteen children, all of them as perfect as their mother, with one exception. This is the story of that one exception.
Meet Saeriel, daughter of Starr and Legolas, and the Only Sane Girl of her family. She finds her mother annoying, thinks her father is a pansy, and is creeped out by how every man she knows seems to have fallen for Starr. She loves visiting Gondor, especially the dungeons. You see, there's two prisoners there who seem to be decent people. They are Arwen and Éowyn, and they're the only other ones unaffected by Starr's influence. They plot to escape, and take Saeriel with them.
One quick getaway (and a name change to Seiryu for Saeriel) later, and they are off on a quest to remove Starr's malevolent influence from all of Middle-Earth, one place at a time. On their journey, they collect more traveling companions: the hobbit girl Belgaer, Browne, an elven servant from Mirkwood, Naurin, a female elf from Lothlorien, and a boy from Rohan called Deorwine.
Tropes:
- Ain't Too Proud to Beg:Seiryu (narrating): We caught a glimpse of Celeborn trying to get back into Galadriel's good graces. I hate to see a grown elf beg.
- Big Bad: Starr's control over pretty much every male character in The Lord of the Rings is what the main characters are fighting to remove.
- Non-Action Big Bad: Starr herself, however, is pretty weak, especially once her Sueness has been removed.
- Charm Person: Starr has this power. Everyone that she meets (and doesn't hate or ignore) immediately loves her and their personality changes to be more like her.
- Chickification: Happens to everyone under Starr's spell.
- Damsel out of Distress: Arwen and Éowyn.
- Deadpan Snarker: Seiryu.
- Death Glare: Éowyn gives one when she is proposed to impersonate Celeste to free Lothlorien from Starr's influence. Seiryu notes that it could have probably "melted steel and made grown men cry."
- Demoted to Extra: In-Universe, Gimli complains to a therapist that absolutely no one notices him.
- De-power: The group gradually do it to Starr and Celeste by removing areas from their control. With every area lost, Starr and Celeste lose one Sue trait, in this order:
- Singing Voice (Starr)/Ability to Speak (Celeste), when the Shire is freed.
- The illusion of intelligence, when Mirkwood is disenchanted.
- Being elves, when Lothlorien is liberated.
- Beauty, when Eomer is returned to his old self.
- The last traces of Sueishness leave when Aragorn and Legolas see Starr and Celeste in their de-Suified state.
- Didn't See That Coming: Starr having her child at the end takes Seiryu completely by surprise, because Starr showed no signs of pregnancy when they'd last left her. Éowyn explains that Starr didn't want to be seen with a large stomach because of her vanity, and so used the last bit of her magic to make sure it didn't look like she was pregnant.
- Dull Eyes of Unhappiness: Galadriel has them after having to live through being the Only Sane Elf in Lothlorien.
- Fan Disservice: This is how they get Mirkwood out of Starr's control- showing a picture of her when she's ugly.
- Guile Hero: The main characters, since they have to liberate areas from Starr's control with trickery.
- Hidden Depths: Éowyn can paint very well. She puts it to good use in freeing Mirkwood.
- Holier Than Thou: Seiryu notes that Starr has a 'Holier Elf Than Thou' attitude.
- Hollywood Tone-Deaf: Starr, after she loses her Sue singing voice.
- Impossibly Tacky Clothes: Seiryu mentions in passing that she had to wear pink dresses that she describes as "monstrosities" to parties when she lived with Starr.
- Informed Attribute: In-Universe- Starr claims to be smart. Seiryu isn't so sure.
- It's All About Me: Starr. And with her Sue powers, she makes it all about her.
- Lemony Narrator: Seiryu.
- Loved by All: Starr has this at the beginning of the fic due to her charms. Everyone is slavishly devoted to her, except for those few who are strong enough to throw off her influence (Elrond and Galadriel) or are ignored and/or hated by her (Arwen, Éowyn, and Gimli). The protagonists are trying to break her spell by removing her widespread approval.
- Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: Seiryu thinks the reason why she isn't perfect like her siblings is because Legolas might not actually be her father. Considering that Starr Really Gets Around, this is not an unreasonable assumption.
- Motor Mouth: Belgaer.
- No Sense of Direction: Seiryu comments that unlike her perfect mother and siblings, she doesn't have good directional sense.
- Not a Morning Person: Seiryu.
- Not So Stoic: Thranduil, usually a dignified elf-lord, is most unhappy when he's freed from Starr's spell.
- Arwen does this after she sees what's happened to Galadriel after years of living in Sue-controlled Lothlorien.
- Only Sane Man: Seiryu, Arwen, Éowyn, Elrond, Gimli, and Galadriel are the only ones immune to Starr's influence.
- Orcus on His Throne: Starr remains in Gondor for the entire story and doesn't do too much to directly stop the heroes, although after each place is freed from her control, we get a section from her perspective about the trait she's lost.
- Parental Neglect: This is Starr's response when Saeriel/Seiryu has gone missing:Starr: And Arrwn and Ewony escaped from prison! I bet they kidnapped Saeriel!... Oh well, she was a pain anyway.
- Parody Sue: Starr, Celeste, and all of their kids except Seiryu. Especially Nelleleighadettakyna.
- Questionable Consent: Starr and Celeste Really Get Around, and all of the people they had sex with were completely under their spell.
- Rouge Angles of Satin: Happens a couple times. In-Universe, Starr loses her ability to spell her dialogue correctly after Mirkwood is freed from her control.
- Satellite Character: Celeste to Starr. Because of this, she gets hit harder when people are brought out of the Sue enchantment (losing her voice when Starr only loses the ability to sing, the loss of the 'look intelligent' spell turns here into a near brain-dead dullard when Starr becomes an exaggerated ditzy Valley Girl, and so on).
- Shout-Out: Just before Seiryu left with Arwen and Éowyn, Legolas had taken to calling Starr his "precious". Seiryu thinks that that reminds her of something, but she can't remember just what.
- The Smurfette Principle: All female elves other than Galadriel (who's immune to Starr's influence) have disappeared from Lothlorien.
- Text Speak: Starr does this after the liberation of Mirkwood causes the spell that was making her sound smart to wear off.
- Title Drop: "You are the opposite of your mother. That may be just what the healer order for these Starr-struck masses."
- Theme Naming: The Sues' names have a Celestial theme. Aside from Starr and Celeste themselves, one of their children is Andromeda.
- The Unfavorite: Saeriel/Seiryu, as she's not Sueish like her sibling[s.
- The Voiceless: Celeste becomes mute after the Shire is liberated.
- Warm-Up Boss: Seiryu calls the Shire a warm-up, as the Hobbits were only under the spell because Frodo was. All she had to do was convince Frodo that Starr didn't care for him, and the spell was broken.
- Who Names Their Kid Nelleleighadettakyna?
