An adventure 65 million years in the making — but it didn't take nearly that long before the fans found out that some scenes should have been fossilized instead.
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Dethroning Moment of Suck. - No Real Life examples including Executive Meddling. That's just asking for trouble.
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The Lost World: Jurassic Park
- Retloclive: The moment it's revealed that Nick took the bullets out of Roland's hunting rifle at some point before the T-rex attacked their night camp. Wow dude. Way to screw over the people that helped ya up the cliff, and protected ya along the way to the island radio station. Nick basically got more people killed for no legitimate reason by keeping Roland from being able to kill the T-rex. Also, what was up with Roland only having two bullets to begin with? The movie makes it seem like stealing just two bullets is a big deal as if a hunter wouldn't be stocked up on a ton more.
Jurassic Park III
- Enchanter468: In Jurassic Park III, the moment where the a Spinosaurus mauls a T-Rex. I understand Spinosaurus was slightly larger, but just think about this for a moment. The T-Rex opens the fight by running up and chomping on the Spinosaur's neck, and it only inflicts some superficial cuts!? Those things' teeth were serrated and rounded in cross section to sustain greater bite force, and fossils of their victims show that those teeth could cut right through skin and muscle and punch big fracking holes in the bones. Couple that with the dinosaur's massive jaw pressure, and that first neck chomp should have crippled the Spinosaurus for life, if not killed it outright.
- Baronobeefdip: Agreed. The whole "Spino VS. T. rex" battle was little more than for Jack Horner (the Paleontologist who helped with the so-called "accuracy" of the dinosaurs in the films) to show off his dubious "Tyrannosaurus was a scavenger" hypothesis. Apparently, the filmmakers (and Horner himself) have forgotten that there's (though limited) fossil evidence that T. rex was a social animal (It may have lived in small family groups)... which means that Spinosaurus would've had to deal with not just one Tyrannosaurus but several. All these inaccuracies just makes the "T. rex VS Spino" scene all the more a DMOS.
- Darkwing: T-Rex had one of the strongest jaws strength's in the fossil record, definitly more so that Spinosaurus. And even if it was a scavenger, that does not mean it would automatically lose the fight. Some animals steal kills from other predators, and that means they have to be able to chase the animal that made the kill away, and make sure it doesn't take it back. Even if Horner is convinced T-Rex couldn't chase down prey, that does not mean it can't win a fight.
- L4pisL4zul177: As mentioned above, Jurassic Park III, Vindicated by History as it may be, was ultimately conceived simply to wave around the Spinosaurus as the new big bad theropod on the block(seriously, a lot of the behind the scenes is just hyping up the Spinosaurus while also shitting on the Tyrannosaurus rex). But set aside for a moment any sort of accuracy, that Spino's neck should've been snapped in half with one bite or that the rex would have probably had a pack or a family group to back him up. No, the real kicker in this scene is ultimately the impact and the legacy it left behind on the Jurassic franchise and maybe even dinosaur media as a whole; yes, Spinosaurus was indeed established as a stock dinosaur star, but at what cost? Now, as evidenced by the World trilogy, big loud rock-em-sock-em wrestling matches between giant carnivores are all the hype, ushering in an audience who only sees dinosaurs as monsters that kill each other and the occasional humans—and meanwhile the endless shilling of the Spinosaurus set a precedent for all paleo media using the T. rex as just a measuring stick to show how cool and badass the new foe on the block is. Sure, Jurassic Park III may be getting more love and redemption recently, but let's not forgive or forget the absolute black stain it left behind.
- CJ Croen 1393: They may have been the only good part of that film, but the toothy Pteranodons are unforgivable for me. For reference, Pteranodon's name means "Wings Without Teeth". There are variations ("Toothless Wing", "Winged and Toothless", etc.) but all of them clearly describe a flying animal with a toothless beak. Say what you will about Jurassic World's Pteranodons, at least they keep true to their species' name by not having teeth. In fact, Jurassic World's Pteranodons being toothless makes this worse, because they're shown to be even more menacing without the teeth (by stabbing folks with their beaks). So there was literally no point to giving the Pteranodons in III teeth, especially seeing as they never make use of them!
- Crazyrabbits: "Alan... ALAN!" The sight of a Velociraptor speaking in a human voice (even if it is just a Dream Sequence) is so hilariously out-of-place that it's no wonder why it's used as a shorthand answer for why reviewers look down upon the film.
