> Heed royal roster.
With most regal decree, you read off the list of important kingdom citizens.
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Bard and Company
The Bard
- The Dragonslayer: He's promoted to this at the beginning of the adventure, but he never ends up finding a dragon to actually slay.
- Informed Ability: The illustrations that follow him around frequently show him stepping on or killing dragons. The one time he does see one, he can't recognize it.
- Mean Boss: He can't be arsed to learn his servants' names, and slaps them around for petty reasons.
- No Name Given: Never referred to by either name or title throughout the story.
- The Bard: It's all in the title. Even after becoming the kingdom's dragon slayer, he keeps the aesthetic.
- The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: He doesn't do all that much bard stuff after the opening scene, where he's quickly promoted to dragon slayer. (And given the story was cut short, he doesn't get around to doing that, either.)
Flothers and Daunchy
- Bumbling Sidekick: The Bard certainly treats the pair like these.
- The Dividual: Both servants tend to be depicted in tandem. At one point, the Bard even Dope Slaps Daunchy for something Flothers said.
- Favors for the Sexy: He's not exactly sexy, but the pair immediately decide to follow the Bard after seeing him don the Hull of the Flagship.
- Inexplicably Identical Individuals: They share the exact same bald, possibly naked character model.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Since their leader never bothered asking their names, they're instead identified by the ones he made up on the fly.
- Toothy Issue: They're normally depicted with overbites if their mouths are drawn in a scene.
- You Have to Believe Me!: Daunchy's suggestion of looking for dragons in the Caverns of Harold gets him reprimanded (i.e. decked) for making up "bullshit locations". The Bard realizes his mistake after simply looking to the right.
Townsfolk
The Butcher
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: Upon being asked for bratwurst, the butcher snipes back "We don't stock dildos here!" and kicks the Bard out on suspicions of homosexuality.
The Blacksmith
- Porn Stash: If the Bard asks for porn at his shop, he'll throw him out, but secretly toss a magazine from his stash with him.
The Codsmith
- Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: This man has a schnoz as long as the codpieces he sells.
- Shoplift and Die: Does not take stolen goods lightly. If the Bard decides to act innocent after he stole the Hull of the Flagship, he gets immediately catapulted out. Sneaking back in and stealing two more codpieces only leads to a Gilligan Cut where the entire party's heads are put on pikes.
Others
The King
- Boomerang Bigot: He makes no attempt to hide his sexuality, yet the law for everyone else states that homosexuals get thrown in the dungeon. Then again, the blacksmith said it was the king's personal dungeon, so he may actually have other plans for lawbreakers.
- Paid Harem: Two barechested hunks serve as his bodyguards.
Swamp Wizard
- Flat Character: Can't get much flatter than showing up right before the comic got cancelled.
- Robe and Wizard Hat: Like any good wizard, he sports these.
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