The cast of the second Banal Fantasy and the tropes related to them.
For the actual Final Fantasy VIII characters parodied here, see its characters sheet.
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Main characters
Siquall Coeur De Lion
A dark and brooding Ride candidate with a ridiculous name.- Catchphrase: "Hm-hm."
- Covert Pervert: After Sel finds a porn mag in their train car:Sel: Hey, that tempts Siquall too!Siquall: Nonsense.Sel: You know, with your black leather pants, your boner is very visible.
- The Comically Serious: A lot of the jokes involving him comes from the pole up his ass until Character Development kicks in.
- Cool Scars: His is cool, but not it's origin. Instead of getting it in a duel with Cyphon, he got it by falling on a table after getting drunk.
- Delayed Reaction: It takes him two real life minutes to realize that Lagune is his father. After Lagune stated numerous features Siquall and his late wife have in common.
- Hates Everyone Equally: Clearly stated in episode 1 after Sel tries to convice him than Cyphon shouldn't be their leader because they both hate him:Siquall: The whole world inspires me a profound antipathy, why [Cyphon] more than anyone else?
- The Rival: To Cyphon. He could care less about it, though.
Kisnif Trampe
A Balance Garden teacher with an unhealthy crush on Siquall.- Hot for Student: A borderline Yandere when it comes to Siquall.
- Hypocrite: She sees no problem about being real friendly with one of her students, but pulls rank when Siquall treats her as an equal. This stops after Siquall becomes a Ride.
- Shouting Shooter: Lets out a Rambo-ish roar when she saves Siquall from the Goliath using a heavy machinegun.
Sel Inch
A overexicted Balance Garden student.- Disguised in Drag: The "deceit tactic" of Cyphon during the Ride exam is this. He pulls it off well enough to seduce a Blédina soldier.
- Signed Up for the Dental: He wants to be a Ride just to have his travel expenses paid by his employers.
Celrie Limite
A new Balance Garden student with a rather quirky personnality.- Catchphrase: "J'ai tombé." note
- Cloudcuckoolander: Only Celrie could dream about wearing a giant canary costume and rubbing the genital area of the costume on the head of a rabid dog before dreaming abouy Wargl.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: She growled at Alinéa for talking to Sel on the phone for less than 10 seconds.
- Felony Misdemeanor: She missed her first lesson of school? Her school years are forever ruined!
Alinéa Tartilly & Pupute
The leader of the Drunk Pigeons resistance group and her crazy dog.- Really Gets Around: Pupute "sleeps with every dog around and tries to suck anything that fits in her mouth" after Aliena accidentally put her in a laundry dryer.Alinéa: Anyone would've thought she was a fur in the laundry basket !
Ichbin Iglésias
Lagune Rhône
A Blédina SOLDIER with a pathetic sense of orientation and a very weird gimmick.- Character Tics: He scratches his left testicle whenever he is stressed; the more stressed he is, the faster he scratches.
- No Sense of Direction: According to Kir, Lagune's way of reading a map consists of holding the map upside-down and walk towards whatever looks like his destination.
Kir
One of Lagune's teammates.- Catchphrase: "I'm gonna eat you alive!", usually said to Lagune after another failure.
- Darkest Africa: Black? Check. Threatens to eat Lagune every time he screws up and claims that his tribe has a special recipe for cooking white people? Check. Calls Lagune "little white man" a few times"? Check.
- Unexplained Accent: He speaks with a thick stereotypical African accent for no reason.
Wargl
Lagune's other teammate.- Dumb Muscle: He is not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Supporting cast
Idea
A overreacting sorceress with a mysterious link to the protagonists.- Catchphrase: "I'M A HORRIBLE GOVERNESS! SHAME ON ME, SHAME ON ME!! I'M GOING TO COMMIT SEPPUKU!!!"
- Felony Misdemeanor: Almost everything she does including Siquall and his crew makes her react like she commited an atrocity, leading to her Catchphrase.
Private Big and Commander Wesh
Two Blédina Soldiers who frequently bump into Siquall and his crew.- Large Ham: Wesh goes overboard whenever he is scared or angry, which happens 90% of the time.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Big is blue, Wesh is red.
- Those Two Guys
Cidre Kramé
Chaude
A Balance Garden teacher and friend of Kisnif.- Punny Name: Chaude means "hot" when applied to a female, but also means "in heat" in slang.
- Really Gets Around: She speaks in a sultry voice most of the time and her dialog implies she wouldn't mind getting it on with some of the Balance students.
- Suddenly Shouting: She recites the whole Ride exam briefing in her sultry voice, then screams at a technician when she wants to show a map. Because she didn't notice he was right behind her.
Cyphon Ramasy
Siquall's rival.- The Alcoholic: He considers that vodka does not count as alcohol and mixes his morning hot chocolate with Martini. When Siquall asks him why he puts alcohol into eveything he eats, he states that it tastes bland without it.
- Catchphrase: "Je l'/les aurai un jour, je l'/les aurai!" note
- Cool Scars: Like Siquall, cool looking but not cool in origin. In his case, he was so distracted laughing at Siquall being drunk that he ran into a roadsign.
- Hot-Blooded
- Skewed Priorities: He abandons his team during the Ride exam and leaves them to fight... To roll a joint.
Doctor Jeyser
Doctor Kawasaki
Régine and Fuljean
The two best (and only friends) of Cyphon.Juliette
A popular Blédina singer.- Lounge Singer: Just like her inspiration in the game. Lagune is smitten with her and calles her "the epitome of feminity" despite the fact that her first song is a Davenote one and the second is named Dicks On Me.
