Dan
Played by: Greg Davies
A forty-something drama teacher who fails at living like an adult.- All Take and No Give: Brian lampshades how Dan is over-dependent on him and has nothing to offer in return.
- Anti-Hero: A short-tempered failure of a man whose successes are always overshadowed by his incompetence.
- Brain Bleach: When Dan finds out that his childhood friend "bear" was actually Brian, he goes into a screaming fit remembering how they used to do things that would come across as homosexual in hindsight.
- Butt-Monkey: At least once an episode, Dan's face will take some kind of hilarious punishment.
- Fat Bastard: People regularly bring up Dan's hefty shape and he has a short temper.
- Kavorka Man: Dan's an unattractive manchild, yet he's managed to get an impressive number of women to notice him. He'd just come out of a relationship at the start of the series, has moments with both Emma and Ally (with the former even having a baby with him) and was able to date a woman almost 20 years his junior.
- Loser Protagonist: Middle-aged, lives with his parents, out of shape, loses his girlfriend, hates his job, can't stand his friends, can't gather the documents needed to migrate to another country and can't go a minute without embarrassing himself doing mundane tasks.
- Manchild: His entire character. His reaction to pretty much any moment of inconvenience is to either scream, cry or come up with some ridiculous scheme.
- Nice Mean And In Between: The Mean to Jo's Nice and Brian's In-between.
Brian
Played by: Mike Wozniak
Dan's best friend. A straitlaced financial advisor who is constantly bewildered by the people around him.- The Bore: His interests include history, finances and local politics. Dan and Jo are stunned to find out he doesn't know who Colonel Abrams is.
- Foil: To both Dan and Jo. He's mature, reliable and level-headed. Unfortunately he's also a bit of a bore.
- Happily Married: Assumed to be this, given how he's the stable one, but it's eventually revealed that his wife divorced him and took the kids.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: He's been Dan's friend since childhood.
- The Loins Sleep Tonight: Becomes an issue for him in season 4 when Ally tries to masturbate him but he can't perform.
- Mistaken for Cheating: Behaves as if he's having an illicit relationship in season 4, when in fact he's acting as an unpaid extra in a 1940s theme park.
- Nice Mean And In Between: The In-between to Jo's Nice and Dan's Mean.
- Porn Stache: His only real quirk is having a mustache that Dan says makes him look like a homosexual from the 70s.
- Slobs vs. Snobs: He's got a low opinion of Scottish people, seeing them as violent louts with a bastardised dialect. It doesn’t help that his youngest daughter suddenly developed a Scottish accent soon after moving to Scotland with her mother.
- Straight Man: He knows he's this to both Dan and Jo, but sticks with it because they're both too stupid to live without him.
Jo
Played by: Roisin Conaty
Dan's other best friend. An airhead who can't keep a steady job.- Cloudcuckoolander: She comes up with some bizarre ideas about how to get by and hangs out with some oddballs.
- The Ditz: Jo's incredibly dense. When she tries opening up a shop, she picks the name "Special Needs", oblivious to how that phrase is typically used.
- The Heart: While she doesn't bring any emotional support to the trio, her childlike personality and inability to function on her own does occasionally keep Dan and Brian on the same page long enough to protect her from herself.
- Nice Mean And In Between: The Nice to Dan's Mean and Brian's In-between.
- Sucks at Dancing: Fancies herself as a salsa dancer, yet it's pointed out that none of her moves are salsa-derived.
Mum
Played by: Gwyneth Powell
Dan's mother. She coddles him and is oblivious to his issues.- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: She has no qualms letting total strangers read Dan's childhood diary.
- Housewife: She's old-fashioned and lives for the family, still doing Dan's laundry with no complaint.
- Let's Get Dangerous!: Proves to be unexpectedly tough in the series finale when she punches Daedalus, tells him to leave her family alone, and calls him a bitch.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: The Girly Girl to Nesta's Tomboy.
Dad
Played by: Rik Mayall
Dan's father. He enjoys attacking Dan out of nowhere.- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Really, how would you feel about your father tackling you in public when you're in your 40s? Not to mention the cringe worthy content he put in his will.
- Ax-Crazy: He sees himself as a prankster, but most of his pranks revolve around making Dan suffer.
- Killed Off for Real: Owing to Rik Mayall's passing after Series 1, Dad is revealed to have died at the start of Series 2.
Nesta
Played by: Stephanie Cole
Dan's aunt on his father's side. She's a farmer and a hard woman.- Foil: To Dad. Nesta is devoid of any sense of humour in stark contrast to Dad's crazed brand of comedy.
- Iron Lady: Runs a farm by herself well into her 70s and most people know better than to cross her.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: While Dan isn't exactly feminine, his emotional outbursts make Nesta's ruggedness seem especially apparent.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: The Tomboy to Mum's Girly Girl.
Emma
Played by: Jeany Spark
Headmistress at Dan's school. She eventually forms a relationship with him.- Babies Ever After: Has Dan's child in the final series.
- Will They or Won't They?: Their chemistry is teased while Dan tries to win back Naomi. Eventually they do have a relationship that culminates in a baby. Unfortunately, Dan's complete ineptitude proves to be too much both during and after the birth, so Emma eventually cuts him off.
Naomi
Played by: Deidre Mullins
Dan's ex-girlfriend. She dumps him for failing to get his act together, so he resolves to win her back however he can.- Flat Character: Her only defining trait is being sick of Dan's immaturity. Beyond that we get no insight into her as a person. She's so dull you have to wonder exactly what Dan sees in her.
