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Parsnip
Parsnip Muffin Coco Cornflakes Pancake Sandy Plum Toffee Banoffee Marzipan Charlie Bunt Bunter Chestnut Mooncake Bunner
- Abhorrent Admirer: His drawing of himself & LeRose is so explicit the game pixelates it; LeRose even states she feels the need to cleanse herself after seeing it.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Parsnip walks to the beat of his own drum. His very off-beat, really creepy, own drum.
- Dude Looks Like a Lady: Parsnip is a boy (as he himself makes clear at one point) but you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise. He wears rather feminine clothing, has equally feminine mannerisms, and his name isn't really indicative of any gender.
- Edible Theme Naming: Exaggerated — just look at his full name up there!
- Expy: Parsnip is, by all means, Spongebob Squarepants if he were a land-dwelling lagomorph from the English countryside; a friendly, bubbly fellow who acts like a child despite being old enough to own a house, is In Touch with His Feminine Side, and even has an artsy grump for a next-door neighbor. Unlike Spongebob, Parnip's effeminate tendencies are made much more prominent, and his manchild personality isn't just annoying to those around him, but also comes off as genuinely unsettling.
- Killer Bunny: Not on purpose. At the end of the game, the player can choose to have Parsnip share his cake with the other villagers. This leads to all of Parsnip's neighbors dying, because the cake has paint and dirt in it.
- Lethal Chef: He apparently has a habit of getting paint into his cakes. And he doesn't mind if the ingredients he uses have dirt in them.
- Manchild: To a rather scary degree. He's so naïve and childish he doesn't get why repeatedly pestering people to lend him things is a bad thing, he is sarcasm-blind to the point of being Literal-Minded and he won't take 'no' for an answer. Even if someone outright tells him to leave them alone, he doesn't get the hint and will keep following them around, which is extremely creepy, seeing as he's an adult man and should know better.
- Noodle Incident:
- He once tried roller skating, which led to him and seven others being hospitalized. It's never explained what he did that caused this.
- Parsnip apparently cannot be trusted with knives after "the incident". What this is is never expanded upon, though one may consider Parsnip offhandedly remarking that "friends could get hurt" when referring to a knife as a hint.
- Overly Long Name: His full name is seen on the deed of ownership on his house. Everyone just refers to him as Parsnip, aside from The cultist, who always calls him "Parsnip Bunner."
Le Rose
Le Rose
- The Alcoholic: She's continually chugging down a wine bottle.
- Artsy Beret: She wears a black beret and has a lot of self-made paintings in front of her cottage.
- Deadpan Snarker: She tends to make snarky comments towards Parsnip and his oddities.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Parsnip calls her everything but her actual name, up to and including Ludwig. She has no idea how he ended up with that last one.
- Exhausted Eye Bags: Yup, she has those.
- True Art Is Incomprehensible: She goes into a long diatribe about the meaning of her latest painting after taking mild offense at Parsnip calling it cute. Parsnip doesn't understand any of it.
The Magnificent Magpie
The Magnificent Magpie
- Blatant Lies: They're obviously not royalty of any kind, but Parsnip takes their word for it because, well.. he's Parsnip.
- Spell My Name with a "The": When Parsnip addresses them just as Magnificent Magpie they yell at him and demand he put a 'the' in front of that.
- Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: They speak exclusively in wanna-be Shakespearean English, to underline their (supposed) royal nature.
Bell
Bell
- Affectionate Nickname: Calls Parsnip 'Hun'.
- Butch Lesbian: The magazine she reads is called Milk Jugs, though she claims she reads it "for the articles". Also, Parsnip says that she often has "sleepovers" with Le Rose, whom the artbook claims is "dangerously bisexual".
- The Slacker: She's introduced leafing through a magazine instead of doing her work. She then makes Parsnip shoo a sheep off the road for her, even though she could easily do it herself.
Squirrel Girl
Squirrel Girl
- Free-Range Children: Her parents are away on "holiday", so she's free to do whatever she wants. The sequel implies that the cultist murdered them.
- Gamer Chick: When she's not munching on chocolates, she's busy playing on her portable console.
- Sweet Tooth: She's continually wolfing down chocolates and has a lollipop stuck to her tail. Downplayed, as she later tells Parsnip the chocolates are the only edible thing she has left currently. There's frozen chips, but she doesn't know how to use the oven to thaw them.
The New Neighbor
A mysterious individual who has recently moved into the abandoned cottage at the end of the street.
- Ambiguous Gender: As you only ever see their eyes through the mail slot and the game doesn't have voice acting, it's not made clear whether they're a man or a woman. The artbook says that they're male, however.
- Affably Evil: It's all but stated they're a follower of Hastur, but they always remain polite and respectful when talking to Parsnip. They give him their milk when he asks for itnote and accept him calling them his new friend. Once he brings them everything they need for their ritual, they seem genuinely grateful and express regret that he will be swept up in the coming apocalypse.
- Fullname Basis: They always refer to Parsnip with "Parsnip Bunner".
- Pet the Dog: Their friendliness towards Parsnip is probably their only redeeming quality.
- Uplifted Animal: They're actually one of the sheep held as cattle who gained sentience thanks to The King In Yellow. Their goal is to do the same for their sisters by sacrificing people to their new god.
- Would Hurt a Child: They kidnap Squirrel Girl to use her as a sacrifice. It's implied they did the same to her parents.
