First Hanasaki appearance!
Duel Three: Hard Beat!
(street corner)
Yugi: Did you know I take the bus to school every morning? I'm not surprised if you didn't, since this only happens twice.
(bus)
Yugi: Man, I didn't think my high school was this popular! What a crowd. Hey, there's Hanasaki, the only kid in class who makes me look macho. Hi, Hanasaki!
Hanasaki: (ignore)
Yugi: Apparently, he doesn't know who I am. Despite us having sat next to each other in class for the last few months.
Bus Driver: I brake for deux ex machina!
Yugi: Faaalling! Hey, wait a minute. The entire back of the bus is empty, but it sounds like someone's beating a sack of cats to death.
Yugi: I see, it's Sozoji from Class C! He's sitting with his knees spread like he has crotch rash, and wearing those earphones that are actually louder on the outside than the inside. He's so ghetto!
Sozoji: Hey, Yugi! Sit right next to me, I've got something to talk to you about.
Yugi: I'm straight, and your hairhorn scares me.
Sozoji: No, I just want to talk about karaoke.
Yugi: You know, I think I would have preferred the yaoi.
Sozoji: I'm holding a performance, and I want you to sell overpriced tickets to unwilling people. Or the rest of your body will ache, instead of just your ears.
(classroom)
Jonouchi: Since we don't actually have a celebrity at this school, I'm gonna be the first!
Yugi: You haven't looked at the title of this manga lately, have you?
Jonouchi: Is something wrong, Yugi? Because, as your friend, I would help you if there was something wrong.
Yugi: ...no.
Jonouchi: Gotcha!
Yugi: It's because Jonouchi and Anzu and Honda are my friends that I can't tell them of this threat. I have to protect them.
Honda: Hey, Jonouchi, have you noticed how we always hang out together and never actually date girls?
Jonouchi: Dang, you're right! I know, let's peek at Anzu's panties. That will establish our "straight" credentials beyond doubt.
Honda: Cool!
Anzu: There are times it just doesn't pay to be a girl in a shonen manga.
(locker room)
Yugi: Still have all the tickets. Wait, there's Hanasaki again. No, what am I thinking? Bad Yugi!
Hanasaki: Would you like to buy a Sozoji ticket? I've got five to unload.
Yugi: I gave Grandfather back the extortion money from Chapter One, so I can't buy one, but I'll take care of all five for you.
Hanasaki: Thanks, Yugi! You're a pal. I guess all those rumors about you having a dark side were just hooey.
Yugi: I have fifteen tickets now, but I have a martyr complex, so I'll absorb all the suffering embodied in them myself. (leaves)
Hanasaki: Whew! Dodged that bullet.
Sozoji: Wanna bet?
(karaoke parlor)
Sozoji: I put on my best "fat Elvis" outfit and nobody came? Explain, Yugi!
Yugi: Everyone had to wash their hair tonight?
Sozoji: Well, in that case I'm just going to have to put out an extra effort tonight. Here, wear these headphones, and I'll crank up the amplifiers I borrowed from Spinal Tap.
(Sozoji sings, in much the same way a chainsaw performs brain surgery.)
Yugi: When does the hurting end?
Sozoji: That was just the opening number! Now let's bring out a special guest star.
Hanasaki: Owie.
Sozoji: Since I'm a villain, I'll blame you, Yugi, for the horrible things I did.
Hanasaki: I should never have dragged you into this, Yugi.
Millenium Puzzle: Shoom!
Yami: I think I'll unplug these headphones now.
Sozoji: You talking to me, shorty?
Yami: Let's play a game. A Silence game.
Sojozi: Yugi looks completely different. If I had a brain, I'd run.
Yami: We'll use these two sound-sensitive clowns that just happen to be in the cupboard. The first one to make a sound and make the clown dance loses.
Sugoroku: Now available at a game store near you! Hey, I have to shill something until the trading cards come on line.
Sojozi: So if you lose, I get to kill you slowly by vocal torture, but if I lose, I just have to play another game? Sign me up!
Hanasaki: Don't mind me, I'm just unconscious and bleeding in the corner over here.
(silence)
Sojozi: So far, so boring. Wait, Yugi's headphone jack is resting precariously on a glass rim. It'll fall any second!
(it doesn't)
Sojozi: Fall, fall you stupid jack! Man, I'm getting so excited my heart is pounding.
(Sojozi's clown dances)
Sojozi: The heck?
Yami: You've been clutching the microphone next to your chest, with a loudspeaker directly behind you. Guess whose heartbeat is being broadcast at 11?
Sojozi: D'oh!
Yami: Penalty Game! From now on, you'll be able to hear nothing but your own heart beating! But hey, it's got a catchy rhythm and you can dance to it.
(He carries Hanasaki out)
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