Drinking Game: My Inner Life

manwithoutabody came up with two drinking games for the legendary badfic My Inner Life while doing a Dramatic Reading. The easier of the two is the plot points version:
  • Whenever there's a sex scene, you drink.
  • Whenever there's a Costume Porn scene, you drink.
  • Whenever you come across an unnecessary Triforce symbol, you drink.
  • Whenever Jenna develops a new power at exactly the right moment, you drink.
  • Whenever a plot point is introduced, then wrapped up within the same chapter, you drink.
  • Whenever a canon character's name is misspelled (particularly Ganondorf), you drink.
  • Whenever there's a blatant contradiction of Zelda canon, you drink.
  • Whenever a character makes some sort of personal sacrifice just for the benefit of Link and Jenna's relationship, you drink.
  • Whenever someone boots the horses in the legs, you drink.
  • Whenever Dalamar tells them to "Hurry up! We must make hast!", you drink.
  • Whenever the word "dead" or "cold" is used in an illogical context, you drink.
  • Whenever Jenna cries tears of either joy or sorrow.

But if you really hate your liver, there's the "key words" version:
  • Whenever you see the phrase "sheer ecstasy" or "heavenly naked body," drink.
  • When she uses "threw" instead of "through" or "minuet" instead of "minute," drink.
  • Whenever someone's eyes "grow big as saucers" or "widen in shock," drink.
  • Whenever someone's face goes "white as a sheet," drink.
  • Whenever "so" is spelled with two o's, drink.
  • Whenever someone says, "Oh my goddesses!", drink.
  • If a line of dialogue is "sneered," you drink. If it's "said," drain the whole cup.
  • Whenever there's a reference to Link's eyes, drink.
  • Every reference to tigers in a sexual capacity, you drink.
  • Every time "shower of sparks" is used during a battle.
  • Whenever a character actually says "sigh".

Rytex would like to make a contribution.
  • Every time it is stated or implied that Jenna is given something that a non-Hylian would never have (e.g. The Ocarina of Time, a position in the Royal Family, etc.), take a shot. Drain the cup if if Link used to own it.

Fofa has an idea.
  • Every time Link Jr doesn't act like a baby his age (or at all), take a shot. If you're at the point where he's doing math at four months, drain the cup.

magmablock would also like to contribute.
  • Every time Link calls Jenna "love" (or vice versa), take a shot. You'll probably get alcohol poisoning by this one alone, so proceed with caution.

whippersnapper has two more ideas.
  • Every time Hero of Time is in quotes, drink.
  • Every time Jenna refers to Princess Zelda as some variation of her "good friend," drink.

mrpanda would like to contribute.
  • Every time the author misuses quotation marks, take a shot (e.g. "Nice to meet you Mistress Jenna. You are as beautiful as a winter rose" [Link] said [...] is instead written as "Nice to meet you Mistress Jenna" "You are as beautiful as a winter rose"). This will probably get you killed from alcohol poisoning, so use caution.
  • Every time someone tends to Link's and Jenna's horses, take a shot.
  • Every time there's a redundant statement, take a shot.
  • Because drinking whenever there's a sex scene isn't enough, take a shot every time there's a euphemism for Jenna's vagina and/or Link's penis (e.g. "my mound", "my flower", "his nutsack", etc.).
    • Take a shot every time Jenna "gushes" during her orgasm.
    • Take a shot every time Link is able to have sex again immediately after achieving his orgasm.
    • Take a shot every time Jenna digs her nails into Link's back.
    • Drain the bottle if they have sex while Jenna is still pregnant.