Jurassic World
- fluffything: I really enjoyed Jurassic World, and I think it's one of the best movies of 2015. However, there's one major plot element that I find to be irredeemably stupid. I'm, of course, talking about the (in)famous "Indominus is part-raptor" reveal. I get that it's meant to be a dramatic twist in the film. But, good lord, are there so many problems with it. First off, why would Indominus being part-raptor be more of a threat than her being part Tyrannosaurus (a much larger and ferocious predator) or part cuttlefish (Ya know, with that ability to camouflage almost instantly with her surroundings)? Second, let's keep in mind that Indominus was said to be kept in isolation for most of her life. Apart from the sibling she ate, she has never interacted with any other creature. And, now we're expected to believe she can speak "raptor" fluently? Yes, she's smart. But, language is one of those things that requires interaction with another member of the species to learn. Notice a problem here? At best, she should only be able to mimic the sounds without having any idea what they mean. Finally, this causes Owen's raptor pack to turn on him and see Indominus as their "Alpha". Why? How? They just met her. Compare that to Owen, who had raised them since they were babies. And, let's not forget that Owen stated that raptor packs are essentially family groups. But, nope. Instead, the raptors immediately turn on the guy they imprinted as their surrogate father and start taking orders from the genetic monstrosity that just happens to know how to speak their language. There's scientific inaccuracies, and then there's this cringeworthy mess.
- Legal Assassin: For me, Zara's death was the suckiest moment in the film. She gets a long, drawn-out death scene — arguably the most horrific death in the Jurassic Park film franchise — and why? Because she didn't stop the kids from running off because she was planning her wedding on the phone. Really? Nedry's death in the first film was warranted because he shut down the park's power and ultimately started the entire plot. As was Donald Genero's, since he abandoned the kids when the T-Rex came stomping in. Both of them were more deserving of their fates than Zara was, and yet her Karmic Death was worse than both of theirs put together. Even the main villain of the movie got off easier than her and he was not only a villain but a bigger asshole than Zara was. Considering that Zara is the only human female character who dies in the franchise and that Jurassic World has a huge motherhood bent (Claire's sister pressuring her into having kids, Claire being elevated into badass when she steps up to take care of her nephews, and the reason behind the Indominus Rex's rampage being that it was never really nurtured), Zara being horribly killed for the "crime" of not being a good caretaker comes off as really sexist.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
- L4pisL4zul177: Fallen Kingdom is my least favorite movie by a landslide. It's probably also the worst one to me by a landslide. Most of it is thanks to absolutely stupid scenes in some way, whether it's Maisie being a clone and such implications never being addressed or Owen somehow managing to outrun an entire pyroclastic flow. I can sort of just look past those, but there is one scene I just absolutely can't forgive: the Baryonyx. Claire and Franklin get trapped in a bunker with a Baryonyx as it slowly fills with lava, and to be frank the scene just looks bad for all three of them. Franklin contributes nothing of value aside from loud screaming, and meanwhile the Baryonyx grabs the Prehistoric Monster trope with those giant thumb claws and runs with it. The dinosaurs have always done some things that make a viewer raise an eyebrow, but can any of those past examples compare to a dinosaur sticking its head through lava repeatedly in an effort to kill two completely random humans? And as for Claire, by escaping the bunker and slamming the trapdoor on it she essentially condemns this dinosaur to an undoubtedly agonizing death by lava, and then proceeds to continue on with no guilt or hesitation afterwards(mostly because we get thrust right into the next action scene, the outrunning of the pyroclastic flow). Wasn't her whole thing in this movie wanting to save the dinosaurs, and if so, why does she just go ahead and kill this one? This scene pretty easily tanked the film for me, and it's not like it got better from there.
- Crazyrabbits: The sequence where Wheatley (the hunter who has a habit of pulling teeth out of unconscious dino specimens) goes into the Indoraptor's cage after (seemingly) sedating it, and getting killed after it threatens him. Not only was is this an absolutely stupid and downright-suicidal trait on his part (he doesn't always know if the specimen he's pulling a tooth from will wake up suddenly and attack him), but he leaves the cage door open to boot. Even worse, in what is apparently the first time in the franchise, it is revealed that the Indoraptor is Playing Possum (how or why, considering it was shot with several tranq darts, isn't made clear) and gives a look to the camera as Wheatley enters the cage. If there was any hope of creating dramatic tension, it disappeared completely after this scene.
- Papyru 30: While I was suspicious when Wheatley first showed up (since I called that he was going to be a villain) the moment my suspicions were proven right when he shoots Owen made me realize that this was going to be a predictable Cliché Storm of a movie.
- DukeNukem4ever: The ending of this movie is just a convoluted mess to say the least. Long story short, the dinosaurs are about to die once and for all in their cages from a leak of some dangerous toxic gas. This would have served as a great ending since the heroes would leave the past behind and move on. But no, they are given a choice to save the dinosaurs or let them die. While Claire decides to leave them behind (the dinosaurs have been known to be extremely dangerous and deadly around people, as seen in prior films), Maisie decides to release them just because she is "one of them". Such decision is just weird, especially since the poor girl witnessed people dying because of the dinosaurs (and even being herself chased around by the Indoraptor), her decision to spare the natural predators from the past just because she is a clone is not only illogical, it is completely unrealistic. Guess which option our heroes take. As result, several dinosaurs are now inhabiting mainland, free to wreck havoc there. Worst of all, this is supposed to be a happy ending (even though the heroes later realize what have they done, yet that hardly mitigates the overall effect), but considering the ridiculous amount of Protagonist-Centered Morality through the whole movie, it's not that surprising.
