Characters / Never Mind the Buzzcocks

A list of the presenters and team captains over the years. Prior appearances on the show before becoming captain/main host is denoted in (brackets), while primary time on the show aren't in brackets.

Mark Lamarr
"This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks, and they said I couldn't polish it."

  • Author Appeal: He is a big fan of reggae. When Jimmy Cliff was on the show, Mark kept awarding Phil's team points for "just having Jimmy Cliff in".
  • Digging Yourself Deeper: Invoked by his "I say I liked it, I tolerated it - I say I tolerated it..." routine.
  • Driven to Suicide: Parodied, as he seemingly becomes more and more fed up with his job.
  • Farm Boy: Often portrayed as this in earlier series and tie-in books due to being from Swindon, occasionally putting on an exaggerated "oo ar me deario" voice and claiming it's his "natural" accent.
  • Important Haircut: His original 'Fifties Throwback' quiff was cut off as a charity stunt in between series.
  • Jerkass: Deadpan Snarker extraordinaire to the point of obnoxiousness. In all fairness, some of this is somewhat justified due to the arrogant and/or irritating nature of some of the guests.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Notable when a guest he particularly liked appeared on the show, such as Jimmy Cliff and Faye Tozer.

Phill Jupitus
"Need room to work? Shouldn't be on TV with me then, sweetheart."
1996- 2014

  • Author Appeal: Likes Star Wars and will take any opportunity to segue into doing a Chewbacca impression.
  • Big Eater: If Mark's jokes are anything to go by:
    Mark: Phill cooked Christmas dinner for eight, but before he could eat it, some people turned up...
  • The Constant: Has appeared on every main episode.

Sean Hughes
"Well, I'm getting it from all sides now!"

  • Beware the Quiet Ones: Just because he was the more laconic of the original three regulars, doesn't mean that he wasn't equally as capable as Mark or Phill to make a cutting insult.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Helped by his monotone southern Irish accent.
  • For the Lulz: Would often just make silly noises during the Intros Round, and more than a few times he would lose an episode against Phill's team despite being in the lead before Next Lines due to him preferring to give stupid answers and goof around.
  • Puppy-Dog Eyes: Once successfully used on Mark to score a point.
  • The Quiet One: When he left the show, Mark commemorated him with a montage of 'his contributions to the show', which consisted of clips of Sean's other team members answering questions while Sean sat quietly in the background.

Bill Bailey
"The last time I was on, you called me a Klingon nonce!"
(1998, 1999),2002-2008

  • Author Appeal: Likes science-fiction, especially Star Trek.
  • Butt-Monkey: Under Mark Lamarr's tenure. Not that Phil and Sean were much better off.
  • Cuckoosnarker: While most of his humour is light, quirky oddball stuff, he can be snarky when he wants to be.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Was a guest on the show before becoming team captain.
  • Nice Guy: As team captain or as a guest on the show, he's generally friendly to his fellow panelists.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red to Phill's blue.

Simon Amstell
"I'm Simon Amstell — and if you think I'm a poor booking, let's meet tonight's guests!"
(2003, 2005), 2006-2008

  • The Dog Bites Back: Falls victim to this when he mocks his guests one too many times. One notable moment was when Davina Mccall found footage of Simon's appearance as a young lad on a 90's morning show, imitating Dame Edna Everage. His first line in that clip made the audience laugh.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Appears as both a guest host and panellist prior to time as a host. Notably, Lamarr jokingly accuses him of trying to steal his "act", which he does a year or so later.
  • Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Not only would he cut his guests and other celebrities down to size, he would do so with the utmost glee.
  • Jerkass: Consistently smug, condescending and arrogant, with the occasional glimpse of Jerk with a Heart of Gold, such as Amy Winehouse's infamous second appearance - though he did find the time to mock her in the same show as well as during Mark Ronson's appearance.

Noel Fielding
"I'm loving this show this week, 'cause I'm usually the weird one."
(2007), 2009-2014

Rhod Gilbert

"I'll take you down into battle right now! Go on, you start!"
(2006, 2009, 2011), 2014