- Put on a Bus: Naomi's only present for the first series, during which time she confirms that there's no chance for Dan to ever get her back. As a result, she naturally doesn't appear in later episodes due to Dan eventually getting the message.
- Satellite Love Interest: She's only ever presented as a goal for Dan to attain.
Shakira
Played by: Ashley McGuire
The cook at Dan's favourite cafe. A slovenly and antisocial woman.- The Dreaded: Her husband Bob. Anytime someone makes a scene in the cafe, she threatens to get him in to sort them out and they immediately pipe down. Subverted as it's eventually revealed Bob is actually a Nice Guy who can't stand living with Shakira.
- Greasy Spoon: Her cafe is unapologetically this. Pretty much the only thing guaranteed to be on the menu is eggs, some of which will be burned.
- Jerkass: Shakira's a total grouch who treats her customers like crap. Key moments include telling Dan how hilarious it is finding out that he might have been adopted this whole time, and punching his breakfast.
Ally
Played by: Isy Suttie
Dan's replacement. Much better at her job than Dan ever was.- Foil: To Dan. She's able to do his job without yelling at the students or cracking from the pressure.
- Nice Girl: She's a bit snarky and isn't what you'd call a pushover, but she's nonetheless a kind-hearted and approachable person.
- Only Sane Woman: She's not particularly alarmed by Dan's immaturity, but she still tries to steer him in the right direction every now and then.
- Will They or Won't They?: She has a few moments of chemistry with Dan. By the final episode, it's suggested that they will end up together.
Daedalus
Played by: Tony Robinson
Mum's new beau. He takes an instant disliking of Dan. The feeling's mutual.- The Bus Came Back: Series 3 ended with Daedalus getting kicked out of the house by Dan and Nesta. He returns at the end of Series 4 to kidnap Dan and get his revenge.
- Foil:
- To Dad. While Dad's treatment of Dan bordered on physical and emotional abuse, he did love him in his own twisted way. Daedalus on the other hand has a more hands-off approach that does nothing to hide his contempt of Dan.
- Also to Nesta. Nesta is steadfast, independent and while she doesn't necessarily like Dan, she doesn't hate him either. Daedalus is a parasite by comparison.
- Last Villain Stand: In the finale Daedalus kidnaps Dan. The bulk of the episode ends up being about Dan trying to escape and his family and friends trying to rescue him.
- Smug Snake: He spends every moment onscreen condescending Dan.
Karen, Dennis & Robin
Played by: Madeline Harris (Karen), Alfie Davis (Dennis), Frankie Akhurst (Robin)
Dan's three most recurring students. None of them reflect well on him.- Bring My Brown Pants: Robin has a habit of defecating himself out of stage fright, which is unfortunate considering he's in a drama class.
- Flipping the Bird: Karen does this to Dan at every opportunity.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Karen's belittling of Dan is usually on point, to which Dan can only reply by saying she's got no friends.
- Large Ham: Dennis is always one agitation away from screaming.
- Lower-Class Lout: Dennis doesn't have a father and his mother has a criminal record. It's little wonder he's so emotionally out of whack
- No Indoor Voice: DennisSIR! I FEEL REALLY ANGRY!!!
- Sitcom Archnemesis: Dan and Karen hate each other's guts.
Community Officer
Played by: Stephen Morrison
A short-tempered public servant that Dan and Brian keep running into.- Hair-Trigger Temper: Everything sets this guy off.
- Inspector Javert: If Dan or Brian ever find themselves even considering doing something illegal (usually of the minor crimes rather than anything destructive or harmful), the Community Officer will leap out of nowhere and scream at them.
- The Napoleon: Played with. He's of average height, but still noticeably shorter than Dan (somewhat unavoidable since Dan is played by 6'8 Greg Davies) and it's clear he's very insecure about the fact he's not a police officer.
Mickey Two-Face
Played by: Geoffrey Sergison
One of Jo's weird friends.- Gonk: A dumpy little man with a fashion sense that's even more bizarre than Jo's.
- The Quiet One: He never speaks, save for one episode where he sings What a Wonderful World, revealing he's got a surprisingly dulcet singing voice.
Dom
Played by: Ramon Tikaram
A self-help guru. Has a massive arse.- The Ace: An athletic man who knows a secret technique that can subdue even the most ferocious opponent without violence.
- The Casanova: He has a personal rule stating that if he ever goes to a wedding, he must sleep with one of the women there. In his own words, he's never failed before. To Dan's horror, he sees Dom dancing with his mother and grinning triumphantly.
- Large Ham: He talks with a booming Shakespearean tone.
- Odd Friendship: He takes a liking to Dan within hours of meeting him, purely because Dan was drinking cranberry juice.
- Trademark Favourite Food: He's addicted to cranberry juice and instructs his followers to drink it regularly.
Sam
Played by: Daniel Adegboyega
A fitness instructor. Dan can't get anything past him.- Character Catchphrase: Sam's interactions with Dan typically start with him asking if Dan's doing something idiotic (which Dan always is), Dan denying it, then Sam saying "Yeah, you are. You're (whatever Dan was doing)".
- Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Manly Man to Don's Sensitive Guy. Sam has an unflinching air of authority and professionalism, while Dan is always one setback away from having a nervous breakdown.
Carol
Played by: Ruth Bratt
An aged care assistant. She's a bit odd.- Abhorrent Admirer: She's got a blatant crush on Dan. When her father Daedalus kidnaps Dan, she tries to make him her boyfriend.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Generally seems to be in her own little world.