- Batmany: The reveal that Maisie is a clone. Whooo boy, where to start with this convoluted mess of a twist? First off, suspension of disbelief doesn't work here since raises way too many questions in regards to the in-universe logic of the movies. For one thing, how is it that Maisie's secret was kept under wraps for at least nine years? Considering it only took three years since the first Jurassic Park to reveal the existence of freakin' dinosaurs to the world (IE: the "San Diego Incident' in The Lost World), how is it a cloned human being kept under the radar for longer? Surely someone would've accidentally let it slip, or at the very least someone would suspect something is off when it comes to her. Second, there's the ethical implications of her existence. How many failed attempts were there before Maisie was "born"? Is it possible for that sort of technology to be on the black market thanks to Wu and other Ingen geneticists? Selling dinosaur DNA is one thing, but imagine the implications of selling human DNA. However, these implications are never brought up in the film proper. No, I'm sorry, you cannot go on a tirade of why genetically-altered dinosaurs should be able to live and then brush aside the ethical issues of, and I repeat, a cloned human being. Third, why isn't Maisie more traumatized by this revelation? Yes, she is clearly upset by the reveal, but not as much as she should be. Think about it for a moment. Her entire existence, her life, everything she had ever known was a lie. That is a lot for a child to take in, and that's not even getting itno nearly being killed by a sociopath abomination AKA the Indoraptor. And the worst is the reasoning behind the reveal of Maisie being a clone. It was what ultimately caused the riff between Hammond and Lockwood. So, ultimately, this reveal was essentially pointless to her character development. It served no purpose other than to make her a plot device. No, no movie. You don't get to do that. You don't get to make a huge reveal about someone's origins, completely brush aside the implications of those origins, ignore any justified long-term trauma from the reveal, and then have it be nothing more than plot device for another character's past actions. If you're going to have a human clone in your dinosaur sci-fi movie, then you'd better do it right or not at all.
Jurassic World: Dominion
- skteosk: Maisie's storyline. The conclusion of her character arc in the previous movie was bad enough (as noted above) and it was disappointing that her choice and the repercussions of it were completely ignored. But instead we have the reveal that Owen and Claire have taken her to a shack in the middle of nowhere, and forbidden her from seeing anyone or going more than a short distance from her home, because people are "after her" for ill-defined reasons. She even refers to herself as being a prisoner: It's treated as a teenage tantrum, but seems pretty accurate, and however well-intentioned they are, their treatment of her is downright abusive. The show tries to justify it by having her kidnapped soon after showing her face in public, but it still doesn't feel like any sort of solution. So, at the end of the film, do Owen and Claire realise this is no life for a young girl and she needs to be able to see people, preferably her own age? Do they make some sort of deal with the authorities to keep her safe? Do they heck. Instead, she cheerily goes back to her Gilded Cage, apparently content to spend her whole life as a hermit denied normal human interaction. Even her agreeing to help Wu with his experiments, pretty much her only moment of agency over her life in the entire film, doesn't seem to change anything for her. And yes, you're guessed it, this is treated as a happy ending.
- Troper/Angelspawndragon: Alan, Maisie, and Owen all doing the hand gesture on Beta. In the previous films, it was clearly established that this was something Owen had to spend months on training Blue and her sisters to recognize the signal and understand the command Owen is giving through it, and even then it was never a guarantee that they would still listen to him. Hell, Blue can barely restrain herself from mauling Owen and Maisie after Beta was taken and she still slashes at Owen when he tries to use the command on her. Yet, Dominion would have you believe that a trained behavior could be passed down from one generation to another, and it goes so far as to imply that it only worked because Maisie had somehow managed to establish a connection with Beta. And how would Alan and Maisie both know what the gesture even means, much less even work? Sure, Maisie saw Owen use it on Blue, but that was only once, so for all she knew, Owen was holding up his hand like an idiot in front of a large, highly aggressive, violently angry predator and, predictably, nearly lost his hand to it. Alan, however, only just meets them before the end of the film. Nevermind that Velociraptors are the dinosaurs Alan feared most because of his experiences with them in the 1993 and 2001 incidents, does he yank Maisie away from Beta, rightfully fearing that the smaller raptor could still severely injury her? Does he have so much as a mild panic attack at the mere sight of another Velociraptor, or try to push away their hands while asking what the hell they’re doing? Does he even think to ask what the hell they’re doing? Nope. Alan sees Maisie and Owen doing it, and Maisie does it because she’s seen Owen do it unsuccessfully before, and it works. Somehow, it just works, and worst of all, the film treats it as a moment of heartwarming awesomeness to show just how much like Owen Maisie is.
